My Fictional Life

LegacyUser

hi all

My problem will seem quite trivial to many of you but it is affecting me quite deeply.
I'm a day dreamer, I always have been since I was a small child. That was never a problem, an imagination is a wonderful thing to have. however since my late teens until now my late 20's it has become a issue that is causing me great grief.

At this stage i have built up a totally alternative version of my life in my head. I had a happy childhood but in this one my life was miserable and made me a much stronger and more capable person than I am in real life. I have built up many scenarios in my head and am sometimes moved to tears or rage by them when i play them out in my head. I could be sitting in somewhere and start to wander off and then all of a sudden start to feel a tear well up in my eye. I'm a grown man standing at six foot two and built to match so as you can imagine this is a strange site. This could have me in a sad or aggressive mood for the rest of the day which as you can imagine has an effect on my personal relationships.

Am I the only one who has this problem and if I am does anyone know what I can do too cure it. any suggestions are welcome

yours
Dreamer07

LegacyUser

sorry for the bump but i just noticed there have been 100 views and no replies.
I really want some advice here. Any takers?

Victor

Give it time. You only posted 2 hours ago.

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I don't know what to say, but if you find yourself getting into this train of thought. Try doing something to snap yourself out of it - some people suggest keeping an elastic band on you wrist and snapping it when you start.

Deeper down, perhaps you should discuss this with someone, even friends and family.

dublincitadel

hello,

firstly, fair play for having the balls to post, its not easy when you have stuff llike this in your head, and you think nobody will understand. You seem like an honest, intelligent bloke, so i'll pay you the compliment of being blunt, ok.

Do you use drugs ? if so, even if it's only small stuff, then Stop. It will just make things worse.

What about booze ??

I only ask because I found myself in a downward spiral about 10 years ago, and I was doing both, and because of that, things got a lot worse before they got better.

My advice is to talk to your doctor, because he/she will be able to point you in the direction for some profesional to talk to in detail about whats going on.

Talking to a professional about stuff like this is NOTHING to be ashamed, or afraid of. You have already made the first step posting here, and it's clear you are worried about where your thoughts may be bringing you.

Having said that, dont panic. I won't patronise you patting you on the back and telling you everything's going to be alright. Yes believe it or not, life IS a pile of sh*te sometimes, everybody knows it, so it's not just you. sometimes when you're in the middle of a pile of sh*te on your own, it just seems a lot worse than it actually is.

Nerin

Hey OP.
i had that habit since i was a child,i totally different version of events in my head,as i got older the more fantastical stuff needed an explanation,so more was imagined,and now,well,its a big world in my head.
i used to get confused by it,i dunno if i view it as bad anymore,sometimes it can be emotional,but i think its normal.
i still do it everyday,especially during bus journeys and walks.
the key thing for me was i started writing a story out of all my imaginative ramblings,so maybe you need a way to vent,painting or the like?

dublincitadel

nerin wrote: »

i started writing a story out of all my imaginative ramblings,so maybe you need a way to vent,painting or the like?

I agree nerin, that's a good idea too OP, worth giving it a go anyway, at least until you decide whether you wanna talk to someone or not ? can't do any harm to turn your hell into something creative too, i guess ?

LegacyUser

I did this when I was younger occasionally. Putting myself and other people into scenarios. Playing them out fully.

I don't know whether its a combination of an active imagination and/or playing with feelings that you might not come accross in real life and a way of developing empathy or something.

It stopped after I was in my late teens. Probably around the same time I went to college and stopped getting bored.

Then the only time scenarios would play out in full in my head was if I had had an argument with someone and felt like I hadnt fully got my point accross. In the fantasy version I was the most eloquent debater and got the last word in.

Dipping out of reality so often is a bit concerning. You could be severly bored with your current day to day. It's also a bit concerning that the feelings would stay with you and might suggest that you are accepting these feelings and allowing them to interfere in your reality.
Have you a lot of time on your hands or are you unhappy with your day to day?

Earthhorse

So, you've created an idealised version of yourself or your life which the real version doesn't live up to? Most people do that. Trouble is, in your case, the gap between the two has become so big that it's now causing you pain. Whenever you return to your "real life" you're reminded of how inadequate it is, compared with the "imagined life" anyway. So, to escape this, you retreat back to the fantasy, which may have been a comfort at first but now seems to also cause pain. Do you see the problem here?

What you need to do is stop the fantasies. I know you might protest. You might think, "But my imagination is such an important part of me and I don't want to give it up". You say in your post that "an imagination is a wonderful thing to have" but nothing truly wonderful ever caused pain. How could that be?

Every time you find your mind wandering into this fantasy just root yourself instead in the here and now. Not in a judgemental way. Don't think or evaluate the present, just be in it. You may have forgotten how to do this but you will remember with practise. If you can, get yourself a copy of The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. Read it and read it again. I don't normally recommend those kind of books but it seems particularly appropriate for your situation.

