Dating girl with kid

Sgt Slaughter

Ok so heres the predicament, f**k it ill be completely honest see what happens, right theres a girl i like we went for a few drinks at the weekend, end up having the good night kiss and thats it. She has a 2 year old child, separated from the father et all. Im not interested in a relationship at the moment as im just not in a place where i want one and am enjoying life currently and prick as this next sentence is i dont want to stick to one girl, i like going on the pull, but im also not a prick or a Ross O'Carroll Kelly type (for those whove read the books). But I am afraid of two things with this girl
1. That i would hurt the girl (it seems much worse to hurt someone who has a kid other than simply a girl my age who doesnt) or that she will want more than just casual dating from me and thats not likely to happen.
2. That like a strike of lightning i end up falling for this girl and then im in the deep end of a relationship because its immediately more serious as their is also a child involved.

If this girl hadnt a kid there would be no issue here, this is the first time ive ever gone on a date with a girl who has a child, it simply seems odd
Advice appreciated.

Nevyn

Who says she wants more then casual dating ?
How says she woudl want a bloke like you to meet her child ?
Just because you have had 1 date does not mean she wants to play house with you.
Why not goin on a another date and talk about it with her.

BoozyBabe

I appreciate your complete honesty & I think she would too.

If your not at the stage of your life where one woman is enough for you, then why is this even an issue?

A lot of single mums I know play it very cautiously anyway as a way of protecting their child from seeing a 6 different men in their life each year, so I doubt very much that she's gonna be into anything too seriously too soon.

Just be honest with her. Tell her you're not ready for a serious monogamist relationship yet, or the responsibility of children.

I think she'll appreciate you being straight up with her.

star-pants

Agreed - she may just want some company for a while (ie nothing too serious). And a lot of single parents who date don't introduce dates to the child until it's something that's going to be more than a few dates.
I would see how things go - as Thaedydal said - on the next date perhaps broach the subject of the type of relationship she's after.

padser

I'd be seriously inclined to let this one slide and not go out with her again.

Your best case scenario is that you go on a couple of casual dates, maybe get a bit of action, and then leave it at that.

Is that best case scenario worth risking any of the sub optiminal scenarios that you have mentioned?? I really don't think so.


I think this is a case of plenty more fish in the sea.....

davyjose

Sgt Slaughter wrote: »

Ok 2. That like a strike of lightning i end up falling for this girl and then im in the deep end of a relationship because its immediately more serious as their is also a child involved.

Yeah and it's something you have to think very strongly about. I was in the same situation as you myself and I decided to go for it. I'm now very happy and very much in love. And having the child (she's 3) is amazing. She's awesome and I feel privileged to be part of her life.
The essence of what I'm saying, I guess, is that this ort of relationship can surprise you, and REALLY make you feel very fulfilled. So don't be afraid of it, but don't take it lightly either.

Peared

Gotta say its interesting that you assume you are the one in the driving seat that will be making all the decisions here. You are assuming because she is a single parent that she will want "more" from you. You are also assuming that if you fall for her she will feel the same way. You are also assuming that she will be hurt if you dont want a relationship.

I find it bizarre that men think because a woman has a child she is out to snare a husband. Maybe she doesnt want a relationship with you. Or anyone. If a fella had kids would women be assuming he was wanting deep and meaningful relationships just because he wanted to go on a date and have some fun.

Best thing you can do imo is treat it and her like you would any other date. You like her, you see her again. You dont, then you dont. Who knows, maybe she'll make that decision for you. You could be seeing the girl for a year and not so much as meet the child if thats what she wanted.

Id say you're thinking about this a lot more than she is.