Drunken Mishaps

l3LoWnA

Any of ye ever had a drunken mishap or any mishap that you can't fully remember?!?!

I have an extremely sore jaw/cheek since the weekend - feels bruised but it's not a visible bruise thank god. I really have not got a clue how it got there. I hadn't been drinking (alcohol) for about 6 weeks so the vodka went straight to my head o Saturday night and I got fairly p*ssed and now I have this sore jaw

Another time (years ago) I went out cold in the pub and they'd to call me an ambulance, woke up and I didn't know what was wrong as I felt 100% (same as I felt before I collapsed). Even the paramedics asked "why on earth did they call you an ambulance?!" and the doctors in A & E were baffled that I was sent there! Supposedly though, I was out cold for AGES in the pub on the floor, the docs couldn't work out why, blood sugars perfect, pretty sober etc etc., there was a rumour that some guy spiked me. With what I don't know.......

Any of ye have any drunken mishaps to tell of?!

shane86

l3LoWnA wrote: »

Any of ye ever had a drunken mishap or any mishap that you can't fully remember?!?!

!

God no. Never


Apart from that time a bird boxed me in the jaw after i called her fat (she kept interrupting when i was trying it with her gorgeous little Asian mate who id met earlier). Or the time i was mindless and signed up to some cnuting sex chat text service that ate a tenner of credit even after id cancelled. Or the time i lost my mates in Prague and spent an unregulated amt of money in the strip clubs. Or my first time properly drunk aged 15, one litre of vodka, fell off a bus. Or when i woke in hospital another time back in the rare oul times after close on 3 litres of vodka, and the frst thing i saw was a Filipino lady in a nurses uniform, and the first thing i says is "jaysus, where the **** am I" completely oblivious to the prev nights events

The last two are the reasons i seldom if ever drink vodka any more (apart from WKD in clubs). To a man every cnut i know who drinks it cant be talked to at nights end. I used to slaughter the stuff in my youth (Dunnes do/did a very cheap 0.7 l of Kinsey vodka, things start going wrong with that in the system)

TPD

Bought a burger while drunk once.

leninbenjamin

I once thought it would be a good idea to cycle home when blind drunk once. all the memories that i have of that night involve me falling off, sometimes on the road i think. it's amazing that over the 3 miles i didn't kill myself really. mangled up my trousers pretty bad too.

bronte

I have fallen over a few times

Rabies

Ya... a few.
Usually remember most of the night, but if we go crazy on shots then good bye memory.

My drunken rambles are over here
http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055087106

davyjose

I broke a phalange one night. It took me a few days to realise what I'd done.

The Queen

Every time I go out, I always end up coming home covered in bruises! Maybe I shouldn't drink so much... Hmmm... I once woke up in my friends wardrobe. I don't even remember being in her house!!

MrJoeSoap

Woke up twice in June/July over in Australia with a swollen jaw, once missing half a tooth and the other time in the middle of a barn in the outback, nothing around it for miles upon miles. Oh, and I was spooning a dog (a canine that is). Bizarre to say the least.

There are countless other stories but I'd pretty much just be repeating myself.

biko

I was coming out of the Front Door, had maybe 3 pints in me and stupidly was walking and texting at the same time, not looking at all, and fell over a bike parked just outside the door. Friday night at 11 - lots of people around and the bouncers trying to hold in their laughter.
Got up in a flash and brushed myself off and tried to walk away with dignity

Gordon

leninbenjamin wrote: »

I once thought it would be a good idea to cycle home when blind drunk once. all the memories that i have of that night involve me falling off, sometimes on the road i think. it's amazing that over the 3 miles i didn't kill myself really. mangled up my trousers pretty bad too.

I mangled up my jaw doing that. Then some months later I was blind drunk again and walked through a fight between two skangers as I thought I was Moses and could part the skanger waves. They teamed up and kicked me to the ground. And knocked my jaw out of place again.

Ah, those were the days.

shane86

leninbenjamin wrote: »

I once thought it would be a good idea to cycle home when blind drunk once. all the memories that i have of that night involve me falling off, sometimes on the road i think. it's amazing that over the 3 miles i didn't kill myself really. mangled up my trousers pretty bad too.

Guilty

Back in the days of underagerism, i dunno why but whenever id come home annihilated drunk id wake up without my pants on. You could set your wtch to it, in the old days id come in and remove my pants at some point between the front door and the landing, yet would have no recollection of it.

My entire foot went purplish once, i was a bit freaked, but im not really the doctor type, and it passed in a few days.

After Man Us embarrasingly awful exit from CL 2007 I nearly got in a row with similiarly drunken Man U heads in town, id been on the beer since midday (it was a gorgeous sunny day I recall) over the issue of whether the Prem was more important than the CL (of course the CL is more important, id rather manage my team to a European final and lose than win a domestic, but different strokes etc, cmon the Pool )

As said, vodka, knocked on the head Its just too easy to drink after yiv had a few. Beer and triple WKD all the way

l3LoWnA

MrJoeSoap wrote: »

in the middle of a barn in the outback, nothing around it for miles upon miles. Oh, and I was spooning a dog (a canine that is).

