Housework

LegacyUser

I am married and wondering how other married couples tackle the housework, I can only get my hubby to hoover and dust every second weekend as I do the other, but he wont wash the tiles in kitchen, bath rooms etc, he thinks by hoovering and dusting its enough, he does the odd washing machine load, but I really feel like I'm doing more than him as we both work long hrs, no kids, just 2 dogs.........................I was thinking of gettting a housekeeper but we live in a small town in Meath so its unlikely there are any gud housekeepers.....

So my question is how do couples deal with who does what housework.......

Nevyn

Make a stand and make a rota.
Make a list of all the things that need cleaning and how often.
It could just be that he has no idea how much work there is in housework.

watna

We both have jobs around the house that we have to do, so you're responsible for your own thing. I clean the bathroom, hoover and clean surfaces. He washes up (most of the time), takes the rubbish and recycling out and brings me things when I'm lying down and don't want to get up! We split doing the clothes washing, depending on whose run out of underwear, but he's very good about taking clothes out and folding them etc! I mostly cook because i enjoy it but he does it about 2 nights a week to give me a break. it works quite well. He's quite good about doing his jobs. I do clean a bit more but that's because i like things a bit cleaner then he does, so i don't mind. He does his jobs and I'm happy enough.

Would that work for you? Would he do it if ou assigned him specific jobs?

dudara

We don't have an assigned lists of tasks. I tend to do the majority because I like things done a particular way. I know people might think that it's unfair on me to do the majority, but it suits me because I have a bit of an inability to sit still anyway.

What matters is that my SO will do things when I ask him.

Overheal

use my Dad's tried and true method: watch football + slave labor

Electric

Talk to him and agree things that you both will look after. For example I do all the washing and ironing in ours but my other half does all the washing up. He hates ironing and I hate washing up.

Everything else is split 50/50.

LegacyUser

I seem to do most of it as the other half is lazy......I like my home to be CLEAN....
I do the hoovering, dusting, my clothes........I gave up doing his ironing and clothes as WHY SHD I.......

It gets me down thinking "here I am cleaning for 4-5 hrs sat and other half is golfing, on computer etc.........we have nearly split up over housework..........boils my blood...........

i KNOW HOW YOU FEEL............

TheNog

Why in this day and age with our massive brains and technology can't we invent a home where

housekeeping does not need to be done!!!!!!!!!

biko

Maybe the easiest way to get it done is to clean the house together, at the same time. Divide the house up into two parts and set aside two hours every weekend to do this.

When you do it together it doesn't feel like such a chore. Also he cannot put it off. Afterwards, reward yourselves with a meal in town and/or sex.

Reku

watna wrote: »

We both have jobs around the house that we have to do, so you're responsible for your own thing. I clean the bathroom, hoover and clean surfaces. He washes up (most of the time), takes the rubbish and recycling out and brings me things when I'm lying down and don't want to get up! We split doing the clothes washing, depending on whose run out of underwear, but he's very good about taking clothes out and folding them etc! I mostly cook because i enjoy it but he does it about 2 nights a week to give me a break. it works quite well. He's quite good about doing his jobs. I do clean a bit more but that's because i like things a bit cleaner then he does, so i don't mind. He does his jobs and I'm happy enough.

Would that work for you? Would he do it if ou assigned him specific jobs?

Sounds like you have it sussed, especially the bit of him bringing you things when you're lying down.;)
TBH I feel this is a better way than rostering all the jobs to one individual on any night as people are lazy and so will take shortcuts if the workload seems excessive. If instead you each do your bit every night it's not too bad and you get into a routine and will find that it gets easier and takes less time as you both become practiced in your assigned jobs.

dudara

TheNog Please post on topic and take the time to read the charter with regard to posting in this forum.

dudara

LegacyUser

Thanks for answers........

