Best way to approach women when out?

Swindon

this has prob been done 20 fold but see this girl around alot id love to get chatting to her,any opinions?

Latchy

A nice friendly smile can work wonders and it can somtimes say more than any words can .:)

TheJoker

latchyco wrote: »

A nice friendly smile can work wonders and it can somtimes say more than any words can .:)

Agreed. Eye contact and a smile.

Just make sure there is no food stuck in your teeth, and the smile isn't something Jack Nicholson as the Joker would be proud of! a.k.a this ->

Latchy

TheJoker wrote: »

Agreed. Eye contact and a smile.

Just make sure there is no food stuck in your teeth, and the smile isn't something Jack Nicholson as the Joker would be proud of! a.k.a this ->

LOL , yes and if you look anything like george clooney or olando bloom yer laughing .....:D

LegacyUser

Definitely agree with nice smile, eye contact etc.......
However don't be slimy. Don't use chat up lines either. And try not to be obviously 'chatting someone up' either if you know what I mean! As in fake cliched compliments taht need to be over and done with befor you can score! I find it really off putting anyway! Just try and be natural and make a joke or something and don't act too desperate.

Reku

adviceqwerty wrote: »

Definitely agree with nice smile, eye contact etc.......
However don't be slimy. Don't use chat up lines either. And try not to be obviously 'chatting someone up' either if you know what I mean! As in fake cliched compliments taht need to be over and done with befor you can score! I find it really off putting anyway! Just try and be natural and make a joke or something and don't act too desperate.

Actually the chat up lines thing varies, some women dispise them, others say that they absolutely love really cheesy chat up lines, guess it must be the ego boost or something as I've noticed that all the ones to say this to me so far have been the same ones who really worry about what others think of their body....
But the only way to get to know which she prefers is to get to know her a little so best to probably leave them out in this instance.

karen3212

I agree with the smile and eyecontact.

Then it depends where you see her around. If you pass each other on the street, start with hello as you pass.

Then you'll have to find a way of slowing her down so you can make conversation with her, the weather is always handy. Give something a go, you can only suceed or fail. And remember in 100 years time, nobody will remember if you do fail. good luck

Lux23

Do it fairly sober, don't go slobbering up to some girl at the end of the night!!

If she makes eye contact with you or smiles than that is an invitation to talk to her, if she is not interested she will probably not do that.

Idbatterim

best way to approach a woman? just go up to her and say "Excuse me but are you wearing any knickers" when she says yes, just say "oh my watch must be an hour fast!" Works 2.3% of the time, every time!

SpAcEd OuT

dont agree with this smile and eye contact bull****, make sure you have a reason to talk to her about something [i.e dont go up and say 'beautiful day isnt it hi im steve] and then when you do have a reason to initiate conversation take advantage of it. To be honest most people on the internet giving advice on how to approach women probably have no idea what they are talking about.

dont smile at her and stare directly into her eyes whenever you see her thats just weird and I never understood why people always suggested it

sobriquet

SpAcEd OuT wrote: »

To be honest most people on the internet giving advice on how to approach women probably have no idea what they are talking about.

Ironic, no...?

SpAcEd OuT wrote: »

dont smile at her and stare directly into her eyes whenever you see her thats just weird and I never understood why people always suggested it

Disagree completely. It's eye contact, not staring; they're not the same thing.

You see a girl you like. Make eye contact. You don't need to stare, just make eye contact, and see if she holds your gaze. If she doesn't you can try again or not bother at all. Don't do it repeatedly however. If she does, hold it for a second then break it. If she will repeatedly (as in once or twice, not all bloody night) maintain some eye contact and not look past you, then approach her. If you can think of something to say great, if not, feel free to resort to default. No chat up lines. "So you having a good night?" in a nightclub is fine, as is "It's getting cold these days eh" etc at other times. After that it's normal conversation - what you'd discuss with any stranger you happened to be in conversation with.

If she's attracted to you, you can be forgiven a lame introductory line. SpAcEd OuT is right on one thing - having some topics to discuss will help, but if you're going to wait until a reason to talk to her crops up, you could be waiting forever. Don't bother. If you pay attention it's possible to tell if they fancy you (to a rough approximation) and just go ahead and do it. You face rejection, but hey, nothing ventured nothing gained. Nothing's guaranteed to work but that's just the way it goes.

