Messy situation.

LegacyUser

Ok things are a bit confusing right now, basically my girlfriend and I broke up about a month ago, we’d been going out for about 2 years, we’ve very little in common and the sex life had vanished.
Long story short there was the complication that we live together with a friend of ours and there’s leases etc to work out, she has a friend to move in with in January so we agreed that we’d just wait it out till then. Thing is since we broke up we’ve gone back to how it was when we started going out, since we share a room we ended up sleeping together one night and that just opened the flood gates back up and we’re now back to regular good sex, it’s as if without the strain of a relationship and putting up with the other ones day in day out lives we’ve remembered why we fell so hard for each other in the first place.
Now the problem is while this is great I have a feeling that if we did just get back together we’d slowly just go back to being miserable

Beruthiel

Problem with a lot of people in long term relationships is that they stop making an effort.
No effort = dead relationship.
All of a sudden ye are making an effort again. What does this tell you?

tbh

alizeron wrote: »

Ok things are a bit confusing right now, basically my girlfriend and I broke up about a month ago, we’d been going out for about 2 years, we’ve very little in common and the sex life had vanished.
Long story short there was the complication that we live together with a friend of ours and there’s leases etc to work out, she has a friend to move in with in January so we agreed that we’d just wait it out till then. Thing is since we broke up we’ve gone back to how it was when we started going out, since we share a room we ended up sleeping together one night and that just opened the flood gates back up and we’re now back to regular good sex, it’s as if without the strain of a relationship and putting up with the other ones day in day out lives we’ve remembered why we fell so hard for each other in the first place.
Now the problem is while this is great I have a feeling that if we did just get back together we’d slowly just go back to being miserable

when there's always biscuits in the tin, where's the fun in biscuits?

or to put it another way

you've eaten steak every night for the last two years. You were sick of steak, so you stopped eating it. Now you've been told that, come January, you'll never be able to eat steak again. Doesn't look so bad anymore does it?

Miss Fluff

Now that you've decided to go your seperate ways the pressure is off. You probably no longer feel that you "should" be having sex however many times a week etc. However, January is still over 2 months away, a long time inbetween for heads to get messed up if you ask me. Was the decision to break up entirely mutual? If not, is one of you initiating sex, hotter sex, in the hope that it will reignite the flame and it won't come to finally going your seperate ways?

How Strange

you say your sex life vanished when you lived together. That was probably because, as the other posters said, you stopped making an effort with each other. That's a common problem in relationships.

But you also said that you had very little in common. What did you mean by that? Because regardless of the new found lease in your sex life if you never had anything in common before that isn't going to change now or later.

If you meant that you stopped doing things together that is one thing and that can be changed but if you are two totally different people with different outlooks etc then your current situation will only mask that underlying problem for a while and then you will be back square one.

pretty-in-pink

OP, sometimes love and sex just aren't enough. You're playing with fire, and one of you will get badly burned. If you are meant to be, then you will be. For now, give eachother as much space as you can. Its a horrible place to be, my sympathies to you both.