Depressed after job loss & more

Stevecw

Feeling very down these days. The main reason for this is i find myself unemployed. Worst part is, its all my fault....a stupid decision to leave a job i enjoyed has led to this.

Im 29, have a degree in business, was working in AIB for 5 years....grand handy job, i loved it, but bad money. Moved on to a big stockbrokers....good money..on a very small team just me & a 51 year old who bored me to tears. But money was good, job was handy....i should have stayed where i was. But stupidly after a year i decided to have a look, see what was out there. I was after a bigger team, maybe better money. Anyway I got a job in a fund accounting company, team of 6, better money...i thought i was sorted.

But turns out it was a horrible place to work...overtime every night til about 6.45/7pm without being paid for it. Atmosphere horrible...everyone in there looked like they hated their job. They worked thru lunch etc.....i just knew it wasn't for me. I cud have stuck it out for a couple of months, but i said id cut my losses and just leave. Thought it wudnt look so bad on the CV.

So for the last month ive been at about 10 recruitment co's in Dublin. Only got 1 interview so far, which seems odd. Surely i should have got more...but i reckon once they hear i left my job after 2 weeks they lose interest. Its really getting to me, i feel so frustrated & depressed about things. I mean ive got a degree, ive 6 years work behind me....but i feel like ive no hope of getting anything.

Looks like i'll be going on the dole, which is a terrible situation to be in. Im from Carlow, but im staying in Dublin in the hope of a call for interview. Most nights now, i just find myself sitting at home in my room drinking to take my mind off things. I have no idea where i'll get work, im getting far to dependent on the drink to get me out of my reality. Its a vicious circle, and because i feel so so down these days i dunno what i should do. I feel like im depressed as i wake each morning and cant believe the situation im in now. I just find myself crying alone at where i am now.

Also if things weren't bad enough, i am painfully shy, so even when i get interview i normally dont come across too well. Thats why i think i faild the 1 interview i had so far, i was very qualified for the role.....but i just cant ever get that across.

I have more issues with friends & relationships...but i'll spare you all them for now.

But overall i just feel so so low & wondering where i go from here, or what the hell i do?

Any advice would be brilliant, thanks for reading all this.

The Sweeper

Stevecw it's only been a month. Don't be too disheartened.

1) Don't tell any prospective employers or recruitment companies that you worked for the fund accounting company. Leave it off your CV completely. Look, I wouldn't recommend you lie to a recruitment agent and tell them you're expert at something you're not, but telling them you left a job after a fortnight is offputting for a recruiter. It's something they don't need to know.

2) If you have any cash, take a trip somewhere. Take six weeks or two months or longer and do a bit of travelling. This will perk you up, and also give you an excuse when you come around to applying for jobs again as to why you left your stockbrokers job after a year - you left to travel. Career breaks are seen as healthy and constructive and employers perceive them as contributing to 'well balanced' people.

If you don't want to travel, you absolutely need to not sit and stagnate. Register with a temping agency and do something mind numbing for a while - even data entry - while you're job hunting. It will get you out of the house every day and provide you with beer money. Plus you'll meet new people and you'll be forced into new situations, which will help bring you out of your shell a little.

You have a degree and six years of work experience, five years of which are in one place, which mean's your not a job-hopper YET and you're VERY employable. This is just a bump in the road - don't let it become an insurmountable mountain.

Marksie

Well interview technique can be learned and there are, for example, enough books out there on how to do them. Generally interviewers will ask open questions.
You will have an idea what the job is about so make sure to listen to what they ask and then make sure you give them the points in your CV.

There is also the WOW factor that comes with interviews. So practice open upright stance and looking in a mirror, addressing the person talking. Look at how you sit.
You have to convince yourself that you are the person for teh job first. That is tha hard part.
OK so you failed that interview, where did you go wrong, look at what questions were asked and how would you answer them better next time? use it as a learning curve.

What you have done in the past in leaving your job, cannot be undone, do not dwell on it.

Go back to the recruitemnt companies and ASK them why you are not having any success. Ask them if there is a problem with your CV as that is what initially will be used to attract the employer.
You are guessing as to why they aren't giving an interview..you ar assuming that its because you were only there two weeks.

Now If you think that staying 2 weeks is going to hamper you getting interviews, well, you arent asking them for a refrence and two weeks is not a large gap.
Drop it from the CV, it hardly counts anyways.

When i apply for jobs I had one short standard CV and a covering letter. The covering letter changed to fit the specs. If necessary, alter the CV slightly for a particular job to highlight what they say in their advertisement

Dont hit the drink it wont do you any good, and get out of the house, go for a walk, clear your head.

And your raltionship problems were?

EDIT: And MAJD post was excellent and a good point was made there. Dont put stuff in your CV you cannot stand over or have limited experience in. I asked one candidate about it and it became very obvious from the uncomfortable silence that followed she hadn't got he foggiest

It took me from July til now to find a job of my own and months to even get interviews, but once I started, there were lots of interviews. So practice your interviewing in a mirror or with friends and don't worry yet!

Stevecw

I know its only a month, but after working for 6 years it seems like a lifetime.
I can leave it off CV, but my P45 has the company i left last on it sadly, so i have to try explain it at interviews.
I told the recriutment agencies to explain my situation to any possible employers, so im clear from day 1.
It just doesnt seem to be working....i mean i made 1 little mistake leavin my good job for 1 that didnt work, its an easy mistake surely, but i didnt think it'd be this hard to get something else.

