No Fixed Abode

cson

A lazy day it was at the coalface of boards and hunger struck, so I decided to mosey on down to the local KFC for a sopt of chicken. All was well and good, had a beautiful meal blah blah blah, I walked past a black transit van, not too inconspicuos you might say, I was in Limerick.

No what tickled me feather was the back doors were open. Being the inquisitive person that cson is in real life I peered in. There was a matress a duvet, what looked like a a table, with a basin on it and a chair.

Naturally I got all flustered, how can a person live in a van? It posed questions like what the hell would your address be? I put a €10 at 1/2 on "No Fixed Abode". Other things that troubled me deeply were; what would one do should they need to pass faeces? And could ya get squatters rights on the parking space?

Troubling times indeed.

jimmycrackcorm

Someone van-camping for the weekend perhaps?

leninbenjamin

seriously cson, you've never lived out of the back of a van before? you really need to get out more. you park in residential areas so no one will realise your kipping there, you move on fairly early in the morning so the locals don't get pissed off and rat you out and ya go to the toilet in the likes of KFC and that. it's easily done.

Karoma

Going to the bathroom is easily sorted - nature and fast food establishments provide. It's cooking that's awkward. Did you see anything to cook with (BBQ, gas bottles)?




Shaggin' wagon \o/

patrickc

or you register in your local social welfare or homeless office and thats your address

cson

There was a gas ring in there too iirc. Not to mention that it smelt of ring too.

admiralofthefleet

it only costs 22c for an al fresco dump these days, just fúck the bag out the window at some pensioners on their way to bingo, they'll think its compost

patrickc

admiralofthefleet wrote: »

it only costs 22c for an al fresco dump these days, just fúck the bag out the window at some pensioners on their way to bingo, they'll think its compost

hilarious

SUNGOD

he was probably just in transit

cson

Theres no place for your hilariously unfunny punning SUNGOD. This is a serious discussion here.

SUNGOD

cson wrote: »

There was a gas ring in there too iirc. Not to mention that it smelt of ring too.

pot kettle

cson

Are you suggesting that the pot is calling the kettle black SUNGOD? Are you? I'm sorry to ruin your fantasy world, but pots and kettles can't talk. Unless of course one is mildly drunk and/or has taken nefarious substances.

In any case I was stating fact good sir. His van did indeed smell like faeces. And not just animal faeces either. Now be a good lad and stop derailing my important thread that could get boards a media mention on Gerard Ryans delightfully tasteful show.

admiralofthefleet

SUNGOD wrote: »

pot kettle

i have this t-shirt

SUNGOD

i only asked did the van have a " pot " or " kettle " but you had to get on your high horse and ruin my " fantasy world " then you took G RYANS name in vain thats it im away slashing tyres

Black Swan

If it had a couple of surf boards on van top, it would fit So Cal at the beach.

SUNGOD

admiralofthefleet wrote: »

i have this t-shirt

class

cson

Blue_Lagoon wrote: »

If it had a couple of surf boards on van top, it would fit So Cal at the beach.

Well it didn't. Shag off with yer fancy surfhome van. It was in Limerick, the only serfs you'll find there out abroad in the Parkway.

Dave147

Well...? Did it have a pot and a kettle?

SUNGOD

cson wrote: »

Well it didn't. Shag off with yer fancy surfhome van. It was in Limerick, the only serfs you'll find there out abroad in the Parkway.

think its bed time for CSON the poor child is getting a bit grouchy, you'll feel better after a good nights sleep and some milk .night night hugs and kisses from sungod .

Black Swan

cson wrote: »

Shag off with yer fancy surfhome van.

You haven't been to So Cal beaches? You will find many an old van or woodie that is not a bit fancy, with a lot of dents and rusting paint, and just a way to get to the beach, surf, and hang out for weekends at a beach park or anyplace the cops fail to write parking tickets. :cool:

randylonghorn

Posted by cson:

cson wrote: »

Naturally I got all flustered, how can a person live in a van? It posed questions like what the hell would your address be?

cson's LOCATION: My Caravan Travels From Place To Place

cson

Blue_Lagoon wrote: »

You haven't been to So Cal beaches? You will find many an old van or woodie that is not a bit fancy, with a lot of dents and rusting paint, and just a way to get to the beach, surf, and hang out for weekends at a beach park or anyplace the cops fail to write parking tickets. :cool:

Fecking foreigners....

SUNGOD wrote: »

think its bed time for CSON the poor child is getting a bit grouchy, you'll feel better after a good nights sleep and some milk .night night hugs and kisses from sungod .

I would say "Yes it is my bed time SUNGOD because yore ma is calling me to provide her with some satisfaction" But seeing as its now frowned upon amongst the boards hierarcy and the fact I wouldn't touch yore ma with Blue Lagoons (no offence mate) I won't.

