Terrified...physically sick.Help!

LegacyUser

Ok here it goes im really terrified because im 21 year old a sad loner who cant get a girlfriend..... so i visit street prostitutes and escorts.....2 street girls and 1 escort to be exact.....ive always had protected sex and on only one occasion was fluid past on my behalf.....and im completely paranoid that I have caught something terrible and keep having these horrible thoughts that its hiv or something serious.I really wanna go and get checked out but have read up that it takes up to 3-6 months for hiv to show up.I sometimes am physically sick from worrying,burst into tears and even have suicidal thoughts because of this and dont know what to do?I dont mean to be crude but I out a finger in an intimate part of the girls body which had a tiny winy little cut...could this be a factor?Im sorry if this dosent belong in here but im an emotional wreck and have no one to turn to.Has anybody got any advice on what I should and Could do?Also this is a 100 percent truthful post in no way am I trolling or anything just completely honest.Please help me.

dudara

Right, what's done is done. It's what you do now that matters.

Get yourself to an STD clinic (either private or public) and get yourself checked out. In the meantime, abstain from sexual activity that could place you, or a partner, further at risk. At the clinic you will have all the timeframes and risks explained to you. Private can be less stressful but will cost more.

There is a sticky at the top of this forum for STI clinics in Ireland.

davyjose

Ok, first off, be realistic, it's very unlikely you've contracted hiv. I'm not saying it's a no-no. But it's unlikely. This worry is doing you no good (BTW I know how you feel - I waited a year for an STD test once and I spent much of that time scared), so go get checked.
Assuming it comes back clear, you need to take a look in the mirror. The fact that you say you use the phrase "sad loner who cannot get a girlfriend" makes you unlikely to rectify this. Whatever aspect of you it is that makes you feel this way, is probably what makes you this way, if you see what I mean. Go talk to someone, find out why you have such (obvious) self-esteem issues. And move on from there.

EamonnKeane

Even if she had a serious blood-borne disease, the chances of it sneaking in under your fingernail and into the bloodstream are tiny.

ck66

Majority of the time HIV is only contracted through sexual activity and the sharing of needles where body fluids come into contact with each other ( blood, semen, breast milk and urine). under the finger nail is highly unlikely that u have contracted it imo. still and all i would get tested for other std's to be sure.
in my opinion it sounds that you are literally worrying yourself sick and also having low self esteem issues also plays an important factor. from working in the area of hiv i came into daily contact with poeple living with the virus and and out of 560 people nearly 60% were through sexual intercourse (semen) and the rest through the sharing of needles.

Try not to worry as there is very very litle chance that you have not contracted it. visit your gp and discuss your concerns further to make you feel more at ease.

LegacyUser

I went to a strip club on holidays with friends and gave a stripper oral sex, i also fingered her and had my finger in my mouth. (I was absoutely hammered by the way, but no excuse).

I was worried sick and the second i got home i booked myself into a private clinic for an STI test.

When i got there, i explained my situation to the doctor and he said there has been ZERO cases of anyone catching hiv from oral sex on a woman, i explained the finger in my mouth and he said no, it's unheard of..

With the private clinic, they'll take blood and in a week give you the results but yes, you have to wait at least three months before HIV will show up in a test, so i've to go back in like two and get another blood test to make sure all is ok.

Be calm mate, i know it's hard cause i **** pricks for the best part of my holiday. You'll be grand, i'd be my house on it! But get the test anyway, no harm!

Canis Lupus

Everything as said above and stop visiting prostitutes. There's better things to spend money on.

Like pornsites!

LouOB

I dont know quite what to say....

But dont worry but the theme here is LEARN FROM YOUR MISTAKES
Anyone can make mistakes and do silly stuff in the heat of the moment, usually drunk....but take responsibility and get clean bill of health. Scary but would you put someone else at risk, that you care about, by not getting tests done?

Gain courage from the fact that could have caught nothing and had lucky escape

AngryBadger

Go and get an STD check first. In all likelihood you do not have HIV, but this isn't a medical board, the only way to set your mind at ease is to go and get checked out.

Go easy on yourself with the worrying, we've all been there, me included, (and I rock pretty hard so that's saying something ).

Once you've cleared that up and gotten a clean bill of health, then start thinking about what else you need to sort out. As regards the idea of being,

unreg3369 wrote:

a sad loner who cant get a girlfriend

Look, again, we've all felt pretty low at times. If there's someone close to you that you feel you can trust then go and talk to them. If you feel that's a bridge too far, then at least consider talking to a professional. At the very least you'll be able to get a better perspective on why you have such a negative view of yourself, and that's a step in the right direction.

Best of luck man.

watna

unreg3369 wrote: »

21 year old a sad loner who cant get a girlfriend

There's no such thing as not being able to "get" a girlfriend. You don't go qnd hunt them down you know! You just haven't met the right girl. As my granny always says every oul stocking meets an oul shoe. You will meet someone that things will be easy with but you may need to work on your confidence a bit. I always think that you need to be confident in yourself before you can expect someone else to love you. If you go around thinking you are a sad loser then how can you expect anyone else to think differently? I'm sure you're not a loser... I really don't think there's any such thing. Everybody has their good points and things that make them different and you just have to recognise and celebrate yours (sorry, that make sound a bit hallmark cardy but it's what I believe, I used to be very hard on myself and realising that has really helped me)

As for being worried about STDS etc, just go get checked out. Whatever happens it has to be better then not knowing. As a worrier myself I know that you can make things seem worse by thinking things over and over again in your head.

JMCD

I echo what everyone else said....whats done is done you cant change anything....so get yourself checked out asap and just remain positive about the hiv test when it does come around.I think there is a very high statistic in YOUR favour of catching the disease even without a condom....and the fact that you used one you shoul be ok....fingers crossed.There is just one small problem that im not sure about...you said you inserted a finger which had a tiny little cut on it into her intimate part(vagina?).....not really sure wether this could be a problem or not so any one clear this up?

Also I think you should look for some professinal counselling to help you through this difficult period....and beyond.

All in all I wish you the very best and hope everything works out.