Whats the deal.

LegacyUser

Hi Guys,

How do I start. I took this girl to my party many moons ago, became good friends with her. She is with this guy who has been with her for a year. She says she loves him, yet last week he wanted a break. Now they are still on and off. She seems so unhappy with him. I dont know what to do about it? He can be a complete ass most of the time to her. I wouldn mind but she is a complete stunner. Probably out of my league, I know that I would treat her better than he would. That isnt even an issue I am happy being friends with her. But how can I make her see the error of her ways. S he seems to be getting depressed aswell.???
Should she see a doctor or something. I am worried for her.

TPD

I've no advice for you, but your a good lad.

bronte

Does she complain about him?
See if you can ask her if she thinks how he's treating her is acceptable.
Or if she mentions something bad that he's done, act outraged at his behaviour..it might make her see the error of her ways.
Sometimes people need a shake so to speak.

biko

Hmmm, the ol' male friend slagging idiot current boyfriend ploy.

Be there for her but don't expect her to fall for you even if she ends it with him.

bronte

Yes I meant to put that in there, I don't know what your feelings are towards her op, but it's unlikely she'll come out of this and jump into another relationship.
You need to be a friend to her.

tbh

what makes you think you are in a better position to make a judgement call on her life than she is? You don't know the full story, only what she's told you. Being a friend means that you'll be there for her, but won't ask or tell her to do one thing or another unless she specifically asks. Long story short, it's none of your business really.

I wouldn mind but she is a complete stunner

so if she looked like Mary Harney, you'd be happy enough to let her figure things out for herself?

The Hill Billy

tbh wrote: »

so if she looked like Mary Harney, you'd be happy enough to let her figure things out for herself?

^^ PI 'Funniest-But-So-True' Quote of the Year ^^

OP - Every lad who is mates with a girl goes through the whole "I'd treat her way better than he does" experience. The truth is that 'every lad' is wrong. If we do end up going out with 'the girl' - we become the a$$hole to some other male friend.

Don't go thinking that you are better than him. You don't know the ins & outs of their relationship. You are only seeing what you want to see because you're itching for a chance with the girl.

Be there for her as a mate, but try looking for a girlfriend of your own.

cance

you are a good friend OP.

But you can't interviene, she sees a side of him that you never have. People rarely rant and rave about how good things are, they only complain.

If you try to interviene you could be seen as the cause of the split and resented for it.

Let her figure it out for herself, and give her a shoulder to cry on when it gets bad. Thats what friends are for.

Kuz_3040

Mate been there done that lost the girl to the a$$hole and I never once attempted to cause a break up or anything to effect the relationship with the guy. I was a good friend to her and it still didnt help she still ended up hating me but there were other factors involved which arent really relevant to this situation.

My advice having been in your situation is be a good friend to her, keep at a distance though dont get too close you will save yourself alot of heartache trust me and be careful of what others may be saying about you.

Jumpy

This is one of those thread that calls for a quote from bash.

DragonflyBlade21: A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired.

Never have I heard a truer word.

Kuz_3040

Sorry I never put this on my last post but you should have a read of the ladder theory at the very least it will cheer you up and give you a good laugh

http://www.intellectualwhores.com/masterladder.html