hubby and porn?

LegacyUser

a question for the men out there....

i went out last night with a few friends ,today when i turned on my computer i see in the address bar memory that my hubby was on a porn site last night...now this is not my problem...i personally do not like porn but each to their own i say.

my problem is that the site was bunny teens...or something like that..i deleted the address..

now before too he has been on a site called schoolgirls....

why would it be that these sites he looks at are named after young girls....would any of you men out there look at these sites or do you think its just cause he came upon teh name somewhere and decided to look it up..

we have 3 daughters all under 7 and i am freaking out that he is interested at younger girls...even tough he has never ever given me any reason to think he is other than these 2 porn sites...its just the teen and school girl words are freaking me out a bit i suppose.


i spoke to him today and he says he didn't type in the address to the teen site last night but that it was there already which i know is lies as its a new computer with no history on it!
why do you think he is lying ...he knows i dont like it but it upsets me more knowing he is lying to me..

sorry i am rambling on..

thanks

Nevyn

There is a big difference between looking at adult females who are 18 and 19 on porn sites and looking at children who are 8 and 9. Legal teen pron does not equal child pron.

I think that you should talk to him about this and have a think about why you are concerned.

LegacyUser

thanks thaedyal,

i don't look at porn sites at all....these sites i have had a quick look at...they are as you say all adults women....

i really am not sure why i am so anxious about it...he has never given me a reason to think anything only the best of him and he is a great dad and husband.....

i think its when i ask him he says he just thought of the name for the first site and typed it in to see what came up and that worries e more....

i mean if you wanted to lok at porn would you type in school girls.com?

i would prefer if he said to me i saw it advertised in a book or on tv then i'd know its not him looking for school girls....to me typing in school girls means girls in uniform.....he says no he just knew it was a porn site....

CrazyNoob

teen porn does not equal pre-teen /children etc

I'd find it normal he likes young women 18+
Youth is a thing of beauty in its own right,
I'd personally be more freaked out if he was looking at granny porn

I think the real issue is not the sites themselves but the fact he is looking at these and you have an issue with this.
Only way is to talk about this with him to see if you can be ionvolved or he can stop and focus on you so to speak

Zulu

126789 wrote: »

...my hubby was on a porn site last night...now this is not my problem...

There are a large amount of women who "don't have a problem with" porn, often it turns out they do, they just don't want to appear prude.

my problem is that the site was bunny teens...or something like that..i deleted the address..

...so? 18/19 year olds. Did you bother to look at the site? If not, why not?

now before too he has been on a site called schoolgirls....

A very common male fantasy. Would you consider wearing a school uniform for him?

why would it be that these sites he looks at are named after young girls....would any of you men out there look at these sites

Yes, men prefer to look at young women. You'll notice that playboy rarely features spreads of elderly women.

we have 3 daughters all under 7 and i am freaking out that he is interested at younger girls...even tough he has never ever given me any reason to think he is other than these 2 porn sites...its just the teen and school girl words are freaking me out a bit i suppose.

You are adding 2 and 2 and getting, I dunno, orange. Do you really think your husband is a paedophile? Do you really think he's incestuous? It's horrible you'd jump to this conclusion, but I guess thats modern living.

i spoke to him today and he says he didn't type in the address to the teen site last night but that it was there already which i know is lies as its a new computer with no history on it!

...did you speak to him or confront him? Chances are he's embarrassed and tried to deny. Which is perfectly understandable considering you equate a schoolgirl fantasy to paedophilia! :rolleyes:

Time Magazine

How many instances of the site came up in the history? Was it just one page or many?

Oftentimes if you people go to sites for downloading movies etc, porn pops up in the background. Look at the ads on TorrentSpy (NSFW) for example. (Also of course I'm not advocating the use of such sites, I'm just pointing it out as a possibility if just one page was in the history.)

biko

A quick guess would be that the majority of porn sites are called schoolgirls/ teens or similar. If you google porn I'm pretty sure most links will be to these sites.
Women between 18 and 25 are in their peaky physically and to us men (of all ages) that's important when we pleasure ourselves. As there's not any emotional attachment we indulge in the feminine form.

There's a reason a lot of women dress up as naughty schoolgirls at halloween

Kintarō Hattori

Adult women dressed in school girl outfits are hot. It's as simple as that. What was Britney Spear's first big hit?????!
To be honest if I were your husband I'd be a little disappointed with you. You say he's a great guy, fantastic with the kids, yet when he's having a look at some porn of adult women you call into question his relationship with the kids.

Guys like porn. They always have and they always will. It's a form of escapism. You can look at and imagine the things you like but would be too nervous to ask your partner to try.

With the search function having returned, do a search for this topic and you'll find various threads started on the subject by concerned girlfriends and wives and you'll get some informed and well rounded replies. Hopefully it'll go some way to easing your mind on the subject.

