Can I conquer this?

LegacyUser

Sorry if this all over the place, im in need of sleep at the momment.

Today I was walking around town and there was a girl waiting to use the ATM. Me and one of my mates where walking towards her and caught her eye 3 times (looking away then back) so I guess she was interested in me. Maybe she was looking behind me or my mate (I doubt that one) but im 99% sure it was me.

I have no confidence with chatting up women. Even if I did what would I say?

Like there is this girl around college who is the year below me and I have never talked to her but yet im mad into her. I am in her one of her classes that is how I know she is the year below me. I know you will say 'sit beside her in the next class' not so easy when the class had 350 students in it and not enough room for everyone. Ive seen her twice around college but she had about 5 of her girlfriends. Im in a small town where you will see all the students from the college out during the week and I have never seen her out.

I know I cant just be waiting for the best opportunity but I dont have enough confidence.

Ever since I left school (I went to a mixed school) I very few female friends but that also has to do with the course im doing (lets just say its male dominated).

How am I going to conquer this fear of chatting up women?

guest

I suffer with nervousness alot. it used to be really bad---like if someone even looked at me my face would burn, I'd sweat, my heart would thump really fast etc...so you can imagine what I was like around girls.

Then I realised what had me so scared: I thought I was different. Like everyone else was cool and friendly and confident and quirky, whereas I was one big blank slate with nothing interesting or funny to say.

Here's what to do when next you see this girl or anyone else: smile. trust me, it does alot. It's important that you smile, not smirk (I did the latter at first, unintentionally). Smiling really brings out your inner kindness, and trust me girls warm to a good smile.

Then, say hi. just nice and simple. You don't need a witty one-liner. Most of the time that turns a girl off cos she thinks you approach gals all the time. I didn't do this myself but I've seen it happen and it only really works if you're self-deprecating, which is difficult to pull off!

If she smiles back, you're halfway there. Remember, you're a complete stranger, so a response like that is definitely a sign of hope. Nothing major, but she doesn't wanna burn you to the ground, which is reassuring.

See, most people are nervous around others. most hide it behind humour or ego. the few who show their true selves tend to win a girl's heart easier becuase there is no hint of cover-up or pretense. Your eyes and expressions and genuine chitchat will get you their number. just ask their name, and laugh about nhow when you smiled she smiled, which made you smile some more. Don't try to be someone else, if she's not interested then she doesn't deserve you.

If you would like any help or advice feel free to PM me and I'll get right back to you. if I've bullsh1tted I apologise, but I just want you to know that I sympathise and completely understand where you're coming from. Confidence comes from the knowledge that you are a unique and interesting person. If you become comfortable in your own skin, then the lady-world is your oyster (and I mean that in the funniest, non-sexist way possible ladies:D)

LegacyUser

the most important thing is to be able to talk to them, talk as much as you can to any girl you know. build up your confidence.

JohnnyStones

How do you know she was looking at you in a *sexy wanna funk you* way?

Where you wearing a tracksuit?

Have you or your friend got skinheads haircuts?

Maybe she was looking at you so that if you do rob her, she'd be able to give the garda a good description

KIVES

JohnnyStones wrote: »

How do you know she was looking at you in a *sexy wanna funk you* way?

Where you wearing a tracksuit?

Have you or your friend got skinheads haircuts?

Maybe she was looking at you so that if you do rob her, she'd be able to give the garda a good description

Don't be such a cynic - situations like you describe happen every minute - they used to happen to me quite regularly and like you I would be full of doubt and wonder was it me she was looking at...thankfully I came from that and tried very hard to develop a 'f**k it' attitude - the next time it happened was in a well known bakery in the centre of town - I just bought two piping hot scones and gave them to the girl - As they were too hot she thanked me for them but asked would I hold them until they cooled - happily I have been going with 'that' girl for over three years now - So you see...things can work out

JohnnyStones

KIVES wrote: »

Don't be such a cynic - situations like you describe happen every minute - they used to happen to me quite regularly and like you I would be full of doubt and wonder was it me she was looking at...thankfully I came from that and tried very hard to develop a 'f**k it' attitude - the next time it happened was in a well known bakery in the centre of town - I just bought two piping hot scones and gave them to the girl - As they were too hot she thanked me for them but asked would I hold them until they cooled - happily I have been going with 'that' girl for over three years now - So you see...things can work out

Yeah before the *accident* before you got a troll face!!:)

and by the way SCONES suck monkey nuts

only old women and gay men(sorry gays)eat scones

eroo

Don't forget priests JS

cue unruly mob shouting ' your going to hell boy!'

JohnnyStones

eroo wrote: »

Don't forget priests JS

cue unruly mob shouting ' your going to hell boy!'

I own hell:)

KIVES

JohnnyStones wrote: »

Yeah before the *accident* before you got a troll face!!:)

and by the way SCONES suck monkey nuts

only old women and gay men(sorry gays)eat scones

Seriously jOHNNY...a thought would die of utter loniliness in your head...WE're trying to help this guy out with useful anecdotes as comparison from our own lives and all you can do is dish on us...

curiousxxx1

JohnnyStones wrote: »

How do you know she was looking at you in a *sexy wanna funk you* way?

Where you wearing a tracksuit?

Have you or your friend got skinheads haircuts?

Maybe she was looking at you so that if you do rob her, she'd be able to give the garda a good description

LMAO
OP have you not heard of look but not touch????? Back to the basics, erm chat every girl you come across. Some might like you or not but as they say "experience is the best teacher"

eroo

JohnnyStones wrote: »

I own hell:)

Oooh thank Go.... wait..Thank Johnny Stones..:D

dudara

JohnnyStones banned for one week.

Contact me or another mod in one week to have the ban lifted.

dudara

AARRRGH

Can you talk to men?

Women are human too you know. And if anything, they're generally more insecure, sensitive and gentle than men. So if you talk to them nothing bad will happen...

Also, you don't have to approach them on the street just naturally get chatting to them if something funny happens when you're standing by the bar, or if you're at a party...

Another thing about women which is really handy: they prefer to do the talking, so just ask them questions about their favorite topic (themselves) and listen, making the odd funny comment. They'll think you're a great conversationist

Oh another thing - although you might be feeling like a spa on the inside, chances are you don't actually look or sound like a spa, so don't worry if you're not being completely smooth or hilarious or whatever. Just relax and be yourself and treat women like the normal humans they are!