so ugly...

LegacyUser

im male, 24, and utterly depressed at the moment over my looks.
I just have no confidence in myself because of how i look.
Its all really related to my skin. i had terrible acne when i was a teen, now its moderate but still bad.
I've been using creams for it but that doenst help much and tends to cause wrinkles, leaving me looking about 35 already.
Im not fat, in fact i have a good healthy muscular body other than that. i thought training& good diet would help my skin. well no it hasnt. I eat the best diet of anyone i know and still im just hideous.

I know this is just a temporary low, becuase i was happy enough up til recently. Scoring regularly-ish.
I suppose this is just me feeling self-pity, and i should grow up and be a man. But i cant. i use the self pity thing a lot, and withdraw into myself. i dont know why? But i just feel like sh1t now, and feel like no-one would ever want me. How girly am i eh?

I dont even know why im posting this, because i dont think there's anything i can do, or anyone else can do. I've been like this so long i just cant see myself changing. I do get on a high every now and again when my skin clears up. Life is good then. But the crippling lows come back again, and the hoodies come out, and no eye contact with anyone especially girls.

How can i break this cycle and be happy with who i am regardless what face looks at me in the mirro in the morning.

Reading that "beauty and the beast" thread really brought all this home, about how hideous i must look. Imagine what Miss donegal would say to me if i tried chatting her up. i mean my skin is so bad. Plus im not the nicest, funniest guy in the world. i remember a time when i used to be very outgoing, when i started secondary school, i loved talking to people. But its been sucked out of me now. Thats probably just an excuse. But its hard to be out going when you're breaking out all over. And when you get the usual comments and maybe "well meaning" slags from your mates. That almost kills me.

Sorry for the long self piteous rant, but im just very down at the moment and dont have anyone to talk to really

LegacyUser

The old creams and that dont really work for acne.
Go to the doctor and he will give you a prescription for antibiotics.
Clear it up in 3-4 weeks and cost around €20.

Atargatis

have you talked to your gp? prescription low dose antibiotics and a prescription topical cream can really turn the tables on acne. gps deal with acne complaints all the time and should look after you. there are stronger treatments available as well, but your gp can advise you on those. over the counter acne creams can be very harsh on the skin, i've found that anyway.

if you have scarring, these are difficult to get rid of and most people just have to wait it out for them to fade.

the hero game

hey there, sorry you're feeling like that.. i think i said to someone else on a thread that i would be really strongly attracted to a lot of girls other guys would just turn their nose up at or have no opinion about atall, and i'm sure it works like that for girls too (anyone like to confirm this please?? ).. there are definitely women out there who find u v. attractive, more than u'd realise, it's just a question of noticing and having some luck..
in terms of skincare, there is a brilliant pharmacy on thomas st. called foleys who make their own creams and they pretty much cured my problems with psoriasis.. now i was lucky that i had it mild and not on my face or anything.. and i think they deal w. creams primarily for that condition, but if u'r in dublin it would be worth a consultation..
doctors are pretty crap when i comes to skin as i'm sure u know..
and everyone gets withdrawn as less social as they move through their 20s.. u seem to be aware that u have plenty to offer & there's no harm in being more reflective and self-aware.. so try to foster the confidence it seems u naturally have and that will shine through..

Atargatis

the hero game wrote: »

doctors are pretty crap when i comes to skin as i'm sure u know..

Kind of a sweeping statement, especially when you haven't been treated for acne.

LegacyUser

Hi there. Have never replied before but I couldn't help it when I read your post. I totally understand where you're coming from having suffered from acne since I was 12 (now 27). I had tried all the lotions and potions under the sun as well as anti-biotics for this condition. It came and went. However, about a year ago it flared up really badly after a long term relationship split up and already with low self esteem, the flare up of acne definately didn't help! I went to my GP again and was then referred to a dermatologist. I have been taking a drug called Roaccutane for the last 6 months and will be finished my prescription in a week and a half and not a spot in sight!!!!! It's a fairly heavy drug but for the sake of 6 months, it really really really really is worth it! I feel like a new person and my confidence levels are fantastic!!!! Maybe make an appointment again with your GP and ask about it. Chin up

the hero game

yeah sorry, but they diagnosed creams for my psoriasis that made it worse, it was really annoying til i heard of that pharmacy.. i wasn't aware of the antibiotic option as above so i take it back!.. cheers

jackhammer

Sorry to hear about your problem.

