First Time

LegacyUser

So myself and the girlfriend have decided to take the plunge and finally do it...We both love each other and know we're ready..

But im just a bit worried that it wont be all she's anticipated if you get me..I am looking for advice on how i can make the whole experience better for the both of us?

And as strange as this question may sound...How long should i expect the whole process to last ?I presume sex takes a lot longer than "manual labour" haha

All help much appreciated....

Gibbins123

sex can sometimes take less time than manual labour!

but sex & foreplay...takes a lot longer yes!

If she is a very romantic person, then rose petals would be so so sweet to have on first time. Apparently the fake fabric red rose petals are better, as real ones can stain bed sheets.

"But im just a bit worried that it wont be all she's anticipated if you get me"
Anticipation...foreplay is the anticipation, the build up of excitement.

Because you may be extra excited.. and may wish to last longer, you may think about the durex brand that make you last longer...can't think of the name...

Timewise...i'd say at most a half hour of foreplay plus anywhere from 1 to 20mins of sex(depends on you, level of excitement, and depends on type of condom).

Don't worry too much if the first time isn't perfect. As long as its fun thats all that matters. Sometimes it can be a case of practice make perfect. Good luck and enjoy

padser

Worried dub wrote: »

.I am looking for advice on how i can make the whole experience better for the both of us?

Sort through your spam box and find something to improve the equipment!

LadyJ

Tbh, the first time is rarely great for a woman because she doesn't yet know what she wants/likes. Ask her what feels good. It probably won't last very long though! The more you do it the longer you'll be able to last (hopefully!).

Chances are you'll be done before her so maybe you could use your tongue/fingers afterwards to help her reach orgasm. However, it's also an idea to engage in a lot of foreplay so that she might be able to orgasm more easily from sex.

How Strange

I agree with LadyJ, the first time for a girl is usually is a total anticlimax (no pun intended :rolleyes:)

Take it easy, play around a bit with each other before hand so you can relax, see what you both like, and talk about it so one or both of you aren't under pressure to preform like the writhing, moaning specimens we always see on tv.

The two of you will get it right very soon

Victor

padser wrote: »

Sort through your spam box and find something to improve the equipment!

Please read the Charter and post constructively.

Dragan

Hey OP,

you guys are actually pretty lucky. I don't doubt but that she is maybe thinking the same thing with regards to you.

Take things slow and easy, get to know each others little ticks and make sure you let each other know what good and whats not while the whole thing is happening.

To give you the other side of the coin to what most folk will say, the first time i had sex i didn't actually come at all.....or the second.......or the third...... my advice would be don't get hung up on anything you can't control and just let things happen as they do.

Don't get hung up on the first time because there are going to be a lot more times to follow!

Marksie

LadyJ wrote: »

Tbh, the first time is rarely great for a woman because she doesn't yet know what she wants/likes. Ask her what feels good. It probably won't last very long though! The more you do it the longer you'll be able to last (hopefully!).

Chances are you'll be done before her so maybe you could use your tongue/fingers afterwards to help her reach orgasm. However, it's also an idea to engage in a lot of foreplay so that she might be able to orgasm more easily from sex.

Oh i think posters may be able to help there ;-).

And kudos for actually taking the time to think of this rather than rushing to do the deed . That is going to make it special for a start

Mood setting and the right conditions are very important for making any lovemaking occasion special and more memorable.
Perhaps moreso as this is the first time for both of you.
So think about setting the room and making time for each other, ideally all night :-).
So that means if you are restricted to location, then get a hotel room, but personalise it. Take some scaRves or cloths and drape thehm over the sidelights they have to make the lighting more intimate. If you have aN ipod with speakers bring it in there and play soft sensual music, or really romantic stuff (Put a whole tracklist on repeat so you dont have to stop to change ;-)).
Take a bottle of win and glasses some food is great as well as you can feed each other and really build intimacy (plus it keeps your energy levels up). Juts make the thing entirely personal to the two of you.
If you are fortunate enough to have somewhere to stay then do the same.

Really go to town on it. candles and an oil burner are nice if you can use them.
Oh and the rose petals are a lovely idea as you can sprinkle them over each other.
Well as for how long??? Take the watch off and forget about that :-).

The anticipation and the promise of what is going to happen is excellent, thrilling and very exciting. you can begin even before you get to the bedroom, notes, texts all xcan get the passion rising.

Don't rush things let em go at there own pace and dont look to the penetration aspect but look to the whole thing as an experience. Brush up on massage technuiques for you both and take the time to really arouse each other that way.
Bathe together if you want to and juts connect to each other.

