Fancy my exgirlfriends friend...

Lawless_Samurai

Just wanted to get the general opinion of this... I kinda hooked up with my exs friend at a party and now I've really fallen for her and vice versa. There is a very mixed opinion on this. Is it bad form? I've broken up with my ex about a year now and we stayed good friends but this has caused a divide between us.

ats

a year later personally I'd say she's fair game, course others will definitely disagree especially considering you and the ex are still friends

Scoobydoobydoo

Lawless_Samurai wrote: »

Just wanted to get the general opinion of this... I kinda hooked up with my exs friend at a party and now I've really fallen for her and vice versa. There is a very mixed opinion on this. Is it bad form? I've broken up with my ex about a year now and we stayed good friends but this has caused a divide between us.

I'd say you need to weigh it up. I think it depends on a few factors because every situation is different.

How old are you?
How long were you together?
How serious was it?
How close friends are you all?

Cathmandooo

Yes do answer scooby doos questions!

And also:
Is your ex with anyone now? is she happy?

If you were very serious with your ex then it would take her to have no feelings for you whatsoever to be fine with that. Personally I wouldnt be happy if it was my ex with my close mate unless I was happy myself (that sounds awful bitter and selfish but its how I'd feel in the situation).

Very difficult situation anyway, approach with caution

MikeHoncho

Go for it man. Why should a past unsuccesfull relationship get in the way of a new and possibly great one. I really hate all the politics around that stuff. Do what makes you happy. Your ex might be bitter for a while but she will get over it.

Fysh

It's a relatively simple decision you have to make, once you've weighed up the two factors:

How much you care about what your ex thinks

vs

How much you like the new girl

Personally, I'd be of a mind to say never mind the ex - if she's actually your friend she'd want you to be happy and would understand that this may well involve you forming new relationships with people she may have friendships with. (Mind you, this cuts both ways so if you don't think you could handle the situation if it were reversed, bear it in mind). Your ex is an ex for a reason, and if her objection isn't down to anything concrete, then I don't understand why her opinion is being given any weight in this matter.

LegacyUser

in same sit. Ex's friend. Was with ex 3 years, broke up bout 6 months ago. We both know friend bout a year but ex has become quite friendly with them in last few months particularly during and immediately after the break up. Feels right but is it a major no no? Ex is with someone else now.

Lawless_Samurai

Scoobydoobydoo wrote: »

I'd say you need to weigh it up. I think it depends on a few factors because every situation is different.

How old are you?
How long were you together?
How serious was it?
How close friends are you all?

in our 20's
3 years
very serious
v close with my ex, the other girl is a work friend of my ex and i got to know her through my ex

it kinda happened out of the blue and i really didn't see it coming till it happened. Normally I play by those rules that friends are off limits cause it can lead to problems but I have really falling for this girl!!!

_blank_

Have you got any feelings left for your ex? Any at all?

If you do, this is a no go.

Could you handle not being her friend any more if she took it badly?

If the answer is no, it's a no go. Because if you get upset, the new girl will think you still have feelings for the ex.

El_mariachi

BAAAA to all this thinking...and if this happen ans that happens stuff. ppl here over think these simple matters.....

just go for it.

why? because you want her and she wants you.

should your ex care? No. your broken up a year and if you truely loves you she will be happy to see you happy. If she is such a great friend she will understand.

curiousxxx1

 
Personal opinion-STAY CLEAR!!!!!

Too dodgy to continue, it's unfortunate you like each other but the complications... it's just too much to handle except you 'know' you can handle it!
I broke up with my ex in Jan after 5 years, we are friends now. I wouldn’t appreciate it if he dates any of my friends…. He’s in a relationship now and I am happy for him but as long as it’s not with any friend of mine especially if they met him through me.