I had a similar experience - just the dog though, not the barn or the outback! but it was one big f*cker of a dog - before I woke up wrapped around the thing I woudln't even set foot in the same room as it :rolleyes:

leninbenjamin

Gordon wrote: »

Then some months later I was blind drunk again and walked through a fight between two skangers as I thought I was Moses and could part the skanger waves. They teamed up and kicked me to the ground. And knocked my jaw out of place again.

whoah you're like my unlucky doppellganger, I've done that before as well except minus the mangled jaw.

that reminds me: there was the night i pretended I was Moses and had a big stick and I would hit people with if they wouldn't agree to being converted. It was all inspired by this bush I found that had a weird reddish light right behind it that kinda looked like it was on fire... 4 years later people still give out to me for that one. and those that don't still avoid me

l3LoWnA

leninbenjamin wrote: »

whoah you're like my unlucky doppellganger, I've done that before as well except minus the mangled jaw.

I kinda did the same one - saw a big skanger starting a fight with a little one and I drunkenly and courageously and stupidly told the big one exactly what I thought of him as I passed them. Big Skanger followed me to the loo and bet me unconcious - and I'm a lady :eek::o

leninbenjamin wrote: »

that reminds me: there was the night i pretended I was Moses and had a big stick and I would hit people with if they wouldn't agree to being converted. It was all inspired by this bush I found that had a weird reddish light right behind it that kinda looked like it was on fire... 4 years later people still give out to me for that one. and those that don't still avoid me

I was on my way to a rave one night in a big quarry (many moons ago) and as my friend drunkenly hobbled along beside me crying all the time coz she was so cold I was trying to yank off "all the JESUS's beards". I was sleep deprived and under the influence at the time :eek: I thought I could see eleven jesus's all sitting in the row in the hedge. Next day I realised the Jesus's were actually thorny bushes, my hands were ruined with scrapes and cuts

FruitLover

Man, I have a rake of these kinds of stories (and that's just the drink - I'd have an arm-long list of adventures and mishaps were we to include more nefarious substances...

A couple that spring to mind: the time when I woke up with a hole through the skin on my hip (literally a hole in the skin - I could see the muscle moving below it) - NO idea whatsoever how it got there, and I now have a 2-inch-long scar that looks like a combination of a stab and burn wound.

Then there was the time I got in a scrap with a Yakuza (Japanese gangster) in one of the dodgier back-streets of Kabuki-cho. Lucky I was over doing judo, eh... (what was weird was the way the guy's two mates stood back and watched while I was kneeling on your man's chest ) Some sort of honour thing maybe

connundrum

FruitLover wrote: »

Then there was the time I got in a scrap with a Yakuza (Japanese gangster) in one of the dodgier back-streets of Kabuki-cho. Lucky I was over doing judo, eh... (what was weird was the way the guy's two mates stood back and watched while I was kneeling on your man's chest ) Some sort of honour thing maybe

Exact same thing happened to me whilst walking down High Street in Tullamore. Small world.

Nothing is a mishap when you're drunk. It is all a deliberate plan by God to show you the evil side. Drink makes you hurt, learn people learn!

Steyr

My one memorable moment was the day of my LC results in 2000, it was a friday and we left the school and got LOTS of cans of Bulmers, headed to Salthill Golf Club where they have a tunnel under the main road, so began drinking really quickly as it was 4pm and i had work at 6pm....... so drank non stop til 5pm can after can as it pissed rain then i realised i had to go so walked off in the rain over what i though was a small muddy patch.....

.......it was 2 feet deep i went in 2 feet and lost my runners and socks so walked completely locked barefoot to westside ( 30 mins walk ) and cheekily walked into work barefoot twisted just to "confirm" i was starting at six, walked out and fell on the way out the main door, blamed the weather:rolleyes:.........

Got home, had the aul 1 asking why my clothes were destroyed, i said i was out "Golfing", he he up to my knees in ****, got dressed for work, clocked in with a mountain of chewing gum in my mouth, hadnt a clue about what was going on in work, work went quick and very funnily.:D:D:D and didnt get fired:)

Lands Leaving

I got lost while on holidays, blindly staggered around, ended up miles away, in a park. fell in the lake. Nearly drowned. Totally delirious after that (was smashed but aware before) but somehow managed to convince the local police that I lived right around the corner. (No idea why I tried that excuse!) They failed to mention my soaked, sand covered clothes! Got a taxi back to where I was was staying as the cop car slowly follwed me along the road!:D

Ah yes, this had neen preceeded by a night of free booze at a classy drink launch. Where I decided to try every free cocktail. of which there were many. At least twice. I'm estimating at leat a shoulder of vodka was downed. at least!

