how young is too young?!

LegacyUser

ok, so your a single male/female and 24, whats the youngest you would be with? is 18/19 too young? me friends had a thing where its half your age plus 7, buts that prob nonsense.
im not talking about relationships or anything here, id never go out with somebody more than 3 years younger than me!but thats my opinion!

in otherwords, is it acceptable for people in their mid 20's to be with people in their late teens? i think it is anyway!

Marksie

what is your issue OP?
If you dont have one, this is not for this forum

Doodee

once they are passed the legal age of concent then its really up to both parties.

Takes 2 to tango tbh.

AngryBadger

querynumb wrote: »

me friends had a thing where its half your age plus 7, buts that prob nonsense.

It is nonsence, your friends are Dingbats

Seriously though it's a personal call OP. Different people have a different take on it, and it depends on what you want from a relationship, and what the other half of it is like.

For example, I'm 26. I'd never consider dating someone less than 20 years of age, to be honest I would usually be uncomfortable doing anything sexual with people under 20, and in terms of dating I generaly wouldn't consider someone more than 2 years younger than me. That's because in my opinion peple are still children when they hit 18, yes tey're legal, yes they're responsible for themselves, but in general this isn't really the case.

On the other hand many of my friends, none of whom are assholes, would see no problem going out with someone under 20.

Different strokes for different strokes OP>

Atomic Pineapple

i'm 24 and my girlfriend is 18 and its the best relationship i've ever been in, she has been through alot in here teenage years though which makes her very mature, i was a bit suprised at how well we got on and the age thing was a slight concern but i wouldnt consider the age of a person relevant, it just shows how long they've been here not who they are or what there like.

daniel3982

I'm 25 and I'd probably have a night of passion with anyone over 18 but would be looking for someone over 21 and pass the whole adolescent age for relationships.

Dudess

I know 21-year-olds who act like 35-year-olds and 35-year-olds who act like 21-year-olds. It really depends on the maturity of the person. 17 is the legal age but he/she is likely to be in school. Go for someone who's left school anyway, after that, it's up to both of you. You'd be amazed at the amount of girls who are, say, 26 and talk and act like 16-year-olds. With Bebo pages and everything. Bizarre!
And then there are some very young people who post here (in the 16-21 age bracket) and I'm always astonished at how mature they come across.

ACW

I take it your question, is due to you having met someone. Presumtion i know, but the only reason i'd answer it in the PI section.

The age things isn't a huge deal anymore as long as both parties are of legal age. The social stigma is almost non-existant in the mid-20 to 30's dating 17/18 plus. I've had female partners aged 30-40 (when in my late teens and early twenties) and no one said a word to them about my age at the time and now at my age, if i'm seen with a woman in her early twenties or late teens it seen with envy.

Its a personal decision in the end. Would advise against dating someone in 6th forum or 1st year uni ( for their sake more-so ). Also be aware age is never a sure sign of maturity and that a person's levels of maturity across differnt spectrums are not always equal.

Good luck.

SligoBrewer

half your age, add 7?

seems to be the general rule?

theres always exceptions though i suppose

Froot

Different people are different.

My only issue with the whole thing (example 18 year old girl I know going out with a 26 year old guy) is that I really have a low opinion of someone in their mid 20's who is happy to be with an 18 year old. I met the guy and yes he is an idiot so it works out for them. I dont think it is possible to be on the same wavelength as a person that many years younger than you.

This is a stupid topic by the way.

eirebhoy

My grandad was 20 years older than my grandmother. :eek: He actually outlived her too.

lolli

My partner is 8 years older than me. It all depends of the person and your own person preference.

Some people want to out with people their own age others prefer older or younger, all about personal preference.

To me age doesnt really matter. If you like someone you like them. Over the legal age of course!!

Dudess

SligoBrewer wrote: »

half your age, add 7?

seems to be the general rule?

theres always exceptions though i suppose

Load of arse. SligoBrewer, pay no attention to that nonsense.

Froot wrote: »

My only issue with the whole thing (example 18 year old girl I know going out with a 26 year old guy) is that I really have a low opinion of someone in their mid 20's who is happy to be with an 18 year old.

Yeah, I find myself feeling like that about such guys too, however you have to remember that the girl also has a say in things. But yeah, I know where you're coming from.
Why is this a "stupid" topic though?