We tired that "doing it together" on a sat morning BUT he wanted to do it sunday afterall sat it wud get dirty again.....more rows as I wanted it clean for visitors on sat..........

it just seems to be never ending............................and talking to friends of mine their hubbys DO NOTHING..............and we are 29 so were are all these "NEW AGED MEN!".............I blame their mothers..............as my mother gave all us kids, a chore to do on a sat and there is 2 boys and 2 girls..................

syklops

As a generally lazt person when it comes to housework, here is my 2 cents worth. Stop doing his laundry. When he has nothing clean to wear he will have to go and wash something. After about the third Monday morning when he does not have a clean shirt for work, he will learn to wash them at the weekend. Its not much but it is a start.

I have lived with many different people, and have lived with various different levels of OCD with regard to cleaning. Some people cleaned for the sake of cleaning. When he sees you spending 5 hours on a saturday cleaning, he is assuming you choose to spend that time cleaning. When you give him a list of things to do, he then assumes you are trying to disrupt his weekend of leisure. I would suggest pointing out things which are extremely dirty and asking him to clean them until they are clean. His male ego should soon kick into gear to get something done. Make sure you pick something that is infact dirty. My girlfriend asked me to clean the shower last week so I spent 30 mins cleaning the glass. She then told me it wasnt done right so I spent an hour re-cleaning the glass. It turned out she was referring to a bit that I didn't consider dirty, and therefore didnt consider cleaning.

Yesterday I cleaned the kitchen because it was dirty, and I had the time to do it. I am not going to clean it today just because it is not as clean as it was when I finished cleaning it yesterday.

And to the chick who regularly argues with her husband about the house work, life is too short to spend your time arguing, and way too short to spend all the time cleaning.

fits

My OH is pretty good and has gotten better over the years.. He does more washing up and hoovering downstairs than I. I tend to do the less regular nasty jobs like oven cleaning, fridge defrosting and window washing. Laundry is 50/50 split, as is cooking. He looks after my car. I walk the dogs more.

Maybe I'm not getting such a bad deal.

Beruthiel

Sammy Junior wrote: »

I am married and wondering how other married couples tackle the housework, I can only get my hubby to hoover and dust every second weekend as I do the other, but he wont wash the tiles in kitchen, bath rooms etc, he thinks by hoovering and dusting its enough, he does the odd washing machine load.

Blokes like him will try to get away with as little as possible. They think they deserve a medal because they hoover once a month.
Go on strike. Quit washing his clothes right now. Just do your own. When he runs out, he'll get the message.

Assign tasks.
I cook, so my bloke washes up.
He hoovers, I dust.
Bathroom is shared.

Keep at it until the work load is evened out. Remember, you're not his servant and he can always go back to mammy if he doesn't like it.

LouOB

Sorry but if you want house clean you going to have to clean it yourself.

I have noticed that when OH friends come over he is very quick to clean then. If he leaves anything about the place during the week, i usually dump it and end of his wardrobe. Its soo funny - where's my charger? tie? ipod? and he has to 'dig' through his **** to find it rather than put it up. At least I cant see his mess at end of wardrobe and can close door.
There have been afew times when clean underwear has not been available on his end (hehehe) and he very quick to stick on wash then.
Also re ironing (HATE IRONING) put up all his clothes - unironed. Brill when he takes out shirt for work and they ALL in a mess

Hey - you gotta have fun too.
He wants to watch TV, you can watch him going mad with iron in morn and burn himself. This stuff should be on TV

If he has any brains – fingers crossed for ya, he will soon get message.

cance

hmmmm, i should really lift more of a finger around the house.

thanks for the warning.

padser

Sammy Junior wrote: »

I was thinking of gettting a housekeeper

Thats your answer right there. If both of you are working surely you could afford €50 or €60 a week in order to get most of the housework done.

Problem solved

(Why on earth would you just assume you wouldn't find someone where you live - thats just inventing problems before they even crop up - stupid!)

Cuddlesworth

Depends, if you are OCD about the place being clean don't ever expect him to clean as much as you.

syklops

there is working full time and working full time. Also, "my friends husband did this"... kind of stories are rarely a help to the subject because we are not getting the full story.

