Helping friends quit smoking...

jmcwobbles

I was a smoker ever since I was about 10 - getting up to 20/30 a day from the time I was in college (I'm 27 now). I quit (Allen Carr) in Nov 2005 only to fall off the wagon in Oct 2006. Since I went back on them I never enjoyed them again, and quit again over 2 months ago - after making the mistake of "just one cigarette" after a year of being free of them, I know that I will never smoke a cigarette again.

I have a friend who is an extremely heavy smoker, and is unhealthy in a lot of other ways (e.g. bad diet, low self esteem, as well as smoking related problems like regular bouts of bronchitis). She thinks I am great for quitting smoking and keeps talking about quitting herself. I found Allen Carr to be a great method and found it quite easy myself, and found ever easier this time around because I never enjoyed smoking after falling off the wagon. My question is this: What is the best way for me to help my friend quit cigarettes without sounding too much like a self-righteous "reformed smoker" or sounding like I'm preaching at her?? I worry about her quite a bit, and would absolutely love to help her with any aspect of her health/emotional problems, and the smoking is the one thing she is actually talking about herself.

I have already loaned her my Allen Carr book and she never even got half way through (I'm not criticising, I did the same thing about 20 times before actually finishing the book and quitting). She does try to go a few days without a cigarette and I encourage her saying well done you, stick with it - but she doesn't understand the basic problem that all smokers have when trying to quit - you cannot have "just one cigarette"! It pains me to hear her saying all the time how much she wants to be off the cigs and not being able to do anything to help her

I just got this email from her:
Right i am seeing if i can stop smoking for the whole month of Nov.if i can do that i can give up for sure!

I know the way she thinks and even if she did last the whole month of November, she would only spend that time counting down the time to being "allowed" have another cigarette instead of enjoying the fact that she doesn't need to smoke anymore - so I don't know how to react.

I would really appreciate any advice...

Archeron

Try to point her towards this forum if possible. Many methods work for many different people, and there is some really good advice in here from all sorts of people.
I know what you mean about the "self righteous ex smoker" thing too, I was very conscious of it for ages, but I think if its gentle advice as opposed to stern criticism, its always appreciated. I'm sure if she is a good friend, she will understand that you have her interests at heart.

jmcwobbles

Yeah good idea I will tell her to have a look here alright, she could find something here. She's not really a forums-y kinda girl but hopefully she'll at least have a look... It would be so great to see her off the smokes - cos you know yourself, once you quit smoking you feel so good about yourself for doing that, you find yourself making changes in other areas in your life cos you kinda have the "if I could quit smoking I can do anything" attitude.

Well that's how I felt anyway

Yeah she wouldn't accuse me of being self-righteous or anything, she knows that I would just love her to quit smoking. I'm just always paranoid that I'm coming across as Miss High-and-Mighty - with anybody, not just her - and try to avoid preaching at people!

Terry

You'll find very little preaching here.

While I am the forum mod, this place pretty much runs itself and lots of good advise is given.

Tell her to check out the stickies at the top.