Lots and lots of kissing, lips and whole body, touching and stroking of each other. Non-geniotal initially and then genital. But dont rush it, juts let it take its course and allow her to becoime thoroughly aroused and even orgasmic. Dont think about the end poinmt but think about the NOW just that moment and the next moment following.
It doesn't matter how long this lasts, and you should explain this too her as she is likely to be nervous. So The "foreplay" (hate that word as it indicates it comes before something) can last for hours and hours, but really it up to uou two. But however long it does last you will find that your nervousness will decrease as you both reach the ecstatic state.

Now those who read my posts know i always talk about PC control and non-ejaculatory orgasms. Well this is your first time and well...that ain't going to happen :-).
I am guessing you are young and so your recovery time will be quite quick. So in your whiole body explorations, if she orgasms fine, if you orgasm fine let yourself. you will recover fast enough. Dont aim for the penetrative orgasm first.
As for the penetration..well. Take it very slowly and no hard thrusts. She should be aroused enough but take lubricant just in case.
Be aware at all times, both of the sensations you are having and what she is doing. Be prepared to stop if necessary before penetration and withdraw slightly. Neither should feel the need to press ahead.
Actually one way is to tease the opening but not enter, it accustoms her to the feel and also heightens anticipation. The aim is to have her yoni accept you in rather than you penetrating.
LOl i know it seems to be a lot to think about but if you are actually doing it you will be fine, the body will take over and all you need be aware of is slow slow
The same with starting moving. Pause a while to let her become accustaomed to what has happened and dont make the mistake of recallng all those porn movies. Keep it slow and rhythmic, slight thrusts but deep shallow and slow .
If you feel yourself building, relax your body and breath deep (the natural tendency is to clench and allow the breath to become rapid and shallow).
Again dont try to think of it too much. Go for the preparation beforehand and the total committment tio intimacy and arousal and everything will be fine.
It will be something to savour

Edit: i suppose that if I were to summarise my waffle. It would be to make everything an experience..the whole thing. So that the actual "first time" penetration is a teensy weensy part of it. In that way you will look back and say yeah..that was special

Ninja_scrotum

Gibbins123 wrote: »

Because you may be extra excited.. and may wish to last longer, you may think about the durex brand that make you last longer...can't think of the name...

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! I advise you not to get those "last longer" condoms!! They numb the tip of your knob, which makes sex boring and pointless. Why would anyone want to numb the tip of their knob? Do they wish it wasn't there?!!

Go for normal condoms (i hate condoms, but the best out of a bad bunch are the durex featherlite ones...)

Don't worry about not lasting too long. Nobody lasts long the first few times. Do a bit of foreplay for a while, touching and fingering and feeling etc... until she's pretty wet, and you're hard. Then throw a condom on. Or maybe get her to throw it on!!

I'm guessin the position you're gonna do it in is "missionary style", which means plain ol' you on top of yer girlfriend. Another easy enough position is if you put one foot on the ground, the other leg kneeling on the bed (you're kind of sitting up), and herself in pretty much the same position as missionary, maybe with her legs around you. Dunno if that description makes sense to you.... Don't break a leg (or nob!!) tryin this. For some reason this works very well for me. Especially because you get a great birds-eye view of everything.

Don't expect it to be all slo-mo and sparkly like the movies, cos it's not really. It's two humans doin tha primal thang, knowahmsayin? It's sweaty, your bed will get messy, you might bump heads off eachother...

Anyways, just enjoy it! The first time you put the hotdog in the bun... you will have an epiphany, like "ooohhhh woooow! THIS is what my knob was made for!"

Oh, and when you take the condom off when you're finished (woooo!)... hold all the love-juice in place with a pinch of your thumb n' forefinger and then take the johnny off. If you don't hold the sex-wee up there and just whip the condom off, it will go squirting all over the place, mayonnaise style.


Oh yeah, I'm guessing your gal's a virgin too, so go easy on her. Make sure she's wet & ready when you decide to park the beef bus in tuna town.

conzy

Post of the year ^

Feelgood

conzymaher wrote: »

Post of the year ^

Agreed.....Im gonna give that one to my kids as an instruction manual...:)

GrumPy

What a post, sorry marksie, this guy wins this round!!

And what a fantastic username for such a post

binhead

A HAHAHA that was spray tea out my nose funny!

Class.

Ninja_scrotum

Post of the year ^

Cheers

Im gonna give that one to my kids as an instruction manual...

I can do private classes with them if you want... :eek:

What a post, sorry marksie, this guy wins this round!!

Hey marksie, I'll handle sexual issues from now on OK?