As for relationships...well its not as serious just that my shyness & the fact that im not the best looking guy going means i havent had a steady gf in about 2 years which doesnt help matters. And these days most of my friends are buying houses/getting married....i just feel left way behind.

I didnt mind so much, while i was working, but these 4 empty weeks just highlight how crap my life is right now. I just feel so useless & down especially once ive hit a month without work.....and im sure im suffering from some form of depression as i can barely face getting out of bed in the morning. When ive no work to get up for, i just feel worthless & then when a recruiter rings and says "your experience was not what they were after", it just makes things so much worse.

Sorry im so down, but ive just somehow ended up in a bad place right now.

MagicMarker

Take that job off your CV. Don't worry about your P45 and what that says, no one will notice. It was only two weeks and it doesn't need to be on your CV!

ciano6

definitely take those two weeks of your CV. And try not to drink so much. I'm afraid you end up paying in the longterm for the short-term comfort that drink may appear to give.

The Sweeper

Stevecw wrote:

I know its only a month, but after working for 6 years it seems like a lifetime.

That's why I think you should just go temping. A lot of blokes seem to assume that temping is "woman's work", but it's really not. It's something you can do that pays basic bills and keeps you occupied, and it means you don't have to work in hospitality if you don't want to.

Stevecw wrote:

I can leave it off CV, but my P45 has the company i left last on it sadly, so i have to try explain it at interviews.

No, you don't. You don't bring your P45 to an interview. Call the tax office and ask them if you can get a P45 with few details on it - because I know you can get one without your last salary on it.

Stevecw wrote:

I told the recriutment agencies to explain my situation to any possible employers, so im clear from day 1.

Or alternatively you're putting them off from day one. They don't need to know.

Stevecw wrote:

It just doesnt seem to be working....i mean i made 1 little mistake leavin my good job for 1 that didnt work, its an easy mistake surely, but i didnt think it'd be this hard to get something else.

You're making too much of this. You seem to have gone with a bit of a recruitment 'blitz' - 10 agencies, a bunch of jobs, no outcomes.

Take a step back.

First, most recruitment agents work on commission. They don't work as hard to get you a job if they know you're with a bunch of other agents - sure why would they. (I've always recommended to people who are temping to join a different agency for a full time job - I was always suspicious that an agency who had a good temp might not want to lose them to a full time job if they were making lots of money out of them temping.) Join a single agency and look for a job through them.

Focus specifically on the position you want, and then start looking at some companies. Revamp your CV and your cover letter, and as Mark says, tailor them to each job you apply for. And GIVE IT TIME. It can take months to find a new job - and look at the positive aspect, if you're temping or in casual work you can start a new job immediately, which is a selling point for you. No one month or three month notice period for you, you're ready on Monday.

Stevecw wrote:

As for relationships...well its not as serious just that my shyness & the fact that im not the best looking guy going means i havent had a steady gf in about 2 years which doesnt help matters. And these days most of my friends are buying houses/getting married....i just feel left way behind.

Ah now this one I know by heart. I think it was the University of London who conducted a study of money as a motivator in work, only to find that people are not actually motivated by money in their jobs. They can be seriously upset and unmotivated if they feel they are not getting enough money, but the biggest indicator of how they feel about their cash intake is how they feel about the person who sits beside them and what THAT person gets paid.

Stop comparing yourself to other people. Watching what your friends have will just leave you unmotivated and upset. For all you know a bunch of your married with kids and houses mates could be looking at you and seething with envy at the freedom you have in your life.

You are going to have to force yourself to think positively about what IS working in your life, and stop convincing yourself you have no future and everything is too difficult. You can be depressed, and snap yourself out of it, and that's very different to suffering from depression and being unable to help yourself.

If you're still able to help yourself, you need to start by quitting with the drinking and the maudlin evenings of lonely self-flagellation.

Beruthiel

Stevecw wrote: »

I know its only a month, but after working for 6 years it seems like a lifetime.

Through no fault of my own, on two different occasions, I found myself out of a job. Panic stations for someone with a mortgage in dublin.
Both times I found a job within two months. Hounding recruitment agencies, sending CV's to companies I'd like to work for, looking up papers, net, whatever it takes.

I can leave it off CV, but my P45 has the company i left last on it sadly, so i have to try explain it at interviews.

Part of my job now is the wages department, most people drop up their P45 in an envelope to us, the ones that are given to the managers are dropped up unopened.
Most managers won't bother their asses opening and looking, it's a P45, they have more important things to be doing with their time.
By the time yours arrives in the office, you've already got the job. This will make no difference, don't give it a second thought.

And these days most of my friends are buying houses/getting married....i just feel left way behind.

Life is not a race, the only person you need to hold up for inspection is yourself. So what if they are married, who says they are happy or they won't be divorced in 5 years.
Don't look at others and think they have perfect lives, there's no such thing.
Look at yourself, make life perfect for you, that's all that counts, as long as you are happy in whatever it is that you like to do, it's the only thing that matters.

I just feel so useless & down especially once ive hit a month without work.....

I remember that feeling, you're worried and stressed about getting a job.
Put the head down and work through one day at a time till you get what you want. After that things will pick up.

chakotha

Don't worry about the P45.

Tell them you cannot locate it and call Revenue and ask them for a temporary tax credits cert and ride out the year on that. You can send in your P60 after year end and they will do a balancing statement and refund any extra tax paid.

New Year is coming up anyway so the P45 will not count after that.