I don't want your hugs and kisses, I want you to acknowledge the fact that pots and kettles can't talk. And that cson doesn't sleep. He waits.

cson

randylonghorn wrote: »

Posted by cson:



cson's LOCATION: My Caravan Travels From Place To Place

I tell you sir, a caravan and a ford transit van with a mattress and duvet and various homeware implements are not the same thing. pfft.

SUNGOD

your sexy when your trying to act all grown up .sungod thinks thats sooo cute. maybe you made a mistake and all you saw was a delivery for the tate modern art gallery

randylonghorn

cson wrote: »

Fecking foreigners....

... and the fact I wouldn't touch yore ma with Blue Lagoons (no offence mate)

LMAO!

Oh lordee, mate, but you're not doing well!

cson

SUNGOD also thinks that pots and kettles can talk. Stop sidetracking my very important and relevant thread. You might think that your shite talking escapes cson, but your fooling no-one mate, off topicness of this nature in my opinion should result in the playing of James Blunt until the convict can take no more and results in their being declared insane and sent to Leitrim.

cson

randylonghorn wrote: »

*cough*


Quadrupled!!!

Don't worry Randylonghorn, the ironing of it all is not lost on me.

SUNGOD

night night CSON and remember SUNGOD will be here at the same time tomorrow night just in case you see any more big vans that make you scared big hug ,kiss and tickles xx

Black Swan

cson wrote: »

Fecking foreigners....

Rugadh i Gaillimh me'.
Yor Ma!

randylonghorn

Not to mention the fact that you don't have a ...

wouldn't touch yore ma with Blue Lagoons

... unless you've been holding out on us! :eek:

cson

That said I would touch SUNGOD's ma with Randylonghorns given the fact that Randylonghorn is probably riddled with all the diseases SUNGOD's ma has anyway and it wouldn't make a slight bit of difference, it'd be the same as swopping pogs.

Anyway, fook off with yer off-topicness before my thread gets thrown to the deviants in the 'dome. The questions that are on everybodys lips at this moment in time is; Would the back of a van make a habitable environment? And would you entertain notions of having relations with someone who lists their address as the black ford transit, space 72, car park A down beside the local KFCs?

Black Swan

cson wrote: »

Don't worry Randylonghorn, the ironing of it all is not lost on me.

Gee, I have some laundry that needs "ironing" too. What do you charge? I hate "ironing!" Or was this an expression "lost on me" since crossing the pond to study in Bushyland? Oh, I know! Maybe you meant that you were "ironing" something out as a metaphor?

Now back to the original question... You find all kinds of vans in So Cal, from rich to poor, from starving students to beach bums lookin for a curl to catch at The Wedge. Many have mattresses in the back, and no tellin what else... So it doesn't mean they are homeless here.

randylonghorn

cson wrote: »

That said I would touch SUNGOD's ma with Randylonghorns

You keep your hands off it, mate, I don't care whose ma you're intending to rub it against!

cson

Blue_Lagoon wrote: »

Gee, I have some laundry that needs "ironing" too. What do you charge? I hate "ironing!" Or was this an expression "lost on me" since crossing the pond to study in Bushyland? Oh, I know! Maybe you meant that you were "ironing" something out as a metaphor?

Now back to the original question... You find all kinds of vans in So Cal, from rich to poor, from starving students to beach bums lookin for a curl to catch at The Wedge. Many have mattresses in the back, and no tellin what else... So it doesn't mean they are homeless here.

Ironing = irony, loike omg duh :rolleyes:

Now back to the question at hand, and it aint about your fecking hippy surfers in "So Cal" (I betcha thats in Ballina) its about people that live in the back of vans. Its very serious topic, almost worthy of a place on loive line.

Potential-Monke

Being from Limerick, you see that thing very often. It's nothing new, and in my job you come across alot of people with the No Fixed Abode address (not mentioning any groups).

cson

What would the smell be like?! Name of jaysus I'd say it'd be chronic.

skywalker

cson wrote: »

Are you suggesting that the pot is calling the kettle black SUNGOD? Are you? I'm sorry to ruin your fantasy world, but pots and kettles can't talk. Unless of course one is mildly drunk and/or has taken nefarious substances.

In any case I was stating fact good sir. His van did indeed smell like faeces. And not just animal faeces either. Now be a good lad and stop derailing my important thread that could get boards a media mention on Gerard Ryans delightfully tasteful show.

We have pighead imitators now?

Wertz

I have no fixed adobe....pdfs are a bitch...

