Different sex drives

LegacyUser

Almost a year ago I met the most amazing guy. He's changed my life in a good way and I'm madly in love with him. He regularly tells me he's mad about me too not that I need reassurance. I can tell how he feels about me from the way he talks and acts around me. I'm 20, he's 26 and I can really see a future with him. I'm sure you're thinking that I'm too young for that but it's how I feel.

Anyway, we have completely different sex drives and two different sex problems and I'm worried it'll drive us apart. He would like sex ALL the time but he cums very quickly and gets frustrated. I don't want sex that often (and I think that's partly because I feel it's expected of me) and can never cum and get frustrated. When we have sex we work so well together, both no what the other wants and there's no communication barrier but last week was different. I hadn't seen him a couple of months as I'm living away at the mo. I went home for a week and in that time we had sex 3 or 4 times but all week he kept making jibes about our sex life. Just generally sarcastically complaining that we didn't have sex enough. It really upset me and I said it to him but it carried on.

Now I'm fretting that is going to split us up. We're a really strong couple and we're perfect except for our sex life. If he keeps making jibes at me I don't think I can take it.

l3LoWnA

I don't have much advice for you but you say there's no communication barrier - so talk to him about it!!!

And possibly, introduce more foreplay into your routine!?!

nosextoomuchsex

nosextoomuchsex wrote:

If he keeps making jibes at me I don't think I can take it.

Last time someone tried making sarky offhand comments at me about a problem they had, I told them to cop on and tell me straight out if they had a problem so we could discuss it.
If he does it again, stop whatever and confront him on it then and there and tell him to grow up and talk about whatever is bothering. Noone is giving him points for making sarky comments
And point out perhaps, that jibes aren't exactly a turn-on

finbarrk

You are as entitled as him to make jibes, he seems to be the one with the problem.

Hagar

I know you're not going to want to hear this but my first thought was that the jibes were as a result of a comparison between your sex life together and whatever was happening when you were apart. I would suspect that he was getting some elsewhere and it was more in keeping with his wants/needs. Then when you got back together it was back to business as usual and he resented it.

Regardless of how strong a couple you are if your sex life is a constant problem it doesn't bode well for a long term relationship. I would start looking for a new boyfriend if I were you.

LegacyUser

Hagar - I can assure you that he was not 'getting some elsewhere'. Believe it or not, not all men cheat when their partner is away. We are in love with each other and do not to cheat just for a bit of sex. I do not have proof that he didn't cheat on me but I do trust and love him and that's enough for me.


I talked to my boyfriend last night and another jibe was made. My boyfriend was not aware that he was making so many remarks and he also didn't realise that I felt they were aimed at me. He was being snappy at himself with the jibes. He is not frustrated with the amount of time we have sex but the length he lasts.

So now we're just stuck with that problem. Someone mentioned incorporating more foreplay into our routine but that doesn't work, in fact it makes him worse. We try different positions and it doesn't help. He told me that he's tried lasting longer when he's just by himself and it doesn't work. We've tried making him cum a bit before we have sex and that doesn't help. I think it's a mental thing at this point and I don't know how to solve that.

biko

Foreplay is meant for you (not him) to come before you even start having sex, then it won't matter as much if he doesn't last. He could also try thicker condoms to desensitise the dick.

Alternatively he could stop whenever he feels close to coming and start going down on you, this way he last longer and you get more attention.

Vegeta

biko wrote: »

Foreplay is meant for you (not him) to come before you even start having sex, then it won't matter as much if he doesn't last. He could also try thicker condoms to desensitise the dick.

Alternatively he could stop whenever he feels close to coming and start going down on you, this way he last longer and you get more attention.

Durex performa or whatever they're called have some thing in them to numb the knob don't they. That might help too.

Personally if I use durex extra safe there is nearly no sensation and I will not climax with one on.

There are lots of things to try if he just cant last long enough as biko points out above, the foreplay is for you