Meaning of life stuff????

LegacyUser

I finished college in May. Had a pretty relaxing summer of just lazying around. Started a fantastic job in August, great money, great perks and all that. The work is tuff, hours are longish but its in the area that I studied in college for 4 years so I find it interesting enough. I don’t LOVE my job by any means but does any one LOVE what they do. I guess you work to have money and survive right? I’ve always tried to have a view of ‘Work to live and not live to work’ so I try take it in my stride.

I had a girlfriend back before the summer. Jets call her ‘Mary’ (not her real name) We brook up back in May as she lives in America and I live in Ireland. Towards the end I was pushing her away. I wasn’t being an A$$hole in anyway, I guess I was emotionally distant as well as being physically distant from her and she couldn’t take it anymore. I guess that distance was why the break up didn’t really upset me that much.

I saw one other girl since then and it was short and sweet. I met her on a two week trip away and it was lots of fun but again we live in different countries and knowing from my last girlfriend that long distances don’t work we both decided it was not a good idea not to carry on. And I was happy with that. We mail each other every now and again. Almost like pen pals I guess.

I have a half dozen people in my life that I consider best friends! I would really do anything for these people. I love them like they were my family.

Both my parents are still alive and I have one brother. I love my family. I should really tell them more how much I love them but I know they know and I know they love me. My brother is also one of my best friends. I am very close to my brother and I miss him as he works in another country. I’ve told him I miss him and he’s told me he misses me. Like I said, we are really close, but I am also happy for him as he is doing what he loves.

So that’s the 4 mian things in my life. The 4 main things in anyones life? I’m open to a 5th or 6th but to me its 4. Work, Love/girlfriends, Friends, Family!

I was talking to ‘Mary’ the other night on skype. We are still in contact and still very good friends. But something struck me and boy did it hit me like a massive snow shovel in the face and man it hurt. We were having a very in depth conversation about each others life and we both came to a realisation that I am extremely unhappy with my life. I didn’t realise just how unsatisfied I am. I seem to have I decent life from the 4 things above. Ok, the relationship side needs a bit of work but I am still young. Nothing gets me excited. I don’t have anything to strive for. I am just contempt with EVERY aspect of my life and I have had little to no motivation to change it.

I don’t really know how to explain it. Its like my life is passing me by and I am not really doing anything. I have no goal, no dream. I do know I want to be happy. Is that a goal? Is that a dream?

To be honest I don’t even have a summing up conclusion to what I just wrote. I just wrote it to get what I’ve been feeling down on paper and seeing what people think. Please feel free to comment.

Latchy

At least by posting it here now you have some perspective on it .Lots of people go through life not knowing what it is they want to do with it ie, career wise, and some people are lucky and know from an early age what it is they want to do in life ie ,singer, actor, policeman, bus driver, mechanic ,etc ,i consider those people who know what they want out of life to be lucky although achieving it is another matter . I can relate to what your saying OP

leninbenjamin

meh... everyone has those days. just do what you enjoy doing

I don’t LOVE my job by any means but does any one LOVE what they do. I guess you work to have money and survive right? I’ve always tried to have a view of ‘Work to live and not live to work’ so I try take it in my stride.

perhaps that's the issue here. you've always "tried." does that mean you're forcing yourself to accept it? if you're not fully happy doing something don't get stuck doing it for the next 50 years. You should enjoy life in all areas, work isn't just a time killer... but it can become that if you let it.

McGinty

Hi Op

It sounds like your life is lacking passion and I don't just mean romantic/sexual passion, I mean the feeling of being excited by your work/friends/fun stuff. It sounds to me you need to find one passion, at times my life can be pretty crap but thankfully in recent years I have one passion and that has sustained me through losing a family member via suicide, dealing with various demons and I could go on. I am lucky that in what I do workwise sustains me (okay I am student but will get work in the field I study in) but it has saved me and kept me going. Find your passion, be it through work, volunteering, some community based work, a sport or hobby and this will give some meaning to your life. With regards to happiness, I believe we can have happy moments, but cannot be happy all the time. You do not have to settle for a mediocre job or a mediocre life, but you need to find out what fills you with joy.

