She's leaving

Speedway

my girlfriend and myself have been together for 3 years. I'm madly in love with her. I recently moved from Cork to Dublin for a new job after I graduated and she was still working in Cork. She hasn't been happy in her job and we only see eachother at weekends. It's been tough but the weekends have been so good. We've been so happy when we're around eachother.

Her older sister is going to Austraila in January and my girlfriend has decided to go with her. She said she needs to do it for herself and to grow and clear her head because she can't find work she wants to do in Ireland and she feels lost and needs direction.
She said that I shouldn't think of this as us breaking up but just taking a break and it might be good for us to spend time apart because we're so young (both 23) and we can stay in touch while she's over there and i could come visit and see how things go.I asked her to move in with me up in Dublin but she said she needs to try to get out and fend for herself and not depend on me so much.

I really feel like my world is falling apart. I've never felt so lonely and scared. She's everything to me. We do everything together and talk like 6/7 times on the phone everyday and when i was in cork we used to see eachother nearly every day.

I've been very lonely up in Dublin cause not all my friends are around and being away from my family and her. But the one thing that got me through the weeks was the weekends and getting to see her. Now that's going to be gone and she won't be mine anymore. We'll probably stay in touch but she won't be my girlfriend she's just going to be someone i stay in touch with.

I just don't know what to do. I feel so so scared and lonely.I don't know what I'm going to do without her.We usually go to eachother with our problems and talk about everything but I can't talk to her about all this.

Lil' Smiler

I suppose just wait and see what happens.

Don't ruin your time now by letting these feelings take over your life, enjoy the time you have left with her. As you said you can visit her, you can email, phone etc. If you mean that much to each other, you can get through the even longer distance between you and hopefully it'll all work out

Cathmandooo

Would you consider going to Australia too? I can see it from her point of view also, I'm completely lost with no direction at the moment and if someone close to me was going to Australia I'd jump on the chance to go too! It's a once in a lifetime opportunity for her!

I can see how awful it is for you and i feel for you but I dont think you should guilt her into staying in Ireland for you. She'll be home again and hopefully she'll know what she wants out of life then and is ready to settle down with you.

There's little you can do other than either go with her or support her decision and look forward to the day she's back but still live your own life while she's gone. Hope it works out anyway

Speedway

thank you for the replies. That's what i'm thinking. If i just try to be as supportive as possible and try to show her how much i love her and want her to be happy without guilting her then it might be the best approach you think?

togster

Why would you change how you feel, tell her. I mean if you don't agree with it why pretend?

Cathmandooo

Speedway wrote: »

thank you for the replies. That's what i'm thinking. If i just try to be as supportive as possible and try to show her how much i love her and want her to be happy without guilting her then it might be the best approach you think?

Do let her know that you hate that she's leaving but it sounds like something she has to do! Be supportive and enjoy your last month together

*Lees*

Speedway wrote: »

thank you for the replies. That's what i'm thinking. If i just try to be as supportive as possible and try to show her how much i love her and want her to be happy without guilting her then it might be the best approach you think?

Definitely! She probably feels she needs to do this now and get it out of her system! If you guilt her into not going she might end up regretting it later and resenting you for making her stay! I know it's hard, I couldn't imagine going through it but some people do the long distance thing all the time and it works for them!

r3nu4l

Speedway, next time you see her face-to-face ask her to be very honest and open with you. Ask her if she still loves you. Ask her is there any point in you viewing your relationship as solid and say that you don't want to be strung along. If she does still feel the same for you then things might be okay, you can still chat to her on the phone, webcam on Skype, email etc. It's not the same but it's something.

If she is unhappy in Ireland, can't get a job she enjoys and is miserable then this is really just an adventure for her. She may only stay a year and come back!

On the plus side, a friend of mine in college was going out with an American Girl he met in Ireland. She moved back to the States and they continued as a couple. He would visit her about 3 times a year and she would visit him too. They got married three years ago and are now living in the States