Overheal

Ugh I had this problem last night now im kicking myself a bit 2 girls came up to me(!) and introduced themselves and you think 'oh ho yes the battle is won' but then NO. Why? Cos you cant think of what to say next!!! what a cruel world.... ah the first one was pretty the second one was simply a nut (those funny nuts that make good friends) but UGH I just didnt know what to say! I suppose I couldve tried oh what course are you doing but then I have to say im in Games Development which is never, ever a pickup line

Damn me.

Latchy

Originally Posted by SpAcEd OuT
To be honest most people on the internet giving advice on how to approach women probably have no idea what they are talking about.

Most people ? of which you are one . There is no A-Z to approaching males/females , everybody has to find what works best for them ,trial and error most of the time .Has it occured to you people are responding to OP as in their own expierences ? Ironic indeed .

SpAcEd OuT

sobriquet wrote: »

Ironic, no...?

No as I said 'most' people I'm one of the few that are the exception

sobriquet wrote: »

Disagree completely. It's eye contact, not staring; they're not the same thing.

Personally I think making eye contact with a stranger every time you pass them is a bit weird and besides its not like making eye contact when you walk by her is going to progress anything shes not going to just go ''Oh isn't that nice he makes eye contact I'll have to invite him for a drink''

Anyways I reckon just let it go if it happens it happens if you have the opportunity or grow a pair and go for it yourself then great but don't start plotting to get her [First the eye contact, then the smile, then the nod, then small convo, then invite to drink etc.] because that it what desperate people do and your not desperate, some girls will see right away what your doing and will be instantly turned off.

sobriquet

SpAcEd OuT wrote: »

No as I said 'most' people I'm one of the few that are the exception

Somehow I thought that'd be the answer...

SpAcEd OuT wrote: »

Personally I think making eye contact with a stranger every time you pass them is a bit weird and besides its not like making eye contact when you walk by her is going to progress anything shes not going to just go ''Oh isn't that nice he makes eye contact I'll have to invite him for a drink''

Eh, you want to approach someone. You can either not make eye contact, in which case they'll be defensive because they don't know you and you caught them off guard; or you can make eye contact and try to see if they won't mind. A short shared gaze carries a lot of information. And few women will ask you for a drink, if that's your aim you're on to a losing proposition from the start.

SpAcEd OuT wrote: »

Anyways I reckon just let it go if it happens it happens if you have the opportunity or grow a pair and go for it yourself then great but don't start plotting to get her [First the eye contact, then the smile, then the nod, then small convo, then invite to drink etc.] because that it what desperate people do and your not desperate, some girls will see right away what your doing and will be instantly turned off.

<-- Congratulations, I have never, ever, used that emoticon on any forum before. What you're advocating is astrology. If the planets line up, if it happens it happens... Anyways, growing a pair and going for it? What else could that entail but walking up to her, making eye contact (ie, you don't stare at the ground) and introducing yourself and starting a conversation? That's not plotting, it's how two people who don't know each other interact for the first time. And desperate? You really think so? Look, here's another one: - two in one go, that's some achievement. Going to chat to someone isn't desperate; and neither is it passive, which 'just let it go and see if the stars align' is. I don't know many women who find passiveness in men attractive, tbh.

SpAcEd OuT

sobriquet wrote: »

<-- Congratulations, I have never, ever, used that emoticon on any forum before. What you're advocating is astrology. If the planets line up, if it happens it happens... Anyways, growing a pair and going for it? What else could that entail but walking up to her, making eye contact (ie, you don't stare at the ground) and introducing yourself and starting a conversation? That's not plotting, it's how two people who don't know each other interact for the first time. And desperate? You really think so? Look, here's another one: - two in one go, that's some achievement. Going to chat to someone isn't desperate; and neither is it passive, which 'just let it go and see if the stars align' is. I don't know many women who find passiveness in men attractive, tbh.

What I am saying is it's a bit desperate to come onto the internet and ask people how one should approach a girl trying to piece together a plan on how to approach her.

I said if you aren't going to be brave enough to approach her straight out then your going to have to wait for an opportunity but don't start bit by bit, you either jump straight in or you wait.