TomMc

Chin up, you are still very young and seem to have a lot to be thankful for. On the job front, once you don't hate it and it is in a field you are interested in & it pays well, that cannot be bad. I had a job once and I felt my life was stuck in a rut, so I packed it in. Had another job I loved but would not pay the bills so had to get another. Few people are lucky enough to have a great job that they really love. Lots of people have mortgages and so have to put up with an OK job at best, many others forced to stick with ones they really dislike just to stay afloat. It's the norm in modern Ireland.

You would appear to have a good relationship with your own family & have a few very good friends. I'd say that again is well above the norm. Make the most of the time you spend with them, especially your parents. My father died when I was 18 and my mum when I was 37, so you don't always get the opportunity to give back as much as they put in growing up. Make the most of them.

Your love life (or relative lack of) seems to be getting you down. I look on it that a love life is a bonus, not a necessity. You have to be somewhat self-contained and not feel you must have another to be complete. Switch off to the idea and you will find that the best girls are the only ones who will make an impression on you. One step backwards, two steps forward. You need to have some other interests though to balance out your leisure time. Take up some sporting hobby to burn off the work stress or intellectual interest to broaden the mind. Adds a bit of variety to life. Be positive.

syberspud

Chin up, you are still very young and seem to have a lot to be thankful for. On the job front, once you don't hate it and it is in a field you are interested in & it pays well, that cannot be bad. I had a job once and I felt my life was stuck in a rut, so I packed it in. Had another job I loved but would not pay the bills so had to get another. Few people are lucky enough to have a great job that they really love. Lots of people have mortgages and so have to put up with an OK job at best, many others forced to stick with ones they really dislike just to stay afloat. It's the norm in modern Ireland.

You would appear to have a good relationship with your own family & have a few very good friends. I'd say that again is well above the norm. Make the most of the time you spend with them, especially your parents. My father died when I was 18 and my mum when I was 37, so you don't always get the opportunity to give back as much as they put in growing up. Make the most of them.

Your love life (or relative lack of) seems to be getting you down. I look on it that a love life is a bonus, not a necessity. You have to be somewhat self-contained and not feel you must have another to be complete. Switch off to the idea and you will find that the best girls are the only ones who will make an impression on you. One step backwards, two steps forward. You need to have some other interests though to balance out your leisure time. Take up some sporting hobby to burn off the work stress or intellectual interest to broaden the mind. Adds a bit of variety to life. Be positive.

QFT.

the_syco

Dude, chill. You got it easy, so relax. Many people out there running around like headless f**king chickens would like to be in your situation.

To be happy in ones life, not striving to do anything. Was doing that a while back. It sucks, but enjoy it, cos when you hit a bump in the road of life, you'll be trying to get back to that "happy place".

As for nothing exciting you, look around. Think back to when you were a kid: ever think of doing something, but never got to do it? Could be something small, or a place you wanted to go to.

Also, I know it's a cliche, but join a club. By joining a club, you'll meet people who would usually be out of your sphere. For example, join the RDF (the FCA's new name), a hillwalking club, or something, and you'll come across people who seek out different things.

You'll find weird hobbies, new perspectives on idea's, and you may find something that "clicks" with you.

I used to play computer games, only on single player, but I came across someone who was into multiplayer games, over the (dial-up) internet. Before then, I never thought to use the internet in that way.

By this I mean that by expanding your sphere of people you know, with hobbies that you mightened usually do, you may find a new interest, in either a new angle of what you now do, or maybe a completely new hobby.

Life isn't a rehearsal.

Kuz_3040

You have to look at the positives in your life not the negatives im not saying that you are not allowed to be pessimistic but you have to draw a balance between that