As well as that, its extremely rare for socks to go mouldy, due to the salt content.

seraphimvc

dudara wrote: »

We don't have an assigned lists of tasks. I tend to do the majority because I like things done a particular way. I know people might think that it's unfair on me to do the majority, but it suits me because I have a bit of an inability to sit still anyway.

What matters is that my SO will do things when I ask him.

SO?Significant Other?lol

Nevyn

Off topic and unhelpful posts will get you banned from this forum.
Read the charter and abide by the rules while posting.
Have a nice day
Thaedydal.

Latchy

Intresting topic and somthing that is not taken seriously enough imo .We solve it by sticking to a routine ,we do the every day cleaning ie, hoovering , washing and than once a week or so we have a deep clean which is usually my job in which everywere gets blitzed , the kitchen tiles ,the cooker gets pulled out and cleaned (out and in ) , the bathroom, tiles, toilet, floors,windows the 3 piece suite gets a polish over and everywere de- clutterd .

Just as well i have a touch of OCD or none of it might get done and it keeps me fit as well .:)

The Sweeper

Housework.

It's the world's most utterly thankless task. And people who don't do it don't have the faintest notion just how much work it actually is.

Take washing the dishes, for instance. I know blokes who believe washing the dishes involves taking the plates, giving them a scrub in some soapy water, stacking them on the dish rack and job done (someone else can do the drying). You stop when the dish rack is full.

In the world of me, washing the dishes involves starting with the glasses, washing them inside and out, rinsing them and stacking them to drain on a teacloth separate to the dish rack. Then the plates and knives and forks, all washed and then rinsed before they're stacked.

Then fresh water in the sink. Then the pots and pans - check the oven for roasting trays etc. Wash them, rinse them and stack them. Then let the water out of the sink and rinse the soap and grease away and take any horribles out of the plug hole. Then go and sit down with a cuppa or something for half an hour. When that half hour is over the dishes will have air dried and don't need to be wiped with a teacloth to dry them so you can put them away, then wipe down the draining board and fold up the draining rack (if it's a foldable rack).

See I'm an intrinsically lazy houseworker, but I like to live in a clean environment. I refuse point blank to iron anything except linen and silk. Everything else gets shaken when it comes out of the machine and dried on a hanger - and we buy low maintenance clothes (the "non-iron" variety) - also easier because neither of us have to wear suits for work so we don't need ironed shirts.

There's a scrubbing sponge and a bottle of shower spray in our shower, and every time I shower I take two minutes at the end to spray and wipe the shower glass and the shower tray and take whatever's in the plughole out of it.

The bathroom gets done once a week, and I do it. That's clear off the counter-top of clutter, wash the sink and counter top, clean the loo inside and out and top and bottom of both loo seats, empty the bin, change the towels, put the bath mats in the wash and finish by mopping the floor. New bath mats go in when the floor's dry.

I do more housework than my other half. I work at home and I don't have a two to three-hour commute every day. It took a while, but himself now completely understands that I work at home, not sit and eat chocolates and watch Oprah, so that means I have no more time to do housework than he does when he's at his desk in work. Where I fit is in is in the time I would otherwise spend commuting.

I don't particularly mind doing more than he does - as long as I get help when I ask for it. (This is important - WHEN YOU ASK FOR IT. If you say "Can you do X", and he says "Yeah I'll do it later", I believe most women just go and do it themselves. I know I do. Why? Because later never comes.) There are some things I leave almost excusively to him - taking out bins etc.

The only time I lose my reason is if he takes the piss. I define taking the piss as things like leaving a plate with food still on it on the kitchen counter. No no no. Scrape it into the bin and put it in the dish washer. It barely even takes effort - it just takes THOUGHT.

That's the main problem though - most blokes don't think.

I like the concept of just doing your own stuff and he'll get used to it - but I believe that only works for cooking or laundry. I don't think most blokes would give a flying monkeys about a dirty house - it'd have to be at the stage where there were cockroaches before they'd cop on.