My GF is too protective of our son

eoinhealy

Hi,

My GF gave birth to our son last x-mas morning. She is a great mother but I have been trying to get her to calm down on the whole over-protective thing.

The child is starting to walk on his own, well walking along the coffee table and walls and stuff, but my gf keeps sitting him down or picking him up in case he falls.

Would it not be better to let the child fall a few times so he can learn to balance better. He never hurts himself, he can normally stop him self from doing any damage. He is quite a strong baby.

I have said it to my gf on a number of occasions to let him be, but she just gives out to me and says he will hurt himself. As far as I am concerned, he has to fall to learn to get back up.

She checks on him every 10 or 15 minutes when he is in his cot, sometimes waking him up by accident.

If she does not calm down on the over protectiveness, our son will be a woss that never sleeps LoL.

Any ideas on how I can approach her without it sounding like I'm caller her a bad mother, which she is not.

The_Conductor

How about getting your G/f to join a pre-school group with your child- she will get to meet and chat with other mothers and see how they behave around their babies.

Its not unusual for mothers to be extremely protective with their first children- a little bit of experience and the chance to compare notes with others in a similar situation might possibly be helpful to her.

S.

eoinhealy

Thats a great idea. I will have to make some calls, find out when we can go. I would go with her for a bit of support. Would need to find out her work schedules, she is a chef so her hours are all over the place.

Maybe if I go to one first, then I can bring Steph along and I will be able to introduce her to some of the other parents, that way they wont be so much of strangers.

hhmmm I have a bit to think about. She would think it good idea, but getting her to go is not going to be easy.

I better get back to baby, he is now sitting in a mountain of cloths which he just pulled out of the drawers.



Second thouhts, he looks happy so might just leave him for a bit before his bath.

smirkingmaurice

seems like you have the opposite problem we had, my wife was a bit on the rough side with the chisler, used give him a gentle shoe up the hole if he was naughty etc, don't worry, she will relax soon

KIVES

smirkingmaurice wrote: »

seems like you have the opposite problem we had, my wife was a bit on the rough side with the chisler, used give him a gentle shoe up the hole if he was naughty etc, don't worry, she will relax soon

When we had our third child,all the over-protective triats we had harboured weren't long in disappearing - we just hadn't time - so much so,that by the time the third was six he could ring for a Pizza/a taxi or waltz down the road to the shop on his own...

JohnnyStones wrote: »

Start a fight with him in the morning-(just a pretend fight don't actually hit him)
Tire him out a little bit!

But don't tire him out too much, bullies might see his weakness and start bullying him:eek:

Nevyn

smirkingmaurice banned for breaching the charter.

Oryx

Have you tried talking to her in the same way as you have it written down here? Your first post above doesnt make her sound like a bad mother, quite the opposite. You could put it to her that you dont like her stressing herself quite as much, that easing up might help her a bit? Its tricky tho, the way you deal with your child is a hard habit to change. Tho a pretty good way, as mentioned, is to have more kids. You dont have as much time to watch their every move, and having done it once before, you kinda realise theyre not as breakable as you first thought.

And your son is young. He'll have plenty of rough and tumble with you, and his playmates, and eventually take up hurling and such. All stuff that will make him into a little tough guy.:)

eoinhealy

KtK wrote: »

Have you tried talking to her in the same way as you have it written down here? Your first post above doesnt make her sound like a bad mother, quite the opposite.

And your son is young. He'll have plenty of rough and tumble with you, and his playmates, and eventually take up hurling and such. All stuff that will make him into a little tough guy.:)

Dont get me wrong, she is a bloody good mother. I think it's just because he is our first.

squire1

Have another, that'll soon sort her out

Honestly, it's fairly normal, I'd say, to be a bit overprotective of your first. I have two boys, 3 and 18 months and I can honestly say that the younger lad is as hard as nails compared to our first.

I never ceases to amaze me how resiliant toddlers can be. They get up and run around after knocks that would leave an adult floored.

You and your partner seem to have a good balance between you so I wouldn't sweat it too much. The young fella will not need to be wrapped in cotton wool just because his mum gives him too many hugs.:)

anxie

Hey there,

A friend of mine from Eastern Europe (who had bad English at the time) observed the differing reactions of my wife and I to my daughter who had started crawling at the time
"ah yes, always the same the Mother says 'oh my baby' and the Father he says 'it is fine'..."
My wife is still over protective, she doesn't accept that our kids can do what they have mastered ages ago...

I used to get upset (especially when she snapped at me), but it is part of the dynamic of our parenting now.
If you saw how protective our 3 yr old daugher is of our 6 month old son you might be happy to accept how your gf behaves!
We can't say boo to him without her warning us that 'he's only a baby'!