SUNGOD

a chap i know decided to grill two burgers after a night out and was wondering why the burgers were melting under the grill until he realised they were wagon wheels

Lands Leaving

l3LoWnA wrote: »

I thought I could see eleven jesus's all sitting in the row in the hedge. Next day I realised the Jesus's were actually thorny bushes, my hands were ruined with scrapes and cuts

I might add that like yourself I was sleep deprived! which explans why I thought the thorny bushes at the lake were going to be helpful pulling myself out of the water. Cuts all over me the next day! Bloody lack of sleep and thorny bushes

cson

A sesh that started in the Living Room in Galway ending up in some pub in Gorey. Minus the weeks wages. Absolutely no idea how we got down there. Ended up in Dublin Airport once, got thrown out of there though. Apparently they're not too keen on Bavaria. Just as well tbh, another wallet full of cash on me at the time, fook knows where I could have ended up :eek:

kev_s88

oh god yeah!!

after graduation party, walking down grafton street to go get a taxi and these three shamrock rovers fans come up behind us.my mate (a shelbourne fan) decides to abuse them for their choice of team!! i decide to try and calm them down as they're starting on him.they turn on me and i got hit 5 times by 3 lads in they're mid 20's.bear in mind im only 19 and im not really a big guy!! i had to be told that all this happened the next day!!!

woke up the next morning and couldnt open my mouth! turns out that one of the punches nearly broke my jaw and it was frozen in place!! scared the crap outta me.couldnt talk for ages

togster

Once woke up in the toilet of the train from galway to dublin and on an unrelated note woke up with a big fat naked arse in my face. Didn't wait around to see who it belonged to...:eek:

Rob_l

the daily mail had a story similiar to this thread yesterday
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html?in_article_id=491668&in_page_id=1770

includes pics of drunk foolish wimmins

Agamemnon

leninbenjamin wrote: »

I once thought it would be a good idea to cycle home when blind drunk once. all the memories that i have of that night involve me falling off, sometimes on the road i think. it's amazing that over the 3 miles i didn't kill myself really. mangled up my trousers pretty bad too.

Ah, good ol' drunken cycling. I cycled home one night at about 4 o'clock, plastered drunk. The trip should have taken about 15 minutes but I took a few detours and it took well over an hour. I remember trying to cycle in soft sand on a beach at one stage and later doing laps around a graveyard. I fell off countless times and was covered in bruises the next day. I had a naggin of vodka with me and the weird thing is it never broke. I found it in my coat pocket the next day, unopened and undamaged.

Staggering home drunk on an icy night is also a good way to batter yourself. One night I fell dozens of times in a 20 minute walk. I woke up in bed the next day bruised all over and fully clothed, with my shoes still on and wearing a beret I found on the street somewhere. Good times.

The bruises that you can't remember getting are the best though. My friend calls them U.D.I. - Unidentified Drinking Injuries.

kevmy

Yeah I woken up with a fair share of drunken injuries, but nearly always at home I'm like an old dog I'll always find a way back to where I'm staying no matter how unfamiliar I am with the city.

Was in Berlin for a weekend over the summer and we had to leave the hotel for the flight home around 6.30 or so. Of course we decided to drink straight through however around 4.30 am we couldn't get in anywhere so we start walking back some of mates take a detour and suddenly theres just 2 of us. My other mates spots this place and reckons it's still open so he heads in immediately pays a tenner including free drink great he thinks. Me following behind realises he's just gone into a strip joint so I have to follow him in to bring him out. Shall we just say what followed was the surrealist hour and a half of my life. Ignoring these women while drinking my free drink and trying to persuade my mate to leave cause we have to get back to the hotel while he tries to chat up the barmaid of the strip bar.

Other stories but can't remember/shouldn't be publicly revealed/too lazy too type them

youcancallmeal

After a session in a mates house I was stumbling home. Twas a cold night so I had my hands in my pocket. I unfortunately tripped on the lip of a curb and went straight down on my face before I could get my hands out of my pockets. Sure fire way to get a broken nose

Exact same thing happened the next week except that I was sober and I couldn't get my hands up to protect my face cos I was texting someone. My friends all had a good laugh, my doctor didn't though.

briantwin

Haha,
I remember,I went over to Germany to see aphex twin play. Got completely boxpiped and with the heat and the excitement had to be brought to the medical tent.I dont recall getting there ut i woke up on this little cot with a drip in my arm and some man nurse(freaky enough) tinkerin with the drip in my arm.So i pretended to be asleep then hopped off the cot and ran as fast as i could out of the medical tent....I was weavin like a eamon dunphy behind the wheel.Next thing i know...................Its 15 minutes later and I wake up and im starin at man nurse again with another drip in my arm. He said i got about 30 yards!! TBO i was impressed.

Pompey Magnus

I was walking back to my new home after a night out a couple of years ago, I didn't know the area but I decided to take a shortcut down a small hill which I drunkenly calculated should lead me straight back to the house instead of taking the long route along the road. It had been raining earlier so the grass was wet, I started walking down the slope but momentum, wet grass and gravity soon took over, I progressed from walking to jogging to running down this hill and unable to slow myself.

When I neared the bottom of the hill I could see a barbed wire fencing blocking my path onto the road ahead but still unable to stop, I ended up having to divert myself sideways and ran into a tree, luckily I managed to twist myself around so my shoulder took the brunt of the collision before bouncing backwards into the muck. I then proceeded to climb the barbed wire fence only to discover that I was on the wrong road .

I woke up the next morning with an aching shoulder and my trousers covered in muck.

aido182

Got locked into night clubs...twice