SUNGOD

skywalker wrote: »

We have pighead imitators now?

go easy on poor CSON he was up way past his bed time and he got carried away and thought he was original and funny, ah bless his little cotton socks .and as you can read he seems to have a fasination about mothers and ironing and for some strange reason he wants to touch my mother with other mens ........... very strange but i suppose we have to make allowances for any body who sh1ts on themselves when they see a big van

Jumpy

Wertz wrote: »

I have no fixed adobe....pdfs are a bitch...

I have no fixed abode as well, the plumber is still due to come.

cson

skywalker wrote: »

We have pighead imitators now?

One would like to see the rationale behind how you came to that conclusion. In any case imitation is the sincerest form of flattery and we don't see any skywalker impersonators roaming boards now do we?

SUNGOD wrote: »

go easy on poor CSON he was up way past his bed time and he got carried away and thought he was original and funny, ah bless his little cotton socks .and as you can read he seems to have a fasination about mothers and ironing and for some strange reason he wants to touch my mother with other mens ........... very strange but i suppose we have to make allowances for any body who sh1ts on themselves when they see a big van

Again thread derailering ffs. You better offer something of value to the discussion or I'm going reporting you to the old bill SUNGOD. In fact the last line of that post is serious personal abuse, so I'm gonna do it anyway. Check and mate my dear friend.

Once again I have to steer this ship of controversy on course again; Is it acceptable behauviour to use the mcdonalds for a mc**** with extra lies?

randylonghorn

cson wrote: »

Ironing = irony, loike omg duh :rolleyes:

SHE KNEW THAT! ... loike omg duh :rolleyes:

Whoosh!

Anyway ... a mattress in the back of a van is grand when a few people are heading to a concert, or the beach for the weekend, or something like that. Have done it myself as a student, kayaks / boards tied on top, 4 of us sleeping in the back with enough pints as anaesthetic ... no probs.

Wouldn't like to be trying to live out of one, tho'.

SUNGOD

cson wrote: »

Again thread derailering ffs. You better offer something of value to the discussion or I'm going reporting you to the old bill SUNGOD. In fact the last line of that post is serious personal abuse, so I'm gonna do it anyway. Check and mate my dear friend.

QUOTE]

ok just to keep CSON from throwing all the toys out of the pram i will contribute , even i SUNGOD has used that van trick, just throw in a mattress sleeping bag, pillows etc and head off. did it three years running on the way to oxygen. also i know of people who stayed in vans when they ,lets just say fell on hard times , it happens and the way banks are handing out 100% and 110% mortgages its going to increase .its not a social stigma or a cry for help its a sign of the times we live in as the divide between the classes becomes wider ,bertie gets 38 grand extra someone else becomes homeless.oh and CSON if ya think that last post was "serious personal abuse" well SUNGOD is very sorry .i dont want to get you all mad and heaven forbid you might lose the rag and send me a stiffly worded letter . by the way CSON what are you wearing ? now take your time and desribe it to me in detail .............!

cson

Jeez SUNGOD this thread was all light hearted until that. I hear what you're saying though buddy, and it should have a thread of its own in a forum with a touch more seriousness than AH.

While I would reply to the "what are you wearing" with a sarcastic put down (e.g. I'm wearing yore ma at the minute) your candidness in the last post has somehow thawed my icy cold heart; I'm wearing my muumuu.

KIVES

Auh badger,I took a wrong turn at the Paranormal forum and I've ended up here...I'd love to contribute lads but I'm in serious discussion about how ghosts raise their young

randylonghorn

KIVES wrote: »

Auh badger,I took a wrong turn at the Paranormal forum and I've ended up here...I'd love to contribute lads but I'm in serious discussion about how ghosts raise their young

Spiritually?

SUNGOD wrote: »

... heaven forbid you might lose the rag and send me a stiffly worded letter. by the way CSON what are you wearing ?

Association of ideas?

SUNGOD

cson wrote: »

Jeez SUNGOD this thread was all light hearted until that. I hear what you're saying though buddy, and it should have a thread of its own in a forum with a touch more seriousness than AH.

While I would reply to the "what are you wearing" with a sarcastic put down (e.g. I'm wearing yore ma at the minute) your candidness in the last post has somehow thawed my icy cold heart; I'm wearing my muumuu.

thats it friends for life here i was sitting on a space hopper wearing my muumuu thinking i was weird , good chatting with ya CSON talkcha

SUNGOD

KIVES wrote: »

Auh badger,I took a wrong turn at the Paranormal forum and I've ended up here...I'd love to contribute lads but I'm in serious discussion about how ghosts raise their young

mmmmm who is this badger you speak off ? or are you speaking in tongues after spending to much time on the paranormal forum . by the way derek acorah is behind ya naked from the ankles up (flip flops) . i have the gift