I think you should ask your GP to refer you to a dermatologist.

Cabaal

Atargatis wrote: »

Kind of a sweeping statement, especially when you haven't been treated for acne.

Agreed on the sweeping statement part, there's plenty doctors can do for people with acne, and in fairness what you can get for acne from doctors on prescription is a hellll of alot better then any standard over the counter crap you'll get the supermarket imho

This is talking from experience,

OP, acne ain't fun but try not to let you get you down you'll be fine and your skin will improve

Dizzyblonde

Definitely go to your doctor and try antibiotics, and stop being so hard on yourself. Your acne mightn't even be as bad as you think but if you get it under control it will help you get your confdence back.
Lots of girls find confidence and a sense of humour more attractive than a pretty face you know. If only the most physically attractive people could score there'd be a lot of lonely people around!!

LegacyUser

Thanks for the replies ppl.

I've been to lots of them and ended up back on Roaccutane. Im never going on that stuff again. How ever bad i am now, when i was on that stuff, i was very close to the end. Never again. Antibiotics never helped even a bit. At the moment i get decent results from Benxoyal Peroxide. Believe me ive done everything possible to sort myself out.

What i would love though is to be happy regardles of how i look. Is that possible?
i actually think im more obsessed with looks than Miss Donegal, in the opposite way. i judge myself on my looks. i feel like a bad, dirty, inferior person when i have bad skin. It makes me feel like a loser, like scum, a leper or something.

And the worst thing is that most of it is probably in my head. Sometimes i do get girls coming up to me and i do score regularly enough and recently. Its this damn self pity thing. I look for it and play on it. i dont know why

LegacyUser

Thanks dizzy,
unfortunately confidence and good looks go hand in hand a lot.
and cystic acne and confidence unfortunately dont...

My body is beat up and scarred, my face is pockmarked, twisted, wrinkled destroyed.
My confidence left a long time ago

Dizzyblonde

Would you consider counselling then? It might help you to be more accepting of yourself.

LegacyUser

Doctors know jack s*it when it comes to skin, their answer is always "Anti-Biotics"
I had AWFUL acne when i was younger and nothing worked.

Girlfriend is a homeopathist, which tbh i thought was total voodoo.

But it worked, i had these massive spots i used to get on the back of my neck, two weekend of silica once a day and they cleared right up !

I'd explore other options, at least go to a specialist, ask your GP to refer you to a dermatologist, GP's are just that.. General Practitioners.

MagicMarker

werqq wrote: »

I know this is just a temporary low, becuase i was happy enough up til recently. Scoring regularly-ish.

I think your problem is in your head, rather than on your face. This sentence alone proves that the women don't mind, so you shouldn't either. I think you should maybe focus on feeling better about yourself rather than trying to turn around physical imperfections. By all means, seek medical treatment, but not only medical treatment.

Hrududu

Lots of girls find confidence and a sense of humour more attractive than a pretty face you know.

I know the above might sound like a cliche but I promise you it's true.

SpAcEd OuT

come on man pull yourself together lots of my 'less attractive' mates pull quite regularly because of how they carry themselves.

In fact the other night one of my completely overweight mates actually stole a bird from one of my mates who worked as a model for abercrombie for 4 months when he lived in America. so there u go

Overheal

weight has not as much to do with it as you think you know. I mean, look at the other side: theres not one perceivably 'unfit' girl you dont have the hots for? I could think of several

are you saying you dont see what you perceive as less attractive people in relationships around you? Their not all paying for escort services you know.

Seriously man; I was out just last night with my double chin and thunderbelly and got approached by a couple girls... if i were in a better mood i would have known what to say of course :rolleyes: now that I think about it.

what works honestly is the confidence and the humour: when you can go out and be comfortable in your skin and be happy and outgoing it will click in eventually. Follow that (not that it should feel like a formula) and let it take a little time. Dont get downtrodden if it doesnt work the first couple times.