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  • 24-10-2007 11:14pm
    #1
    utick
    Closed Accounts Posts: 562 ✭✭✭


    2 years ago me and my mate were trying to rob a bike at bray dart station, but infortunatly during our attempt the owner came running towards us so we ran off. As we ran he starts yelling at us, and the one thing that sticks in my mind to this day is he shouted' your not even a scumbag, your a wannabe scumbag'

    So my question to you guys is what do i need to do to upgrade my skills to become a fully certified scumbag rather than a wannabe scumbag


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    #2
    Gaz
    Registered Users Posts: 1,586 ✭✭✭Gaz


    Have you perfected your "schwaaaa" sound when talking ?

    Does real name end in an O ie: Anto , jayo ?

    Is yor buuuurd up the duff ?

    Do you wear tacky gold chains and a baseball cap on the back of your head ?

    Perfect these first , then we can work on your stealth abilities.


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    #3
    Thomas_S_Hunterson
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,151 ✭✭✭Thomas_S_Hunterson


    White 'brand label' socks

    Trackie bottoms, preferably navy, tucked into said socks. (prevents them getting caught in the chain when you're making a fast gettaway and has the added bonus of showing everyone how cool you must be wen they see the expensive designer labels on your socks)

    A baseball cap back as far as it will go on your head.

    A monkey-like gatch

    Nike Air-max

    Be paying child support by the age of 16

    Be a dole-claimant

    Own a Glanza (or aspire to own a glanza)


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    #4
    daniel3982
    Registered Users Posts: 204 ✭✭daniel3982


    Is this the Anto you mean?

    http://www.myspace.com/junkieanto


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    #5
    dame
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,623 ✭✭✭dame


    daniel3982 wrote: »
    Is this the Anto you mean?

    http://www.myspace.com/junkieanto

    :D I was just about to advise him to get really really skinny, give himself dark circles under the eyes and spotty skin!


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    #6
    Irish Wolf
    Registered Users Posts: 2,178 ✭✭✭Irish Wolf


    In before the lock.


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    #7
    johnnyskeleton
    Moderators, Entertainment Moderators, Politics Moderators Posts: 14,479 Mod ✭✭✭✭johnnyskeleton


    utick wrote: »
    2 years ago me and my mate were trying to rob a bike at bray dart station, but infortunatly during our attempt the owner came running towards us so we ran off. As we ran he starts yelling at us, and the one thing that sticks in my mind to this day is he shouted' your not even a scumbag, your a wannabe scumbag'

    So my question to you guys is what do i need to do to upgrade my skills to become a fully certified scumbag rather than a wannabe scumbag

    Well, you ran away - that's your first mistake. A real scumbag would try to convince the owner that it was actually his bike and accuse the owner of trying to rob it from him. Failing that, a scumbag would threaten the owner by saying that his cousin is in the IRA and will be around to the owner's gaff next tuesday.

    Secondly, Bray is well known for its wannabe scumbags. The Fatima mansions luas stop is probably a better option.

    Third, if the owner was a card carrying scumbag, he was probably aware of the who's who in Bray and didn't recognise you. Newly promoted scumbags are taught the secret handshake (which is a headbut to the nose), and since you didn't offer this traditional greeting, he spotted you as an interloper.

    Fourth, and crucially, you didn't pull out a syringe full of blood, waive it around a bit, then steal his runners.


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    #8
    Karoma
    Registered Users Posts: 19,396 ✭✭✭✭Karoma


    If you gotta ask...


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    #9
    Trojan911
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,194 ✭✭✭Trojan911


    utick wrote: »
    2 years ago me and my mate were trying to rob a bike at bray dart station, but infortunatly during our attempt the owner came running towards us so we ran off. As we ran he starts yelling at us, and the one thing that sticks in my mind to this day is he shouted' your not even a scumbag, your a wannabe scumbag'

    Nah, he's wrong. You're scum all right, just inexperienced, that's all. Keep practising it, and in your present location (FL), you'll get shot soon enough and that will be end of..... No loss.... etc..... ;)

    TJ911...


