Bertie on the Premiership

Shadowless

Remember that time Bertie was on the Premiership? At the time I thought that he did pretty well. He somehow managed not to disgrace himself entirely.

Anyways I think it's about time he made his return to the show. Maybe some of his PR people might read this and pass on the message. In fairness with all the scandal goin on at the minute he should jump at the chance to boost his popularity.

Just a bit of a random thought really...

Dalfiatach

Jesus wept.

And they say we have an intelligent and sophisticated electorate :rolleyes:

kevmy

All Things Retro forum? Humour? Anywhere I won't see this post?

Peyton Manning

Video?

Jesus Wept

I don't remember this...

justsomebloke

which brings up an interesting point. Do you think Bertie has access to the football forum

Jesus Wept

Probably spends most of his time in the westlife forum.

gurramok

Nah, spends most of it in the State Benefits forum

mike65

That was a low point in football history. He made Dunph and Giles look like they'd sooner have been on Match of the Day.

Mike.

Unpossible

I can see it now, his solution for a team to win the premiership:

They should win more matches.
or
Teams are losing too many matches these days.

Blisterman

Well, he has managed to keep the premiership of Ireland for over 10 years.

JIZZLORD

Blisterman wrote: »

Well, he has managed to keep the premiership of Ireland for over 10 years.

excellent

kevmy

Unpossible wrote: »

I can see it now, his solution for a team to win the premiership:

They should win more matches.
or
Teams are losing too many matches these days.

It'd be more like being incapable of making any decisions so he just hire all his incompetent mates to run the club. They will subsequently confuse the players with their poor coaching, when one of them shows promise or starts improving things in his department he will be quickly moved - preferably to a different club. Through some fluke due to outstanding player loyalty, loads of transfer funds and an inability to get relegated due to other teams financial irregularities the club will rise. The closer the club gets to the top of the Premiership the more the team will be reliant on expensive foreign signings to keep the defence tight while all the homegrown player suddenly become fancy dans and want to play upfront forgetting their roots of only a few years ago.

Just as the team reaches the top the incompetence starts to overwhelm the players but the player led revolt is soon stopped when Bertie starts crying. Having missed the opportunity to change manager but having got rid of the very mean trainer McDowell the team are initially happy. However they soon realise that the trainer incompetence is, if anything, worse under the new coaches. Money for new transfers start to dry up and some of the fabled foreign defence start getting home sick.

Will the team fluke their way through another season? Will a decade of mismanagement catch up to them? Will the players every get the new manager and coaching staff they deserve? Will they fall towards the bottom of the table?

Tune in in 5 years to find out

Unpossible

don't forget telling the players to tighten their belts and in the same breath telling them that he really needs the pay rise that will make him the most highly paid manager in the league.

Outer Bongolia

I remember this.. didn't he call the Champions League The Championships?:D

Degsy

I know i'm not but IF i was a mod,i'd ban everybody who posts about football outside the soccer forum.Then i'd close the soccer forum and ban all its regulars.

Pherekydes

Degsy wrote: »

I know i'm not but IF i was a mod,i'd ban everybody who posts about football outside the soccer forum.Then i'd close the soccer forum and ban all its regulars.

sssssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhh.

Biko'll be getting ideas.

copacetic

Degsy wrote: »

I know i'm not but IF i was a mod,i'd ban everybody who posts about football outside the soccer forum.Then i'd close the soccer forum and ban all its regulars.

thats weird, everyone who posts in soccer thinks you are deadly...

Pigman II

I think Bertram should stick to his dayjob ..... whatever that is.

Dalfiatach

Pigman II wrote: »

I think Bertram should stick to his dayjob ..... whatever that is.

Opening off-licences and lugging around mysterious suitcases full of mysterious cash...

gurramok

kevmy wrote: »

It'd be more like being incapable of making any decisions so he just hire all his incompetent mates to run the club. They will subsequently confuse the players with their poor coaching, when one of them shows promise or starts improving things in his department he will be quickly moved - preferably to a different club. Through some fluke due to outstanding player loyalty, loads of transfer funds and an inability to get relegated due to other teams financial irregularities the club will rise. The closer the club gets to the top of the Premiership the more the team will be reliant on expensive foreign signings to keep the defence tight while all the homegrown player suddenly become fancy dans and want to play upfront forgetting their roots of only a few years ago.

Just as the team reaches the top the incompetence starts to overwhelm the players but the player led revolt is soon stopped when Bertie starts crying. Having missed the opportunity to change manager but having got rid of the very mean trainer McDowell the team are initially happy. However they soon realise that the trainer incompetence is, if anything, worse under the new coaches. Money for new transfers start to dry up and some of the fabled foreign defence start getting home sick.

Will the team fluke their way through another season? Will a decade of mismanagement catch up to them? Will the players every get the new manager and coaching staff they deserve? Will they fall towards the bottom of the table?

Tune in in 5 years to find out

Excellent post.

Pity the refs in the premiership are nearly non-existent, some of the decisions have been atrocious and i might say favouritism to the home side alot!

I heard that the FAI are investigating the team for illegal financial bungs going back years which has helped the club to the top flight but the investigation has only dented the home support fans slightly as they praise the league titles earned over the years due to cheap credit loans for the fans..

News from the terraces in that the fan base is getting unease about the string of bad results despite the championship win back in May.

The team are by far the best paid in Europe so they should be top of the champions league by now but too many own goals have put them at the bottom of the table, not good at all for morale.

Their goalkeeper in the defence dept seems to have lost alot of form these days due to persistent rumours of flying lessons.

The main man for transporting the ball in midfield made a balls of a recent match by starting rumours of unqualified amateur players being signed up untested on their 2nd trials.

Loike, if the captain can't perform well, how on earth are the rest of the team suppose to do well?
Hear a rumour that the deputy captain is making a move for the captaincy and is a popular chant among the fans.
The fans are hopeful of a turnaround in fortunes once the knockout cup ties begin in early December.

We will know then if they get knocked out as belts will be tightening because match ticket prices will skyrocket!!