Worried

LegacyUser

My boyfriend is under a lot of pressure in his final year in college. He gets very stressed out and angry and can't keep his anger in he just lets it out, be it roaring or smashing things. I'm very worried about him, i love him so much and i don't want a college course to ruin him and make him feel this way. He's thinking about dropping out for the year. I know he's very close to finishing but i almost feel it would be better for him at this stage, as his mental health is more important. What do other people think about this?

star-pants

I'm not sure how much advice this is - but I can say that in my final year in college I snapped...
we were all a bit nuts especially towards the end. I threw things in frustration (not at people by the way!) cried over silly things, got soooo worked up, you nearly wanted to throw it all away. But having my friends there helped. As you said he's close to finishing and taking a year off may or may not help (I had a friend who pulled out 2 months before end of degree year and she took a year out, came back, ended up deferring because the stress was too much again) I'm not saying that will happen to him - but if it's something that's not dangerous to him/people around him - he might be able to get through it. Final year is SUCH a tough time, with so much pressure, I've seen people crack under it.

You know him best - so you know if this is regular stress or something that really should be addressed.
If it's getting to him so much that he can't cope - then perhaps he should see a counsellor in the college - get their advice too. His mental health is far more important - he can always return to college. Just support him as best you can (I'm sure you are ) and perhaps get him to seek advice.

best of luck

mostlycircles

star-pants wrote: »

You know him best - so you know if this is regular stress or something that really should be addressed.
If it's getting to him so much that he can't cope - then perhaps he should see a counsellor in the college - get their advice too. His mental health is far more important - he can always return to college. Just support him as best you can (I'm sure you are ) and perhaps get him to seek advice.

I agree with star-pants! Im not in my final year just yet, but i have a lot of friends who are and i see them getting more and more stressed as their finals approach. I think you should really just be there for him and most importantly be understanding!! Whatever you do, don't get mad at him back if you know it's because he's worried and stressed. All you can do is support him...but as SP said, if things get worse, he should probably go see a councillor.

I dont think you should let him drop out..it will fix things temporarily but if he gives college another shot a bit later, and he ends up in the same stressed/upset state...it'll just make it worse!! If he pyulls it through...he will see soon after the exams that it was all worth the hard work.
Encourage him to continue and help him where you can...make his friends and family aware of how he is feeling...perhaps they dont see him act like that?? This way they can also be more understanding and supportive. But dont publicise it too much either...im sure he feels most comfortable around you, as his girlfriend, and perhaps feels that he can express himself most around you..!

Hope that helped a little!!!!:)

Electric

Perhaps he could talk to the college counsellor? I totally agree with the other posters final year was a killer the stress was unbelieveable. I mean I knew I'd be under pressure to get a good result but I never really anticipated how stressful and difficult it would be!

I remember being so stressed about an assignment that I started it over and over again feeling like it wasn't good enough. Eventually this went on until the day before it was due and I had to go talk to me lecturer. He was really sound about it made me hand up the 3 different versions I had helped me pick the best one and gave me advice on how to finish it.

I think I would have lost my rag completely if I hadn't done that.

Talk to your boyfriend see if he will talk to the college counsellor or a lecturer. They all know how stressed students get and they may be able to give practical advice on how to make the load a bit lighter.

Hope it works out!

LegacyUser

I went through the same thing with my boyf when he was in his final year. Having to study/work and make time for a relationship got very hard for him. I found the best thing to do was just to give him his own space/time alone. Don't hound him about not paying you any attention or making time for you and he will be through it in no time. Just be there for him to help him through. I have to agree with the other posters too, if it is getting way too much for him he should contact the college counsellors for some sound advice....