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Advise needed

  • 21-11-2007 3:48pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hey all just wondering if anyone has any advise on this...

    I recently found out from a third party that my ex girlfriend is pregnant (not by me but by her last on/off boyfriend) and she is planning to go to england to have an abortion. Now me and this girl have remained friends since we split nearly 6 years ago and both moved on with our lives and been happy for each other when in other relationships, but I know this girl 15 years and I just want to be able to help her out in whatever way I can. The thing is I cant tell her that I know she is pregnant or that she is going to have an abortion. Should I just keep out of it ? I know she will never want to tell me about it and that is fair enough, but I really do fear for her after she has it done.


Comments

  • #2
    MagicMarker
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 32,865 ✭✭✭✭MagicMarker


    There's nothing you can do and quite frankly it's not your problem. If she decides to confide in you all well and good. But until that happens just forget about it and move on with your life.

    Very noble of you though, fair play.


  • #3
    *Page*
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,811 ✭✭✭*Page*


    You could be honest with her and be there for her or say nothing and let her come to you if thats what she wants


  • #4
    LadyJ
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,122 ✭✭✭LadyJ


    Just be there for her if she needs you and be understanding. I wouldn't tell her you know tbh. She might not want to discuss it with you.

    Maybe you could just make more of an effort to hang out with her,plan nice things to do with/for her. Then you can be supportive without saying anything.


  • #5
    tbh
    Closed Accounts Posts: 15,914 ✭✭✭✭tbh


    it's none of your business. If she needs help, she'll ask you for it. But fair play.


  • #6
    l3LoWnA
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 890 ✭✭✭l3LoWnA


    Hi,

    I agree with the above, leave her to her own devices. Be there for her as you always have been but don't overcrowd her just because you're hoping she'll confide in you. This girl has a lot on her plate at the moment. I'm sure she's going through a hell of a lot hormonally and emotionally and if you get involved you may just add fuel to the fire.

    I know you're intentions are good and it must be horrible for you knowing this and being helpless. I believe whoever told you was extremely wrong in doing so and if I were you I'd get onto THAT person for deceiving this girl and ALSO for adding sh1t to your head that you can't even deal with! :mad: I'd be so p*ssed off.

    Be there for your ex if she wants you, but I wouldn't go telling her you know about it. Why not give her a normal text or call tonight just to ask how she's doin' etc. You'll know by her response if she feels she wants to talk or not.


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  • #7
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    thanks for the advise. I dont want to break the persons who told me's confidence so I'm not going to tell her that I know. I know that she has told her girl mates and they will be there for her but I just feel terrible about it as I know her family wont really be there for her through this, and I know it not my problem but she is a mate and has helped me in the past so just feel for her. There are ways I could help her after its done so I will just concentrate on making her life a bit easier I suppose.


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