Steyr

SligoBrewer wrote: »

half your age, add 7?

seems to be the general rule?

theres always exceptions though i suppose

So says the Dept Of Righteousness..........:rolleyes:

Dudess

He's 16 - give him a break.

highlydebased

In general I stick to 3 years either side of my own age

Shelli

I'm 25 and my boyfriend is 20, we're together a year and a half now and things are great. It really depends on the person, he's very mature for his age....and i'm probably immature for mine.

kev_s88

its simple....


do whatever you want! as long as the person is of legal age what does it matter what age they are!

i know loads of people my age (18/19) who are going out with people in their mid 20's.its no different than being with someone your own age.if you like eachother age should play no part

padser

Its simple. Too young is anything below 17. Once they hit 17 and are legal its simple a question of personal choice. There is no right and wrong anymore in my opinion.

biko

I don't see the PI here but to humour OP: Half age +7 is what I go by.

l3LoWnA

Personally, and as a 26 year old girl, I can honestly say I know some amazingly mature 18/19 yr old girls (some even have a BEBO page :eek: ) and I also know some extremely immature ladies and gents in their 30's, 40's and older....

You cannot say how young is too young unless your talking in legal terms! There are 9 years between me and ex (he was 9 years older) and the age-gap meant nothing and never even came up once in conversation to be honest, we were on the exact same wavelength as one another and probably at similar levels of maturity also. I know I'll probably get shot for this and I don't believe I'm old fashioned but I find it FAR harder to get my head around older ladies being with younger guys. I know a girl in her 30's going out with a 20 year old guy and it kind of creeps me out if I'm honest, he's only a young boy (to me anyways) and she is a mother to three children AND has known her bf since he was a baby also....I know I know, pot/kettle and all that but there's something I find strange about the girl being that much older than the guy...

Tzetze

Half your age, +7... sounds to me like this may have been thought up by 60yr old bachelors at Lisdoonvarna.

millymolly

so what is acceptable when it comes to older woman with younger men? what is an ok age differance in that situation? i'm 23 and like a guy that is 21 which i guess isnt too much of a differance

demanufactured

heh , i once knew an 18 year old lad that was seein a woman in her 40s

Dudess

millymolly wrote: »

so what is acceptable when it comes to older woman with younger men? what is an ok age differance in that situation? i'm 23 and like a guy that is 21 which i guess isnt too much of a differance

As has been said already, it's all down to the individual couple. People do seem to have more of an issue with women dating younger men - only because it flies in the face of what's considered the cultural norm. I personally think that's ridiculous. As for your own case, that isn't even an age gap.

azezil

From my experience of being the mid 20's member of such a relationship, I'd say no, don't do it.

LegacyUser

im a 24yo girl and my bf is 18. he's immature in some aspects but its so sweet when they're young and not ashamed of showing their feelings, and they're intense aswell.
but i dont know, deep inside i feel ashamed for being 6 years old and feel the relationships not gonna work. so i dont know if i would recommend it.

Talliesin

The only real rule about ages is that anyone who starts talking about "half their age plus seven" has too low a mental age.

controller

Hi all, been following this thread over the last few days as it caught my eye. Well here's my story. I met my first serious boyfriend at 15, married him nine years later, seperated a few years later (no kids involved), he was almost ten years older than me, we just drifted apart and are two completely different people. I'm going through a heart wrenching seperation, trust me anyone who says marriage is just a slip of paper, is so, so mis-informed, rip that piece of paper up all you like but that won't finish it!!

Anyhow, yes back to the point. I'm now late twenties, I've been very fortunate to meet a very, very nice guy, similar interests a nice person, however he is twenty one! Yes, I have a huge hang-up about it, but to be honest it really all boils down to how mature the individual is, he is so mature and we are on a similar wavelength, that it can only be right. The biggest worry about age is not what we think but what we think what other people might say. Now I'm not one to spill my life story to the first person I meet, that's why I have the liberty here in telling my story under the guise of "Controller"! So I'll finish up by saying people might look at my situation and judge, and I know I let other peoples opinions bother me far to much, but at the end of the day when you find someone who makes you happy and it's not at anyone else's expense, just be happy with that, life will present far more problems for you to worry about, so enjoy the good. I came by this thread to get re-assurance from other peoples opinions and when I didn't see what I liked I thought you know what so what, you know in your heart if a relationship is right or wrong morally.

~Take care all.

LegacyUser

Im 27, met this girl recently who's 20, she's deadly, dont know whether to pursue it or not as she is so young, should I take the plunge?

