who was the best primate in the history of the world?

memtalman

Just like the title says - who was the best primate in the history of the world?

Obviously for sheer size alone King Kong would be a contender.

Also Zira and Cornelius from Plant of The Apes - talking apes ... you gotta respect that.

But for me it has to be Cheetah every time - he was such a loyal and faithful companion to Tarzan throughout all of his various hair-raising adventures. Yeah for me it's Cheetah all the way - I'm proud to be able to say that I share 98% of my DNA with such a cool monkey.

And please don't anybody seriously suggest Bubbles - he was a sell-out if you ask me.

MagicMarker

Yore Ma...






can't believe i actually just said that, but it was rather appropriate given the topic at hand.

Jesus Wept

Pamela Anderson


....oh hold on, you said primate.

Well..... think it still works.

peasant

Hers ...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yk--GqaBHIQ

im_invisible

pope JPII???

jtsuited

im_invisible wrote: »

pope JPII???

rofl


the gorrila in the cadbury's ad!

im_invisible

jtsuited wrote: »

rofl

thanks man, was waiting over two hours for that, now i can go to bed:D
edit, hold on, is that the time...

Pigman II

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D5u7YOT8DIA

Never has one animal given so much to so many people so bored at work

Capt'n Midnight

For the Irish heat we should have

Archbishop Seán Brady, DCL Vs. Archbishop Alan Harper

Two Falls, Two Submissions or a Knockout, the winner to go on to the Primate of the World competition in Lhasa in 2008

super_furry

The gorilla in the rip-off 80's Ghostbusters cartoon.

WindSock

Orangutans always win, hands down. Chimps can fuk right off.

Capt'n Midnight

Bonobos. They are the Dr Jekyll of the Mr Hyde that are chimpanzees.

These guy have been living the free loving of the '60's for the last 2.5 million years :cool:

http://www.newscientist.com/channel/life/mg19225801.900-why-bonobos-make-love-not-war.html

Think of it this way. Somewhere between 6 and 8 million years ago, our ancestors split from the line that would become today's two species of chimps. Then around 2.5 million years ago, bonobos and common chimpanzees went their separate ways. Today our human world is characterised by war, oppression and terror. Common chimps also have a reputation for aggression and bloodshed. And then you have the bonobos. Which poses a few questions. How come they have taken such a different evolutionary path? Can they teach us to be more tolerant? What would it take to turn on our inner bonobo?
At most, there are a few hundred thousand bonobos left in the wild. They live only in the rainforests of the central Congo basin in DRC. Although their exact distribution is still unknown, the northern extent of their territory is bounded by a loop in the Congo river that forms an impassable barrier. On the face of it, their habitat looks very similar to a chimpanzee's, although the latter are much more widely distributed (see Map). The habits of the two species couldn't be more different, though.
...
When communities of bonobos from different areas of a forest meet, the females of each tribe initiate sex with males from the other. When chimp tribes meet, the encounters are extremely violent and it isn't unusual for at least a few individuals to end up mauled or even dead. Chimps create despotic male-controlled societies where males beat up females to display dominance. Bonobo society is egalitarian, until it is time to feed, at which point females tend to get preferential access.
...
Then there is the sex. Bonobos are famous for it. Aside from the typical male/female activity, they also engage in more "creative" behaviours: wet kissing, masturbation, oral sex, female/female and male/male couplings, group activities, the list goes on and on. The only restriction seems to be incest between mothers and their children.
...
Bonobo males always find plenty of receptive females, so there are few reasons to compete with each other.

super_furry

Finally, someone explains what goes on at Copper Faced Jacks in primate terms I can understand!

Pigman II

super_furry wrote: »

The gorilla in the rip-off 80's Ghostbusters cartoon.

That 'rip-off' Ghostbusters cartoon originated before the Bill Murray et al Ghostbusters movies/cartoon.

MrJoeSoap

Any of the monkeys Karl Pilkington mentions.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=DZGG6gAMWeg

Rovi

"Right turn, Clyde."

johnnyskeleton

Isn't primate the title used by the head or senior members of the Church of Ireland.

If so, I think if Ian Paisley cleans up his act and learns some basic social skills, he might evolve into a primate.

Rovi

johnnyskeleton wrote: »

Isn't primate the title used by the head or senior members of the Church of Ireland.

If so, I think if Ian Paisley cleans up his act and learns some basic social skills, he might evolve into a primate.

STOP THE LIGHTS!
Ian Paisley is soooooo not a member of the Church of Ireland!

Terry

Indeed.
He created his own church.

Hail 2 Da Chimp

boreds wrote: »

Orangutans always win, hands down. Chimps can fuk right off.

Whoa whoa whoa!!! Lets not say anything we can't take back!

RoundyMooney

Monkeyfudge?

You're on!

Jumpy

jtsuited wrote: »

rofl


the gorrila in the cadbury's ad!

That gorilla has competition, and I really, really like the competition.
Its sort of NSFW maybe. Its a wonderbra ad.
http://www.scaryideas.com/video/4656/

monkeyfudge

RoundyMooney wrote: »

Monkeyfudge?

You're on!

I leave town for a few days and we get threads like this?

Anyway... I have to give a mention to Darwin.

knird evol

memtalman wrote: »

Just like the title says - who was the best primate in the history of the world?......But for me it has to be Cheetah every time - he was such a loyal and faithful companion to Tarzan throughout all of his various hair-raising adventures. Yeah for me it's Cheetah all the way - I'm proud to be able to say that I share 98% of my DNA with such a cool monkey

:mad:
Cheetah was a hanger on. A crony. He copped early on that Tarzan had it all sown up in the neighbourhood.
When Tarzan, boy, and some hapless english explorers and his pals were being attacked by crocidiles in the river where was cheetah? Fucking nowhere, thats where. Oh yeah sure when the job was done cheetah the fucking comedian was all over it. With his Antics and capers he'd have us all in stitches. Throwing bananas at tarzan. Pulling Janes hair . A great guy altogether. A credit to Homo Simia. Yet all the while, laughing up his sleave at Tarzan and Homo Sapiens Sapiens. "pre frontal lobal development.l development me bollocks" - cheetah.

Jumpy

knird evol wrote: »

:mad:
Cheetah was a hanger on. A crony. He copped early on that Tarzan had it all sown up in the neighbourhood.
When Tarzan, boy, and some hapless english explorers and his pals were being attacked by crocidiles in the river where was cheetah? Fucking nowhere, thats where. Oh yeah sure when the job was done cheetah the fucking comedian was all over it. With his Antics and capers he'd have us all in stitches. Throwing bananas at tarzan. Pulling Janes hair . A great guy altogether. A credit to Homo Simia. Yet all the while, laughing up his sleave at Tarzan and Homo Sapiens Sapiens. "pre frontal lobal development.l development me bollocks" - cheetah.

Let it go. Cheetah told you no means NO. Dont make him enforce that restraining order.

knird evol

Jumpy wrote: »

Let it go. Cheetah told you no means NO. Dont make him enforce that restraining order.

So be it. You take cheetah. I'll sort out your wonderbra drummer girl. If i was to obey all the restraining orders againt me I wouldnt be able to get out of bed

Rhyme

Probably Specter the monkey.

Him or the aforementioned Monkeyfudge.

Red Hand

George Bush II. Those little chimp eyes...