What to do?

Bobby09

I'm a 19yr old student in Limerick, there's this girl in my year who's 22 who I really like. I've got some of my friends to try and suss out if she has a bf or is seeing anyone yet and afaik she doesn't.

Not that it's anything major but I'd really like to let her know how I feel about her. I think she knows that I like her but I can't be sure!! Also, same as most other lads I'm impossible at picking up on any signals that may be there!!

I was joking in a lecture the other day and one of my mates remarked that i'd a very childish sense of humour which he said is obvious because i'm a year or so younger than the rest, to which this girl replied "sure age is only a number"!! Which leads me to think there may be a slight thing there!? But as I said us lads are terrible at picking up things.

Basically my question is 'What would you do in my situation?' as my main concern is that if I have picked it up wrong and then tell her how I feel and its not mutual it may make a good friendship very awkward and would make me feel quite stupid!?

Anyone any help
??

Mushy

Jaysus, me giving advice, hopefully it'll be worthwhile for ya.

Firstly, be yourself anyway. Then at least she can make her own assumptions of what you're like.

It also comes across that she sits with you and some friends in lectures. Why not get a group of you to go out some night? See does she want to join ya? No harm in asking, and if she's already going out somewhere with other friends, ask where. Nothing wrong with that either, then just say you're thinking of heading there too. When out, have a laugh, see what the vibes are like. Dance around with her, have fun, dont lay anything on too heavily either, then see what happens.

I wont say this is perfect, but take it slowly. Good luck man, enjoy Limerick, great place to go out(Mollys...free in:D)

Spoony2

your situation ??

heres the situation your in collage there a girl you like, you dont know if she like s you but your getting people to find out if she's single which you know she is..

ask does she want to go for a coffee then see how that goe's then ask her a few dy later would she like to do something one evening.

personally id ask her to go do some sort of activity that creates a bit of body contact if you go to the cinema your not talking your watcing movie pictures thats not going to help you get any further, because there's no contact. The first date type thing you need create reasons to be in contact with each other.
So Ice skateing its winter now try go do that. or just something you can be talking gettting to no each other and have some fun but remeber go with the attudes of haveing fun and getting to know her the rest allways folows.

good luck

honru

You can't think for her. Right now you can decide to summon the courage to take her out, and show her what your life is like.

Kazobel

Just bite the bullet and ask her out, if anything I'm sure she'll be flattered (girls always are no matter who is asking). As Spoony said suggest coffee and just say "can I ask you a question?" she'll say yes and you just say "Look I really like you and was wondering if you'd like to go on a date?", I swear she'll love it and if she's not intrested she won't just tell you to f%^& off, not many girls get that kind of honesty and appreciate it when they do so if anything it'll make you better friends. I hope you try because in the end you'll regret it more if you don't and good luck, I really hope it works out

incorkfornow

Look, fact is most guys are idiots when it comes to women. Basically if you're dressed well and speak eloquently and have a bit of charm a situation will arise. If it doesn't then she's not for you, simple as. Plan, plot, do whatever these guys say and you're in for a big disappointment. Asking someone out when they don't know you that well is a mistake. For most people the first step isn't a date but some kind of social situation where you both get off with each other ie a pub. After that you can consider some kind of relationship, but its suicide to ask for these things.

Let them come to you.

Kazobel

incorkfornow wrote: »

Look, fact is most guys are idiots when it comes to women. Basically if you're dressed well and speak eloquently and have a bit of charm a situation will arise. If it doesn't then she's not for you, simple as. Plan, plot, do whatever these guys say and you're in for a big disappointment. Asking someone out when they don't know you that well is a mistake. For most people the first step isn't a date but some kind of social situation where you both get off with each other ie a pub. After that you can consider some kind of relationship, but its suicide to ask for these things.

Let them come to you.

And is that experience or just opinion? because I know for sure that girls respect honesty and if he's honest she won't be bad. All the advice that has been given here has been really good advice so don't try to circumvent that, what we said will work whereas what you are saying is just accept defeat and assume the worst. How could he get anywhere if he goes in with that attitude?

Bobby09

Cheers for all the advice, well some of it more than others;)

Will try over the next few days or so...

Fingers crossed...

incorkfornow

Kazobel wrote: »

And is that experience or just opinion? because I know for sure that girls respect honesty and if he's honest she won't be bad. All the advice that has been given here has been really good advice so don't try to circumvent that, what we said will work whereas what you are saying is just accept defeat and assume the worst. How could he get anywhere if he goes in with that attitude?

Thats from experience. If someone doesn't like you, move on. If somebody likes you, they will let you know. And its not like there aren't more women out there either. I would give different advice if he knew her really well and loved her for exactly who she was, but the fact is he clearly doesn't know her that well.

"Look I really like you and was wondering if you'd like to go on a date?"

Sounds like a mouthful to me. Words like 'wondering' and 'look...' make you seem weak. Be polite, and charming, but make a statement. Just say 'we should get coffee on tuesday after the lecture' or some other convenient time. It won't give her any expectations but it will be in itself unexpected, and she can get to know you before jumping into awkward first date territory.

Confidence is pretty much everything, sometimes even arrogance works, but to give him the advice of copying something someone else did lacks creativity and will make him nervous of the outcome.

So dude, be confident, like who you are, make yourself presentable and you'll be grand, don't try to orchestrate situations unless it comes naturally to both you and the other person.

As for honesty, girls like honesty. But not blatant and readable honesty. You've got to remain mysterious for a while so they take an interest. Sure, tell her you like her- but make it a big deal and it will make you and her nervous.

Good luck!

pilot1087

OP, thats a tough situation your in but everyone has been there at on stage or another. The fear of rejection has stopped many a man in his tracks...

Like a few have said above you should try an ask her out preferably not to the cinema as it can be a bit weird not being able to take. There a lots of good places to go in the Limerick area. Class outing are always a good way to go, informal and everyone is usually up for a laugh. If she isn't the type to attend all the class parties (maybe drinking isn't her thing) you could always try some ice-skating or something.. not sure if theres a rink down there.

It sounds like she likes you from what you said... or maybe she is just being friendly. But the only way you will find out is if you summon the courage and grow yourself some confidence... otherwise I am sure your friends will grow sick of listening to you going on about it and end up not caring anymore