Am I being played?

LegacyUser

Going unreg for this....

Okay so I was supposed to meet up with this girl Ive been textin for the last 2 weeks and Monday was the night we were meant to meet up and she cancelled cos she had to be up for work in the morning. So we rescheduled for tonight and again she cancelled last night cos she said she got roped into workin again tonight. Now they are both genuine excuses but Im just wonderin how many times I should say "OK we'll reschedule" before cutting my losses. She said she does wanna meet up, just that shes busy. We've been textin for 2 weeks and havent met up yet. Monday was the first time we scheduled to meet. I know those excuses are fair enough and probably legit I just dont wanna be taken for a ride! I told her "If you're serious about meetin up then u pick a day and time" so balls in her court.

Miss Fluff

You have to take it at face value and presume she is really busy. Who initiates all the texting or is it a two-way thing? Why don't you tell her to get in touch when she's less busy and you can hook up then? If radio silence follows then you know once and for all. Good luck.

Marksie

As you say, you have left the ball in her court. Thats fine, if it doesnt happen it doesnt happen.

It doesnt necessarily mean she is a player there could be many reasons. Did you ever talk? two weeks of texting :rolleyes:*. how muhc information could you get into that? probably less than one thirty minute phone call.

Just call me old fashioned, but usually i find that talking really does sort out whether someone is interested.

Further, if you have never met and are feeling you are being played? why are you feeling like that?


*personally i think the guy who invented texting should be locked up for crimes against humanity

Cathmandooo

To put it bluntly, if she wanted to go out with you she'd have made time no matter how busy she is....sorry

LegacyUser

Marksie wrote: »

As you say, you have left the ball in her court. Thats fine, if it doesnt happen it doesnt happen.

It doesnt necessarily mean she is a player there could be many reasons. Did you ever talk? two weeks of texting :rolleyes:*. how muhc information could you get into that? probably less than one thirty minute phone call.

Just call me old fashioned, but usually i find that talking really does sort out whether someone is interested.

Further, if you have never met and are feeling you are being played? why are you feeling like that?


*personally i think the guy who invented texting should be locked up for crimes against humanity

I approached her and got her number so we have met before, its not off some dating servbice or anything like that!!! We've been texting since then. Meant to meet up last week but technology has been a thorn in our sides as texts havent delivered and all that.


Got a text off her sayin she'd meet up next week and Im gonna give her the benefit of the doubt. The reason I made the thread is to ask is it reasonable to assume if she cancels again next time that I should call it a day? She seems keen enough but I guess Im just paranoid about bein played since its happened before more than once.


We both initiate converstaion depending on the day...theres no trend really.

LegacyUser

Cathooo wrote: »

To put it bluntly, if she wanted to go out with you she'd have made time no matter how busy she is....sorry

Thats fair enough and I can accept that, Im a big boy!

The reason im askin is she seems nice, she does initiate texting, she says she wants to meet up and after I put the ball in her court she has looked to arrange to meet at the weekend or next week. So for all I know she could just be genuinely busy.


So why would she bother if she wasnt interested?! Im not sayin that as an attempt to disprove u either cos I kinda agree, if I had a date with someone I liked and work called me Id tell them to shag off no matter how stuck they were.

Cathmandooo

Played? wrote: »

Thats fair enough and I can accept that, Im a big boy!

The reason im askin is she seems nice, she does initiate texting, she says she wants to meet up and after I put the ball in her court she has looked to arrange to meet at the weekend or next week. So for all I know she could just be genuinely busy.


So why would she bother if she wasnt interested?! Im not sayin that as an attempt to disprove u either cos I kinda agree, if I had a date with someone I liked and work called me Id tell them to shag off no matter how stuck they were.

I hope you do prove me wrong that's good that shes trying to rearrange something, leave the ball in her court and see what happens, you've nothing to lose sure!

MagicMarker

She could be doing it on purpose... Sounds like a headwrecker to be honest. ''Having to be up for work'' is a lame excuse i think. Did she not know that when she made the date?

If she cancels again i would just delete her number and forget about her.

misswex

That is very harsh Cathoo and possibly very wrong. As he said the girl said she was sorry but there wasn't anything she could do as she had to work. I reckon you were right to leave the ball in her court and hopefully ye two will find a time to meet up shortly.

I also agree that the guy who invented texting should be locked up, talking to somebody and having a chat is so much better than sending a text and for them to analyse your texts. Different people read texts differently as when I read your last line ' if you're serious..... etc' I thought you were sounding annoyed and a bit angry about the whole thing but thats from just the way I read it.

Cathmandooo

misswex wrote: »

That is very harsh Cathoo and possibly very wrong.

Or possibly very right, if you really like a guy and u arrange two dates with him, are you gonna cancel them for anything other than an emergency?

I know I certainly wouldnt, there's more to life than work. And I did warn him that I was gonna be blunt, he said he was thinking the same as me. I do hope I'm wrong though!

LegacyUser

MagicMarker wrote: »

She could be doing it on purpose... Sounds like a headwrecker to be honest. ''Having to be up for work'' is a lame excuse i think. Did she not know that when she made the date?

If she cancels again i would just delete her number and forget about her.

My friend thinks this.



When I initiated the conversation with her a few weeks back in the bar she initially played hard to get and I played indifferent to that cos well to be honest i dont fall into that trap that some lads do of putting the girl on the pedestal and thinking shes better than you solely cos she looks good. Anyway my mate reckoned cos she wasnt immediately succumbing to my charms (ha!) that she wasnt keen and he thinks because I came across indifferent that she's trying to prove to herself that she can have me. I got the "Told u so speechlast nite when I was sittin there and she texted".

WindSock

Give her another chance and see what happens. Maybe she got a spot or something
As you said, the ball is in her court now. If she cancels again tell her you're not into it.

How Strange

Played? leave it up to her now and don't suggest meeting up again. If she doesn't get back in contact then you know where you stand.

I agree with Cathooo, I've only ever once been too busy to meet someone and I was literally up to my eyes working on a thesis (think working on it 24/7) and I told him upfront that I wasn't free for a couple of weeks . Apart from that time, I'd move heaven and earth to meet a guy I was into - they are not that easy to come by and a date can be anything from a night out to a cup of coffee and a chat so who can't find time for that. IMO, if she is really keen she will meet you next week. If she doesn't then she's not really that bothered.

But you've done as much as you can, leave it to her now.

Also, texting is the laziest form of communication and I really don't like it especially at the early stages. Next time, pick up the phone. BTW, I don't think texting had anything to do with this situation but in general I'd prefer to have a couple of chats with a guy and get to know him before/just after the first date than getting text messages.

starlight07

Cathooo wrote: »

Or possibly very right, if you really like a guy and u arrange two dates with him, are you gonna cancel them for anything other than an emergency?

I know I certainly wouldnt, there's more to life than work. And I did warn him that I was gonna be blunt, he said he was thinking the same as me. I do hope I'm wrong though!

Im kinda in a simular situation and Im the one who had to cancel, I am genuinly interested but hadnt realised how busy my life was til I tried to fit someone else in!!!

To say that you would choose a guy you barely know over your career is a bit silly, the girl could be aiming for a promotion or be trying to establish herself at work so to refuse to work extra hrs could look bad to her employers.

However If she cancels a date again I would leave it at that. If she really cant make extra time to meet then she is obviously at a stage in her life where she is too busy for a relationship anyway.