Ex still lingers on...

Newbielad1

Have a bit of a problem, have been going out with and living with gf for 3 years, getting to stage where marriage is on the cards, i met an ex over bank holiday weekend, i was very drunk and just remember feeling very positive about it, for whatever reason, i cannot remember,feel like getting her no to talk to her as very rarely see her, its been 3-4 years since going out with her, which i know is a long time, hadnt even seen her for a couple of years,I would consider myself attractive and have broke hearts myself in my time,so reasoned maybe what comes around goes around with her, that is why this is really bugging me, unsure whether or not to call her, would have to call her home for number, when we broke up initially swore i would not let this affect me like this, or this kind of thing happen, on previous times when i met her, was grand with it all, as i believe current gf to be brillant, just there were things i did with previous one that i never do now.....would appreciate some advice...current gf knows all about past with her, and its something that she teases me about the odd time...

super_furry

Advice? Don't be an idiot and focus on your future, not your past.

Newbielad1

I appreciate the answer, part of me is unsure whether thats all, part of me wants to see what happened and move on and i believe best way to do it would be to call her, pi_ssed off that was so drunk when met her, its the not knowing that is bugging me...

Talliesin

Not knowing what?

Funnily enough, I heard from an ex by chance recently. So, we caught up as you do when you meet someone you haven't seen in years. That's pretty much it; old friend, back in touch, mostly nice to hear from them bit sad also (catching up on ten years with anyone is likely to contain some tragedy and alas that was the case here).

If that's how it'll be for you then go for it. Get in touch with an old friend again.

If that's not how it'll be for you, then stay away.

The very fact that your asking this question suggests it could be the latter, though.

padser

I'd say go for it, you never know where it might lead to - with a little bit of luck you might even be able to have your cake AND eat it!!!!

What harm by just making an effort to get her number....

babyguinnessfan

I'd have to agree with Talliesin...if it's just a case of wanting to have a general catch-up chat then that should be fine- but it probably shouldn't be bugging you as much as you say it does. I sometimes think of my ex and I know that I'd have a great chat with him if we ever met up (unlikely as he is abroad) but I have to say that that is all I would ever expect or want from him, as I am really happy with my bf.
With your mention of breaking hearts in the past (and underlying possibility that you miss it?) it does sound a bit like you want some attention from someone other than your current girlfriend and your ex just happens to be someone that could fulfil that need.
My advice would be to not contact your ex - if you run into her again then so be it but don't go getting yourself into a situation whereby you might actually subconsciously want something else and end up regretting it...
Hope it works out for you.

Newbielad1

Thanks for msgs, its more to call and catch up, would have thought when it ended that would see more of her and anytime i did was grand, been a few years now , and cant get the thought that something happened out of my mind, its driving me nuts, will have to call this afternoon and talk to her....better that than feeling this way, my gf is great by the way, this is different, friend who i was with sat night, said i went off my own for a bit, if any of the lads could tell me what happened then i wouldnt be phoning her, its the not knowing that is bugging me, thanks for humouring me with this,

Newbielad1

Still havent phoned, wish i could say i was in my teens but i'm not , am early 30s and feeling this way, very busy at work so never had the chance, maybe its a gud thing, ah f**k it, thanks again

SarahSassy

Let it rest and donr drag up the past any more than you have already.... So you dont want to catch up with her you just really want to know if you got off with her and you dont remember???

If you have any respect for your gf you would leave it alone.

Talliesin

Newbielad1 wrote: »

its the not knowing that is bugging me

Not knowing what?

Newbielad1

Not knowing how i was, took a while to get over that girl, and decided best way was to throw myself out there so to speak, that is what is eating me, after all that , was I in control or was i not, hard to explain to someone who doesnt know what its like, havent phoned yet anyway, want to do so to get it out of the way, will probably tell gf about it as well, its not about the past, this in itself is moving on...

Think Nicklebacks first video and this girl had same effect on me...