Flash from the past

LegacyUser

Hi, this is not actually a hugh problem, in the sense that if this is my only worry in life at the moment, i be laughing. i would appreciate if i can get some input.

basically when i was in college, i met a girl in late 2004 (wouldn't you know its women problems lol) we hot it off straight away and were together for almost two years. i had spent 2 years away from home and stayed with her during the summer, (no big deal there)

the problems started about six months prior to break up. things started to get messy . i had my own problems at home, family were seperating. whilst i was happy about this as i depised my dad then (not as much now, tring to patch things up , life is too short for enemies). i tried to keep the frustration in with it was tough. for some ridiculous reason i stopped trusting my ex, more than likely i just started becoming increasinlgy cynical with every thing. i love her, and deep down still do, but i began to really hate life in the town (college was great and the locals were lovely)i would not go as far as saying i was depressed or anything. ye all know what happens when a realtionship goes on a slow burner to crash town, the lack of communications etc. i do have to say i feel alot of it was my fault, particularily when i never had a problem with her talking to any one, not that i had a choice, because i am not a controlling freak and although i come across a shy with strangers (big prob sometimes as it can appear that i am a snob / arrogant) i would consider my self as a confindent guy.

well we broke up in early 2006, i we both had enough, and it was a relief. to abandon the pain of a failed relationship and most important the friendship i just put the head down with the books and at the weekend slept with any girl who seemed intersted. (was not the same thou)

we have been a year apart now, and at important times such as christmas, birthdays, my graduation she texted me and tried to find out how i am (nothing unusal about that) i never replied, more really that i just wanted to forget about her and start fresh (not much luck, lads ye all know of a girl or two ye went with that was someone really special in every way) i was up in the town a few times this year to see my college mates, and every time i bumped into her, i was noever one for small talk , and she knew it, but the weird thing was everytime we met , it got to me, i looking at her face, it looked like we both wanted to talk. both of our mates tols us we needed to cope on as it was clear we wanted eachother.

anyway, jsut recently, i was completely thrown back my a text from her, telling me how she loved me and still cared for me and wanted to stay in touch etc (there was more to the message but i dont want to bore ye, all postive though) i remember i showed my trusted friend and she said it was pretty intense but i should call her. so i did and it was a massive relief (dont worry about the past and how much we miss each other etc)

she has contacted regularily since and it was like the old days the way we talked to each other, as if nothing happened. she asked if we could meet up at some point,

i ask do you think its wise? is she looking for something more? (no she was not pregant or pregant now, if ye are asking )

cheers

dade

you wont know til you meet her. Are you in a relationship with someone now? is she? have you dealt with the thrust issue you have back in 06? I think you may have projected some of the anger and thrust issues you had with your father onto her and that may have caused you to behave the way you did back then.

It's almost 2 years later and this lass keeps in contact with you, it's pretty obvious she wants you in her life in some way otherwise she would never have contacted you back.

if you do meet up, thread carefully. she may still have the same feelings for you as she had back then, if you don't feel the same then let her know, don't string her along.

l3LoWnA

It is wise!

You are young and obvoiusly ye both still have feelings for each other. God loves a tryer! Try again and see how it goes if that's what ye both want! What's holding you back? Do you feel you still won't trust her?

You are both that bit older now aswell which should help

biko

Give it a go, you'll only kick yourself later if you don't.

SarahSassy

Give it a go IF you have sorted out your issues - lack of trust, communication etc etc. If you havent then it will be difficult to make the relationship work a second time....

It wont be easy but could be very worthwhile.

uberwolf

SarahSassy wrote: »

Give it a go IF you have sorted out your issues - lack of trust, communication etc etc. If you havent then it will be difficult to make the relationship work a second time....

It wont be easy but could be very worthwhile.

She mightn't be the worst person to address them with.

And seeing as you both still love each other after 2 years apart, it's prob not the worst idea to have another go! As in it's a virtual no brainer.

LegacyUser

thanks everyone

the trust issues: what basically happened was i went to a town for college, she lived nearby. i grew to hate the place, it would take ages to explain. all that kept me sane was her, my friends and the college, i loved the night life there etc but it was a different part of the country. naturally i missed my own surroundings as people you proba can have more in common with the people from your own province. the mother talking use to call keeping me up to date with what went on at home, at times i wished she did not, as it was bad stuff. the ex was always there for me and wanted me to talk to her about it, i did, but some things i did not, i wanted her as my girlfriend not my shrink. she had her own problems too, like any one else. during the summer, it was tight for dosh, (first two years of college i lived like a king) that can get any one down, not being able to bring her out to real nice places etc (very boring town without the students) only did it when wages where in. i felt like i was failing her, i dont like taking money off others or them paying for me.

obviously she had male friends as i have female. some times they got too cheecky and flirty with her. in fairness she just laughed it off. of course i took stuff like that as a complement, i aint a complete dinosuar, i had no need to distrust her, and as it showed it had the risk of pushing her away from me.(jesus we are all great looking at hindsight - still i have had two years to look on what happend - muppet)

yes ye are right i took my frustration out of her i was a complete b*&lox.

any way we have been texting and the like just how are you doing etc for now, i dont want to push it as she may only wanna be friends despite message. which is cool, i need a friend like her.

goosd thing two is that she left her home town, bad thing i am based in dublin (commuting though) but hell that would not be a prob, one step at a time though..