Oh and im not saying look at the ground when you do actually talk to her of course you make eye contact then but I personally just find it weird making eye contact with a stranger every time you pass them theres this old man that always stares me in the eye whenever I pass him going to the shops and it scares me but then again maybe I should be nice he might be in the OPs situation with me

sobriquet

SpAcEd OuT wrote: »

I said if you aren't going to be brave enough to approach her straight out then your going to have to wait for an opportunity but don't start bit by bit, you either jump straight in or you wait.

Ok, fair enough, that's clearer. I still disagree though, there's plenty of room for simply making eye contact and letting someone know you exist and that you certainly know they exist. I don't think anyone's advocating a hierarchical approach, that you progress from one to the other slowly, but in plenty of situations it might not be possible to simply stop someone for a chat; you can still communicate something to them and see if they reciprocate. If that's there, there's a much higher chance you're successful when you do strike up a conversation.

Simply going balls out and chatting up any woman you find attractive ends up a numbers game, you've no idea beforehand whether they'll welcome it.

cudman

you didnt give details of where you see her so its hard to give advice, but ill try.
"accidentally" get in her way and say oopsy, sorry about that. next time you see her just kind of acknowledge that you remember her (you do need eye contact for this) and a smile probably would go down well. After a couple of occasions like this make an excuse to chat. next thing you know you are lying in bed lighting up a fag and shes making you a cup of tea.:)

LegacyUser

cudman wrote: »

you didnt give details of where you see her so its hard to give advice, but ill try.
"accidentally" get in her way and say oopsy, sorry about that. next time you see her just kind of acknowledge that you remember her (you do need eye contact for this) and a smile probably would go down well. After a couple of occasions like this make an excuse to chat. next thing you know you are lying in bed lighting up a fag and shes making you a cup of tea.:)

I have the same problem...i wonder which is the right excuse to chat???
I don't want to use a stupid chat-up-line and sound cheesy....

yesterday night i made eye contact with a gorgeous girl, she even smiled me back, so i spent all the night thinking which excuse i could use to break the ice...
"hi, are u having fun?" too stupid, "do u like this place?" too boring, "you have beautiful eyes" true but cheesy, "hi, i can't stop to look at u, i need to know u or i will regret about it tomorrow" ditto....
so at the end she left and i felt so stupid!!!

hey girls, please give me few suggestions!!!
lux23 u sound pretty cool, just tell me what works and what doesn't

mawk

im pretty sure that if you just do the exact opposite of what i did last week you'll be fine

---

me* sitting outside café finishing coffee
attractive french girl (afg):hi can i sit and have a cup of coffee with you?
me: oh, im finished. i was about to go
afg: oh.. well i could buy you another cup
me: oh no thank you ive had enough. bye
afg: oh... ok.. bye

---

i swear to god i made to ten minutes later before it sunk in..:eek:

Petey2006

mawk wrote: »

im pretty sure that if you just do the exact opposite of what i did last week you'll be fine

---

me* sitting outside café finishing coffee
attractive french girl (afg):hi can i sit and have a cup of coffee with you?
me: oh, im finished. i was about to go
afg: oh.. well i could buy you another cup
me: oh no thank you ive had enough. bye
afg: oh... ok.. bye

---

i swear to god i made to ten minutes later before it sunk in..:eek:

LOL! Did that actually happen?! Funny stuff! Although I did something similar years ago. It's true what they say... we fellas are absolutely oblivious to women attempting to chat us up!

kowloon

A particularly good looking girl approached me in a pub in town (a good while back), i assumed she was taking the piss and went back to my pint (Do you ask people to dance in a rock bar?).

I think i have bad karma now because of that.

Shellie13

"hi are you enjoying your night"

see how it progresses.


avoid chatup lines unless you think u can do it very humorusly and get a laugh out of her (even still alot of girls wont appreciate it)

If your REALLY shy maybe bring 2 "wingmen" and the three of you can head over to her group and just chat- having two avoids you looking like a c*** for abandoning your mate if something happens!

coolhandc

mawk wrote: »

im pretty sure that if you just do the exact opposite of what i did last week you'll be fine

---

me* sitting outside café finishing coffee
attractive french girl (afg):hi can i sit and have a cup of coffee with you?
me: oh, im finished. i was about to go
afg: oh.. well i could buy you another cup
me: oh no thank you ive had enough. bye
afg: oh... ok.. bye

---

i swear to god i made to ten minutes later before it sunk in..:eek:

lol!harry do you realise what you just done!!!
im sorry about my friend,hes a little mistaken,iowa is that way!