I dont care what mates say but id love to ask her out!

UnReg123

same as - if you like her go for it!!

Dinxminx

Would a 34 year old connsider a 20 year old, do you think?

Reku

I think most of the posters have at least touched on it to some extent as it's really all down to comparative mental maturity and how well you "click" mentally and emotionally. Like l3LoWnA I've known some folks (male and female) who were very mature for their ages and others who were very immature (e.g. a woman in her mid 30's who still behaved like a big kid in too many ways).
Physical age only really comes into it WRT sleeping together.

LegacyUser

I agree with the whole clicking both mentally and emotionally. As someone else said life is going to throw so much other c&*p at you! As long as it'a legal and you're not bothered by other peoples opinions then it's ok. Mind you I'm an oldie with a bebo page who had first serious sexual relationship at 17.............hmmmmmmmmm maybe I need to examine my own maturity etc!

Thundercracker

If you think you are too old to be dating the girl you are dating, then you are too old to be dating here, whereas if it doesnt bother you then there's nothing to worry about

biko

biko wrote: »

I don't see the PI here but to humour OP: Half age +7 is what I go by.

I see...
Oh my Gods...

So if someone was out by a few years and you really felt attracted to them and vice versa and you are both consenting adults,you'd say no?
I doubt it works like that to be frank.

Consenting adults is the rule I go by.I don't bother with the mathematical formula rubbish because thats exactly what it is.

Tell me do the people that go by that have a similar mathematical formula for say the number of times it's ok to kiss or show affection to their partner?


For the record My Grandfather was 51 when he married my then 18 year old Grandmother-they had 8 children(in those days remember there was no viagra) and were very happy.
My Father carried on that tradition by marrying a woman in her thrities when he was nearly 50.
I wouldn't exist according to that stupid non sensical mathematical totally impersonal and highly illogical dreamt up formula

JuliusCaesar

Here are a few relationships I know of:
29 yr old woman, 40 yr old man
34 year old woman, 21 year old man
25 year old woman, 55 year old man
(They all lasted a few years and then broke up)

Dudess

Dinxminx wrote: »

Would a 34 year old connsider a 20 year old, do you think?

That's not an easy question to give a yes or no to. Yes, I'm sure there are 34-year-olds who'd consider 20-year-olds.

Reku

Dudess wrote: »

That's not an easy question to give a yes or no to. Yes, I'm sure there are 34-year-olds who'd consider 20-year-olds.

Come to think of it I know one who did date one, but then he looks REALLY young for his age. Do you think maybe that might be another aspect people consider; how young they themselves look, i.e. will it be obvious to strangers that they are way older than their new partner?

controller

farohar wrote: »

Come to think of it I know one who did date one, but then he looks REALLY young for his age. Do you think maybe that might be another aspect people consider; how young they themselves look, i.e. will it be obvious to strangers that they are way older than their new partner?

Absolutely, in my case as previously stated, I'm late twenties (female), Partner is early twenties, and I thankfully, or so everyone tells me only look early twenties, so ya, it probably goes un-noticed, although your friends would know the situation, but seeing as they are your friends it shouldn't be an issue.

Dudess

Tristrame wrote: »

For the record My Grandfather was 51 when he married my then 18 year old Grandmother

:eek: I love the older men myself but that's just... :eek: Were they living in a John B. Keane play?!

My Father carried on that tradition by marrying a woman in her thrities when he was nearly 50.

THAT's better. I'm nearly 30 myself and seeing a nice, hot older guy - not 50 but in his 40s.

I wouldn't exist according to that stupid non sensical mathematical totally impersonal and highly illogical dreamt up formula

Agreed. The fact that some people here actually believe that nonsense is baffling.

LegacyUser

Well,

Asked hersmelf out on Friday night, great success, went out on Sat aswell, had a nice weekend....

Went for it and she was into it, so happy days, i'll take things slow at the start and sure we'll see how it pans out, cheers for encouraging me to do so fellow boardsies!

l3LoWnA

Great! A happy ending!

Fair play to you - best of luck with it!

LegacyUser

In general I would have thought that if SOMETHING CLICKS and it's all above board (legal), no problem.
Of course that depends on other factors as well, like partners/wifes (horses for courses) and also if the younger of the two is being truthful.
I had a thing when I was seventeen (many moons ago) and the younger half said she was sixteen, no problems until later I found out she was going to seventeen until a couple of months later. I only panicked for a couple of years. 8)