No Fixed Abode

cson

A lazy day it was at the coalface of boards and hunger struck, so I decided to mosey on down to the local KFC for a sopt of chicken. All was well and good, had a beautiful meal blah blah blah, I walked past a black transit van, not too inconspicuos you might say, I was in Limerick.

No what tickled me feather was the back doors were open. Being the inquisitive person that cson is in real life I peered in. There was a matress a duvet, what looked like a a table, with a basin on it and a chair.

Naturally I got all flustered, how can a person live in a van? It posed questions like what the hell would your address be? I put a €10 at 1/2 on "No Fixed Abode". Other things that troubled me deeply were; what would one do should they need to pass faeces? And could ya get squatters rights on the parking space?

Troubling times indeed.

jimmycrackcorm

Someone van-camping for the weekend perhaps?

leninbenjamin

seriously cson, you've never lived out of the back of a van before? you really need to get out more. you park in residential areas so no one will realise your kipping there, you move on fairly early in the morning so the locals don't get pissed off and rat you out and ya go to the toilet in the likes of KFC and that. it's easily done.

Karoma

Going to the bathroom is easily sorted - nature and fast food establishments provide. It's cooking that's awkward. Did you see anything to cook with (BBQ, gas bottles)?




Shaggin' wagon \o/

patrickc

or you register in your local social welfare or homeless office and thats your address

cson

There was a gas ring in there too iirc. Not to mention that it smelt of ring too.

admiralofthefleet

it only costs 22c for an al fresco dump these days, just fúck the bag out the window at some pensioners on their way to bingo, they'll think its compost

patrickc

admiralofthefleet wrote: »

it only costs 22c for an al fresco dump these days, just fúck the bag out the window at some pensioners on their way to bingo, they'll think its compost

hilarious

SUNGOD

he was probably just in transit

cson

Theres no place for your hilariously unfunny punning SUNGOD. This is a serious discussion here.

SUNGOD

cson wrote: »

There was a gas ring in there too iirc. Not to mention that it smelt of ring too.

pot kettle

cson

Are you suggesting that the pot is calling the kettle black SUNGOD? Are you? I'm sorry to ruin your fantasy world, but pots and kettles can't talk. Unless of course one is mildly drunk and/or has taken nefarious substances.

In any case I was stating fact good sir. His van did indeed smell like faeces. And not just animal faeces either. Now be a good lad and stop derailing my important thread that could get boards a media mention on Gerard Ryans delightfully tasteful show.

admiralofthefleet

SUNGOD wrote: »

pot kettle

i have this t-shirt

SUNGOD

i only asked did the van have a " pot " or " kettle " but you had to get on your high horse and ruin my " fantasy world " then you took G RYANS name in vain thats it im away slashing tyres

Black Swan

If it had a couple of surf boards on van top, it would fit So Cal at the beach.

SUNGOD

admiralofthefleet wrote: »

i have this t-shirt

class

cson

Blue_Lagoon wrote: »

If it had a couple of surf boards on van top, it would fit So Cal at the beach.

Well it didn't. Shag off with yer fancy surfhome van. It was in Limerick, the only serfs you'll find there out abroad in the Parkway.

Dave147

Well...? Did it have a pot and a kettle?

SUNGOD

cson wrote: »

Well it didn't. Shag off with yer fancy surfhome van. It was in Limerick, the only serfs you'll find there out abroad in the Parkway.

think its bed time for CSON the poor child is getting a bit grouchy, you'll feel better after a good nights sleep and some milk .night night hugs and kisses from sungod .

Black Swan

cson wrote: »

Shag off with yer fancy surfhome van.

You haven't been to So Cal beaches? You will find many an old van or woodie that is not a bit fancy, with a lot of dents and rusting paint, and just a way to get to the beach, surf, and hang out for weekends at a beach park or anyplace the cops fail to write parking tickets. :cool:

randylonghorn

Posted by cson:

cson wrote: »

Naturally I got all flustered, how can a person live in a van? It posed questions like what the hell would your address be?

cson's LOCATION: My Caravan Travels From Place To Place

cson

Blue_Lagoon wrote: »

You haven't been to So Cal beaches? You will find many an old van or woodie that is not a bit fancy, with a lot of dents and rusting paint, and just a way to get to the beach, surf, and hang out for weekends at a beach park or anyplace the cops fail to write parking tickets. :cool:

Fecking foreigners....

SUNGOD wrote: »

think its bed time for CSON the poor child is getting a bit grouchy, you'll feel better after a good nights sleep and some milk .night night hugs and kisses from sungod .

I would say "Yes it is my bed time SUNGOD because yore ma is calling me to provide her with some satisfaction" But seeing as its now frowned upon amongst the boards hierarcy and the fact I wouldn't touch yore ma with Blue Lagoons (no offence mate) I won't.

I don't want your hugs and kisses, I want you to acknowledge the fact that pots and kettles can't talk. And that cson doesn't sleep. He waits.

cson

randylonghorn wrote: »

Posted by cson:



cson's LOCATION: My Caravan Travels From Place To Place

I tell you sir, a caravan and a ford transit van with a mattress and duvet and various homeware implements are not the same thing. pfft.

SUNGOD

your sexy when your trying to act all grown up .sungod thinks thats sooo cute. maybe you made a mistake and all you saw was a delivery for the tate modern art gallery

randylonghorn

cson wrote: »

Fecking foreigners....

... and the fact I wouldn't touch yore ma with Blue Lagoons (no offence mate)

LMAO!

Oh lordee, mate, but you're not doing well!

cson

SUNGOD also thinks that pots and kettles can talk. Stop sidetracking my very important and relevant thread. You might think that your shite talking escapes cson, but your fooling no-one mate, off topicness of this nature in my opinion should result in the playing of James Blunt until the convict can take no more and results in their being declared insane and sent to Leitrim.

cson

randylonghorn wrote: »

*cough*


Quadrupled!!!

Don't worry Randylonghorn, the ironing of it all is not lost on me.

SUNGOD

night night CSON and remember SUNGOD will be here at the same time tomorrow night just in case you see any more big vans that make you scared big hug ,kiss and tickles xx

Black Swan

cson wrote: »

Fecking foreigners....

Rugadh i Gaillimh me'.
Yor Ma!

randylonghorn

Not to mention the fact that you don't have a ...

wouldn't touch yore ma with Blue Lagoons

... unless you've been holding out on us! :eek:

cson

That said I would touch SUNGOD's ma with Randylonghorns given the fact that Randylonghorn is probably riddled with all the diseases SUNGOD's ma has anyway and it wouldn't make a slight bit of difference, it'd be the same as swopping pogs.

Anyway, fook off with yer off-topicness before my thread gets thrown to the deviants in the 'dome. The questions that are on everybodys lips at this moment in time is; Would the back of a van make a habitable environment? And would you entertain notions of having relations with someone who lists their address as the black ford transit, space 72, car park A down beside the local KFCs?