A HAHAHA that was spray tea out my nose funny!

Sorry bout that!



Hey Worried Dub! Try a search on google for more information, it has tons!

Marksie

Ninja_scrotum wrote: »

Hey marksie, I'll handle sexual issues from now on OK?

No problem

HOTnerd

no ones first time is perfect! its not a big deal once its over, youll laugh about how much u worried bout it!
Just take it easy and dont rush in, and spend alot of time gettin her in the mood, os it may not be so easy!
It wont last long but the first times always a bit funny and embaresin so the sooner its over the better.
Then u can do it again properly, give yourself a break first tho.
be gentle
Hope this helps

Ninja_scrotum

I forgot to mention.... please please please do it in a bed, not in some damp field or behind a school or something.

You'll end up like "what was that?!! was that sex? it's kinda shit isn't it!"

I was lucky enough to be in a bed the first time. A lot of my mates lost their virginity in a damp field or behind a school!

They didn't enjoy it really, because they couldn't just lie there naked for hours afterwards and make cups of tea and be warm and comfortable play around and chat. They had to SCAT real quick before anyone came along, or before the rain got too heavy. So their first time was shit basically.

DO IT IN A BED!!!

eirebhoy

Worried dub wrote: »

And as strange as this question may sound...How long should i expect the whole process to last ?

Less than a minute if you're in any way normal. Since your first time is actually "planned" you could just do it again straight away. Just change the condom and keep yourself erect. The wobbly knee feeling should have left you by that time. We're all different though and I think a lot of men have difficulty staying erect for a 2nd time.

Goat Mouth

Ninja_scrotum wrote: »

DO IT IN A BED!!!

Aaaaah! No wonder i'm single...:rolleyes:


Well actually im not single, but it's be a funny line if i was...
I second this, do it in a bed. Theres literally more room to find eachother (if you know what i mean) comfortability is "somewhat" key after all

that's why ill be alright should i ever forget my first time, it was on a couch... a two seater coach, dont know if many of you have done this, but for those who have, i can garauntee the phrase
"Here... shufty over a bit, just need to get this... ah right, there we go, hows that for ya?"
is repeated... or something along those lines!!

McGinty

I think I'll continue to take sex lessons from Marksie, his linguistic verbosity has more appeal, sorry Ninja scrotum,

Op, I would say this to you, intimacy is the key to great sex, whether its genital or not. Personally I would advocate having a bath together to begin with, a lot of people would say no way it is too much but I say, if you can show and bring together your wibbly bits then you can both have a bath together. Having said that, having a bath is both intimate but also breaks boundaries and fear issues down. You both get to experience each others body without full sex, the act is intimate but not related to performance and everyone or most of us are terrificly performance related these days - hence the ****in terror.

Be aware this is your first time, you may come quickly, paradoxically your girlfriend may not come at all, but if you spend time on her body, she will come easier and faster. Using one of my experiences, I had a number of lovers, each were wham bam thank you mam, and at that time I had not orgamsned, then I met a great guy, he took his time with me, explored my body and I had my first orgasm, what I learned afterwards was he was a virgin, so never worry about experience it has no meaning, just be explorative regarding her body and the rest will fall into place. Best of luck op

Ninja_scrotum

I think I'll continue to take sex lessons from Marksie, his linguistic verbosity has more appeal, sorry Ninja scrotum

Well I'm guessing the OP is young and in his teens. So I'm not going to bore the shyte out of him by posting as if I was reading a biology book.

This is his first time, and he needs enthusiastic & encouraging replies.... like mine!

The posters that use appealing "linguistic verbosity" make sex sound as boring as a maths class zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Goat Mouth

Don't worry Ninja Scrotum, I quite enjoy your views and disposition in which you personify them! Very humourous indeed, which is almost exactly what sex can be like at times

Like this one drunken enterprise I had with a Lady of the night. We said near the end we have to copy eachothers sex faces... my god it was a laugh! Then I stole some of her knives and forks and went back to my tent!

Marksie

Goat Mouth: On Topic Please

Jeapy

Lol, all this romantic mood setting etc has me in tears! I can just hear the saxaphones ie Careless Whisper style !
IMO and from what I know from other girls...first time is pretty crap! As others said, do make sure its in a bed! Dont worry about types and brands of condoms, just make sure u use one and use it carefully!
I waited quite a while and was 100% in love with my bf when we decided to "do it"! I'll never forget it and we still laugh about the whole thing because it was awkward and didnt last very long! We're still together nearly 5 years later and it gets a hell of a lot better!
Try not to have big expectations, but do make it memorable. Oh, and good luck!