I'm Going to court to get joint Guardianship and access

Fran35

Hi all

I'm going to court soon to try to get joint guardianship and formalise access times My daughter is only nine months old, she is my first child and all I want to do is care for her and be in her life, unfortunately it seems my ex has different plans. She only lets me see our baby two or three times a week for a half hour each time. My daughter looks at me as though I am a stranger.

I am very anxious about the court hearing and would appreciate any advise you might have in relation to ,what to expect, what i should ask for in terms of access(will I get overnight). What should I be asking my solicitor to do and say.

Thanking you in advance Fran35

Deliverance

Fran35 wrote: »

Hi all

I'm going to court soon to try to get joint guardianship and formalise access times My daughter is only nine months old, she is my first child and all I want to do is care for her and be in her life, unfortunately it seems my ex has different plans. She only lets me see our baby two or three times a week for a half hour each time. My daughter looks at me as though I am a stranger.

I am very anxious about the court hearing and would appreciate any advise you might have in relation to ,what to expect, what i should ask for in terms of access(will I get overnight). What should I be asking my solicitor to do and say.

Thanking you in advance Fran35

Sorry for your troubles, legally I can't comment, but it sounds from what you have said that you are a good father. The mum will in time realise this and give you access. From personal experience I have found that a good mother realises this and consequently gives out access, but it may take time. Patience I guess is the key.

I'm surprised that it went legal so fast though, why did it go that way so quickly?

jimmycrackcorm

OP, i've no advice for you but I wish you the best of luck. you sound like you should deserve it and if you get what you are looking for it will be so worth it.

Carrigart Exile

If you have a wide family network on your side make sure this is known, make sure the court knows how much the child will miss out being kept away from her wider family. Other than that good luck.

Kildrought

Assuming there is nothing untoward in your background you can expect to be granted guardianship. Level of access may depend on the child's age, if your former partner is b/feeding etc., it may be lower than you expect/want at first but you can apply to have it increased.

To be honest, the best way forward is to maintain a good relationship w. your former partner - try and think of it as a business relationship with a valuable, if awkward, client that you have to keep on your side.

Fran35

Thanks for coments lads

Deliverance wrote: »

I'm surprised that it went legal so fast though, why did it go that way so quickly?

Wel to be honest I don't think I had any other option. I was only seeing her twice a week for a half hour, now that even less. She would not consider Mediation and only wanted money in cash payments.(no record) . She was setting me up for a fall. She has a 7 year old child from a previous relationship and has prevented that man from seeing his child. I feel she is doing the same with me. I am not going to let this happen and I am going to let the courts know that I am determined to be in my childs life.

Kildrought! I see where you are coming froom, so far i have been able to keep my cool even when she puts me down. Infact I think the fect that I done confront her in a hostile way upset her more, she is looking for amunition to keep me away .

What do you think of this lads.
I found out that she was moving house last friday and naw I do not know where my child is. I have asked to see her and where she is but I have not been given an address yet .

Goldenquick

I would say the courts would be quite willing to grant you joint guardianship, (unless of course there is a history of abuse towards the woman or something like that, I'm not saying there is but they will & have to be careful of anything like that).

Other than that, make sure you have a good solicitor and that he lets the courts know that your ex has moved, not giving you an address where you can see your child at, that's just wrong imo. I wouldn't perhaps mention that she only wants cash payments, if you disclose that, she's only going to get bitter towards you, or more bitter maybe I should say.

Ayla

OP - I don't have any legal advice, but as for practical advise, I'd suggest keeping it cool and positive in the court proceedings. In other words, make sure you don't add into any mud-slinging your ex may start. If she's really as bad as you've described (and considering the fact that she won't let the father of her other child visit, it sounds like she's pretty bad) then she'll start all sorts of negativity during the trial.

She may make up things, she may call you all sorts, but make sure you have plenty of support and evidence to prove you're not what she's claiming. Make sure the judge understands you've been trying to financially support your daughter, and definitely bring up the fact that the ex moved and gave you no forwarding address. That has the Mr. X court case written all over it.

The more you prove you're a good influence, the worse your ex will look for keeping you away.

All the best luck; your daughter would benefit by having some positive guardanship in her life.

dame

Goldenquick wrote: »

I wouldn't perhaps mention that she only wants cash payments, if you disclose that, she's only going to get bitter towards you, or more bitter maybe I should say.

It may make her bitter but so what, you have to make sure the court knows you have been providing for your child. I hope you have written down all the xact amounts and dates etc. If you can, have a witness to say they've seen you hand over cash (but only if she's saying you haven't given her any money or not as much as you say you have).

Ph3n0m

Speaking as a father who went through this 13 years ago, when single fathers had absolutely no rights, you need to get yourself a good solicitor.

Contact http://www.treoir.ie/ - they can help you with advice, etc

The_Conductor

Ph3n0m wrote: »

Speaking as a father who went through this 13 years ago, when single fathers had absolutely no rights, you need to get yourself a good solicitor.

Contact http://www.treoir.ie/ - they can help you with advice, etc

Well done Ph3n0m- I was about to add this link.....

OP- you need a really really good solicitor.

Goldenquick

dame wrote: »

It may make her bitter but so what, you have to make sure the court knows you have been providing for your child. I hope you have written down all the xact amounts and dates etc. If you can, have a witness to say they've seen you hand over cash (but only if she's saying you haven't given her any money or not as much as you say you have).

The poster did not say that he had given her money in this way, but that she had asked for it in that fashion.

My advice was given because I've seen it happen. When my bro-in-law refused to tow the line a few times, my ex-sister-in-law found ways to stop him seeing the kids, perfectly logical excuses though - could be, "oh xxx1 has a school friend's party on this weekend and will be too tired to go out to you afterwards", or "xxx2 has to babysit tonight and will want to spend tomorrow night with her friends as she'll miss seeing them tonight". If he insisted on seeing them, she would tell the child in question that her Daddy didn't think her seeing her friends was that important, twist on words you see.

When he's gone to his solicitor about it, he's been told, "you're better to sort it out amicably between you, if the kids see you opposing their mother all the time, they're going to feel you have not got their best interests at heart", ie, stopping them seeing their friends etc. In the end it's the kids that will suffer, through the lies of either parent or one or both parents trying to turn them against the other and getting them to take sides. My brother-in-law rarely sees his kids now because of all the s**t & guilt feelings their mother heaped on them.

Fran35

Hello All

sam25

Hi Fran35, my sympathies for your situation.On how to deal with solicitos there are some good pointers in the following link http://www.fathersrightsparty.ie/default2.asp?active_page_id=245
did you locate her?