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    #10
    Black Swan
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 47,231 CMod ✭✭✭✭Black Swan


    utick wrote: »
    So my question to you guys is what do i need to do to upgrade my skills to become a fully certified scumbag rather than a wannabe scumbag
    Move to Redmond, Washington, and upgrade your Vista to Ultimate?


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    #11
    biko
    Registered Users Posts: 81,223 ✭✭✭✭biko


    Location: orlando fl
    Bray? Did you fly to Ireland to rob a bike, or have you come up in the world since?


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    #12
    delta_bravo
    Registered Users Posts: 4,567 ✭✭✭delta_bravo


    Probably a scumbag would steal a car and not a bike.


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    #13
    Archeron
    Registered Users Posts: 6,202 ✭✭✭Archeron


    Make sure you poo yourself on a daily basis and walk in a manner that makes this fact obvious to strangers.


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    #14
    Oriel
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 5,154 ✭✭✭Oriel


    Who did you steal the computer from to type this?


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    #15
    ibh
    Registered Users Posts: 1,722 ✭✭✭ibh


    Ok folks let's just stop this here. I don't know how the bike owner knew he was not a real scum bag but the reason i know he's not is that he can write. All 'proper' scumbags leave school at 10-12 years old at the latest without the ability to read or write.
    You made a good attempt at illiteracy by spelling unfortunately with an I. You also used the word 'certified', scumbags don't know that this is a word. You also addressed us as 'guys'. Scumbag would say something like bud or some proper skanger term like that..
    My guess is you're from south dublin or you are probably a fcuking culchie trying to be cool..


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    #16
    connundrum
    Registered Users Posts: 5,563 ✭✭✭connundrum


    delta_bravo wrote: »
    Probably a scumbag would steal a car and not a bike.

    A real scumbag would put the bike through a car's windscreen. A real scumbag has no need for means of travel as his/her Nike Air Max Classics will get him/her to his/her chosen destination.


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    #17
    ScumLord
    Registered Users Posts: 28,789 ✭✭✭✭ScumLord


    I real scumbag wouldn't run. A real scumbag wouldn't have to try and steal a bike it would just be stolen within the blink of an eye.

    You have much to learn I suggest you find your local scumbag chapter and ask them how you can be as big a scumbag as they are.


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    #18
    utick
    Closed Accounts Posts: 562 ✭✭✭utick


    ibh wrote: »
    Ok folks let's just stop this here. I don't know how the bike owner knew he was not a real scum bag but the reason i know he's not is that he can write. All 'proper' scumbags leave school at 10-12 years old at the latest without the ability to read or write.
    You made a good attempt at illiteracy by spelling unfortunately with an I. You also used the word 'certified', scumbags don't know that this is a word. You also addressed us as 'guys'. Scumbag would say something like bud or some proper skanger term like that..
    My guess is you're from south dublin or you are probably a fcuking culchie trying to be cool..

    yeah im from bray, southside till i die. so what. i was 16 at the time and while i wasnt a dad at the time my mot was preggers, so does that count to been a real scumbag.
    i will be back from florida soon, will be bringing back a paintball gun which could come in handy.
    and thatnks for the advice everyone, i believe i have the drive and determination too make a name for myself as a proper real scumbag rather then a wannabe


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    #19
    ironictoaster
    Registered Users Posts: 4,117 ✭✭✭ironictoaster


    Stupidest thread ever, not even funny.


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    #20
    Stercus Accidit
    Registered Users Posts: 8,758 ✭✭✭Stercus Accidit


    creggy wrote: »
    Stupidest thread ever, not even funny.

    I agree.


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    #21
    Fad
    Registered Users Posts: 7,231 ✭✭✭Fad


    ScumLord wrote: »
    I real scumbag wouldn't run

    correction they dont run EVER they kinda float on their air maxs


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    #22
    Terry
    Registered Users Posts: 26,061 ✭✭✭✭Terry


    utick wrote: »
    yeah im from bray, southside till i die. so what. i was 16 at the time and while i wasnt a dad at the time my mot was preggers, so does that count to been a real scumbag.
    i will be back from florida soon, will be bringing back a paintball gun which could come in handy.
    and thatnks for the advice everyone, i believe i have the drive and determination too make a name for myself as a proper real scumbag rather then a wannabe
    Yeah. I'm from Leixlip.
    Westside 'til I die.


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