Just a quick few

mickrourke

I've been away cause the last Taxi that took me out of here left me in the middle of Leitrim (paid for by Hagar, I suspect) and I had to buy a lift back to the big smoke from the natives by giving them Firewater,rifles and building a casino. But I'm back to torment you all.

A guy goes to the doctor and says, "doctor my leg keeps talking to me."
So the doctor takes out his stethoscope and listens to the guys thigh and he hears, "lend me a fiver!"
The doctor then takes a listen to the guys knee and hears, "Lend me a tenner!"
The doctor then takes a listen at the guys shin and hears, "Lend me twenty quid!"
"So what's the problem doctor?" the guy asks anxiously.
"It's your leg - it's broke in three places," says the doctor.

A little girl says to her mummy, "Mummy, you're getting really fat!" "Yes", replies mummy. "But remember, Mummy has a baby growing in her tummy." "I know that", says the little girl, "But whats growing in your a*se?"

This woman comes back home to find her husband in the kitchen with a fly swatter in his hand.
She asked him, 'Hey John, what are you doing?'
He replied,' What does it look like?, Killing Flies of course'
'Well how many did you kill?', she asked.
'5', he relpied, '3 males and 2 females'.
'How did you know if they were male or female?', she asked.
'Well', he replied, 'The 2 females were on the telephone and the 3 males were on the beer can'.

'Sorry, yes, it's the poncho on the right'
'Stagecoach!'

Mahatma coat

Its Alright mick, I've got you a 'Taxi' dont worry about yer coat its gonna be warm where you're going

mickrourke

Mahatma coat wrote: »

Its Alright mick, I've got you a 'Taxi' dont worry about yer coat its gonna be warm where you're going

Grand so, I'll go at night, that way it won't be hot

Oliverdog

Good 'uns Mick, specially the fly killing one.
I'm also going on the dark side of the moon for a few weeks but will be back. I'll be reading them not writing them, so be sure to keep to your present low standard.