Victor has also suggested talking to someone and if you do have things on your mind this is a good suggestion. nerin has also suggested channeling your imagination into something creative such as painting which I think is a great way to properly use such a gift (I was going to suggest writing but you will know better what you want to do). I also suggest talking small steps toward becoming the idealised version of yourself that you have imagined, but they need to be small, at least at first, and ironically the more time you spend imagining this self the less you will have left to get there. So the most important part is to come back into the present where you, indeed all of us, have to live.

Hope this post helps you and good luck with it.

supertramp

I have had that. A huge imagination. I often picture my own death or god-forbid, those close to me. I can't help it, it just seems to wander off, my imagination.
I too am moved to tears if I am deeply day dreaming. It only hits when I'm on my own in a quiet place, or after excercise.

Also, I have an imagination version of myself, leaving everything and travelling the world by unusual methods, which I can't see myself having the courage to do.

The only difference is, that I rather enjoy it.

I've had a very active imagination for about 15 years or more. I know that around 12 years ago I started putting it to paper. Then my brother found my writings and humiliated me in front of my family. I haven't discussed it since.

star-pants

Hey OP -
I would class myself as having a vivid imagination, run away with the fairies sometimes I do.
I've ALWAYS had other things going on in my head since I was little. Even my mother said so, she said I'd talk to myself for hours in my room, but didn't have an imaginary friend.
When I was younger I used to have awake nightmares, when I was trying to go to sleep, people close to me would be dying/put in coffins etc etc, and I'd just have to lie there crying til it stopped because I was already awake and thus couldn't 'wake' from it. Thank goodness I grew out of that. But I can sometimes think of things that would bring me to tears or laugh or something. I'm the type of person who's very tied to emotions.

I think perhaps sometimes it's an overactive part of your subconscious - it finds it's way to the front & you play out the 'what ifs' and other scenarios. As someone else said there, after arguements or before them / discussions / things upsetting you, you play out the conversation how it might go or how you'd like it to go. I do that all the time. If I'm bored I wander off into my own little world, it's no harm to me, and sometimes it can give you solutions to things.

If the case is that it's affecting your life / unsettling you, then perhaps seek medical advice, perhaps there are things you need to talk out or maybe not.
A lot of people don't admit that they do this / talk to themselves, but I think most people do at somepoint. It's a way for your brain to run through extra info in your brain etc.

I hope these posts here help you, and twas brave of you to come forward and say it, as I'm sure some people like Karsini have had a bad reaction to it. I'm really sorry that happened to you Karsini by the way - that was a mean thing to have done to you.

LegacyUser

Dreamer, I'm exactly the same.

I'm a bloke, I'm 21 and I'm the same... It's like I live my life through my imagination.

Any argument I need to have out with someone gets played through my head, but never happens.
Every step I want to take in life happens in my head, in my imagination, but its like a plan on paper that never happens.
Sometimes when I'm in over my head, I just play out a scenario in my head where it all works out.

It causes me quite a few problems mate. Just tonight, because of problems I'm having with my girlfriend, I've spent a few hours playing it out in my head where everyone feels sorry for me. It's so sad.

Overheal

venting is useful. I dont have an 'alternate life' but I do have an imagination. Its more like a 'what if I could do this'.

Eventually, it took form when I started drawing when I was about 7 and I've managed to hang on to this same image, or character, since; though its evolved over the years. I used to get bullied a lot back then - at the start my imagination presented me with a kind of superhero/power-ranger-esque concept to daydream of. Nowadays its still around as something far derived and feels more like IronMan.

My daydreams usually are about things like 'ok if i had my daydream characters abilities, how would I act?' Many memorable thoughts were how to stop the Florida firestorm in 1998, the launch of the Iraq War, the 9/11 attack, the columbine high school shooting, how insanely easy it would be to kill George Bush [y'know - if I were my character], etc.

Good times

LegacyUser

Hi dreamer
Next time you are at the doctor I would just mention it to him/her. It might be worth talking it over with a professional. If it effects your moods like you say it is no harm.
A few sessions with a professional might help you deal with it and how you feel.
Its obviously bothering you enough to post here so you should take the next step.
Good luck with it.

davyjose

Dreamer, to be honest I think it is less a psychological problem and more to do with what's going on in your everyday life - does this happen at any time, or just when you are bored or lonely?
I have a parallel life (in my head) too. In it I play for Manchester United and Ireland and am one of the best footballer's ever. It is freakishly detailed and I've been doing this for years. To be honest, I just enjoy it and it's something to think about when I'm on the train. I have a feeling it stems from my own lack of personal ambition/achievement, but like I said, it doesn't bother me.
So maybe you could find out if yours stems from any issue in your own life (a strong possibility) an maybe tackle that.