What should I do ?

LungeLady

Well, I'll keep this short and sweet, I met a guy a fews weeks ago and we have continued to see each other, he seems quite keen,,,,,,,,, the prob is that I have not filled him in on my life circumstances yet (I am a single mother to a 7 year old) and i'm not really sure when is the right time ....... Should I just spit it out and leave the ball in his court or should I leave it until we know where we stand with regard to a potential relationship ??

thecleverone

Just tell him. Its not something that you should have to hide. Plus, if things get serious, he'll wonder why you haven't been upfront from the start. It shouldn't be an issue for him, and if it is, he's not worth the effort.

Tzetze

Why are you holding back from telling him? Is it because you think he'll lose interest? Do you think it's worth seeing someone who wouldn't be interested in you if he knew you had a 7 year old child?

Tell him straight out, there's no gentle way to do it, just out with it. He'll appreciate it more to be told the full story rather than being kept in the dark.

The girl I'm seeing has an 8 yr old daughter, and I was told from day one. I would not have appreciated being told of this a month (or later) down the line.

Oryx

Oh yes, of course tell him. Its not a massive issue, everyone has some kind of 'baggage' (not that your child is baggage!) and as has been said, if you leave it he might think its a bit weird that you felt you had to hide the most important thing in your life.

If the shoe was on the other foot, if he had a child, how would you feel if he didnt tell you at this stage?

kev_s88

the question you have to ask yourself is this: "is he the sort of person who will be offended or freaked out by this situation?"

you know him.we dont!! just use your instincts to decide wether to tell him now or leave it til later.its the only thing you can really do.

Reku

Better to just tell him, even if he runs a mile would you rather to have wasted a few weeks or a few months?
And if he hangs about at least you can then bring him back to your place for coffee, a movie or even a bit of nookie;) without having to worry about hiding away all your kid's stuff.

Saibh

tell him

know a friend of mine didn't tell the fella she met until a few weeks after. when she did he said it was fine but a few days later changed his mind....

LungeLady

Thanks everyone - you all make alot of sense - and perhaps I am just nervous of his reaction - and Your right - he is not worth it if it is a prob for him, I will bite the bullet and be straight with him - fingers crossed !!

whiskeyman

Tell him sooner rather than later... and that nearly goes for everything. Anything dwelled on will only hurt both of you the longer it drags.
Best of luck

biko

Tell him in a casual way "I got to go pick up my daughter/son".
"I have been meaning to tell you but wanted to wait to see where we were going first".

Just because you have a child doesn't mean he will become it's new dad, the child already has a dad.
If you don't freak out chances are he won't either.

l3LoWnA

I would tell him ASAP! It's no big deal and if he thinks otherwise and rund for the hills, both you and your daughter deserve better and you can be safe in the knowledge that you've weeded out a rotter

Don't make too much of a big-deal about it to him though or he might get the impression you're picturing a big white wedding with your little one as flower girl. As said above, mention it casually and as soon as possible. As a single mum of a litlte girl also, I don't understand how you've been seeing him for so long without mentioning her already to be honest?! Us single mammies are busy little bee's and I couldn't manage not talking about my one or babysitters or whatever if I was seeing someone new. Do you not feel worthy of a relationship with a normal single guy?! 'Coz if that's true it's bullsh*t and you need to be proud of who you are and what you've achieved with having your beautiful little girl!

Best of luck, I hope it all works out with the new guy

Overheal

i dont reccomend sliding in the information: thats sly, and personally I find it sickening - then they go 'oh, didnt I tell you?'

**** that. Just tell him straight out 'theres something you need to know about me'. If he has any sense of maturity or commitment (even a little) he should handle the approach well. You will have to explain why you didnt tell him sooner but im sure the explaination is already there.