LegacyUser

thanks for all the replies guys..


yes maybe it is me that is wrong.....i don't know

we will have to talk about it

thanks

Carrigart Exile

CrazyNoob wrote: »

teen porn does not equal pre-teen /children etc

I'd find it normal he likes young women 18+
Youth is a thing of beauty in its own right,
I'd personally be more freaked out if he was looking at granny porn

I think the real issue is not the sites themselves but the fact he is looking at these and you have an issue with this.
Only way is to talk about this with him to see if you can be ionvolved or he can stop and focus on you so to speak

and what's wrong with granny porn...........ohhhhh did I say that out loud:eek:

Nevyn

Carrigart Exile wrote: »

and what's wrong with granny porn...........ohhhhh did I say that out loud:eek:

Behave.

Carrigart Exile

Thaedydal wrote: »

Behave.

sorry..............go on tho' admit you smiled to yourself:D

meglome

126789 wrote: »

my problem is that the site was bunny teens...or something like that..i deleted the address..

now before too he has been on a site called schoolgirls....

why would it be that these sites he looks at are named after young girls....would any of you men out there look at these sites or do you think its just cause he came upon teh name somewhere and decided to look it up..

we have 3 daughters all under 7 and i am freaking out that he is interested at younger girls...even tough he has never ever given me any reason to think he is other than these 2 porn sites...its just the teen and school girl words are freaking me out a bit i suppose.

Major overreaction IMHO. Schoolgirl and teen could in practice mean a youngish looking 30 year old. It all about male fantasy. But make no mistake these are fully developed women not girls.

I'm not a big fan of modern porn but I'm still a man so that previous statement in practice means nothing

126789 wrote: »

i spoke to him today and he says he didn't type in the address to the teen site last night but that it was there already which i know is lies as its a new computer with no history on it!
why do you think he is lying ...he knows i dont like it but it upsets me more knowing he is lying to me..

sorry i am rambling on..

thanks

I've opened many a site over the years which have opened up porn sites without me doing anything. And I also opened up porn sites which opened up other porn sites so he may be telling the truth. But more likely he's embarrassed and getting the third degree over nothing so he's covering.

snellers

To put my 10c worth in as well....


an ...ahem....friend told me that the only guarantee on these 'teen' sites is that the women are below the age of 30...nothing as horrendous as young teens...etc

nothing whatsoever to worry about......maybe chat to hubby and use those fantasies to both your benefits! :-)

BaZmO*

Zulu wrote: »

There are a large amount of women who "don't have a problem with" porn, often it turns out they do, they just don't want to appear prude.

That is sooo true.

Ibid wrote: »

Oftentimes if you people go to sites for downloading movies etc, porn pops up in the background.

I would say "Most times" actually. Same with Spam. We might see a thread by you in a while saying that your husband wants to increase the size of his penis and is buying large quantities of Viagra.

meglome wrote: »

I'm not a big fan of modern porn

Huh? So what are you into? Victorian Porn? Roman Porn? Viking Porn?

LegacyUser

OP,

I wouldn't see anything wrong with what your hubby MIGHT have been looking at. As suggested it can be easy to get misdirected to these sites. Even if he did choose to go look at these there is nothing to worry about. I'm fairly confident that pre-teen/child sites wouldn't be that easy to find by accident if at all? Most, of not all men do at some stage look at sites lkie these. Your hubby is probably a bit embarrased or worried about what you might think of him (which has happened seeing as you posted on here) or worry he might upset you if you knew he was looking at these kinds of things) if you were to know what he was looking at. As long as it is normal, legal heterosexual subject matter then you shouldn't be too concerned.
I'll admit openly I do look at these sorts of sites, I do hide it from my partner as I am afraid of what she might think (that she is lacking in something or I am up to no good etc...) which isn't the case. I think its alot to do with out upbringing and things like sex being somethinf for married couples to do behind closed doors and he legacy of "Catholic" Ireland's values still ringing through our minds.
I'm sorry if this is long winded. I'm just trying to give you an honest opinion from a normal guy and to reassure you that there is nothing to worry about. Once you guys both have a good relationship together isn't that what matters?
I hope that this reply and he other replies have helped put your mind at rest.

TheMilkyPirate

BaZmO* wrote: »

Huh? So what are you into? Victorian Porn? Roman Porn? Viking Porn?

Vintage porn FTW

I think you are over-reacting, I think the only reason women get annoyed about their partners looking at porn is because they are insecure. Why else would you care? He's a man, He looks at porn just like nearly every other man on the planet. Get over it.

meglome

BaZmO* wrote: »

Huh? So what are you into? Victorian Porn? Roman Porn? Viking Porn?

Off topic but anyway... The whole kinda plastic, fake, hairless, false tanned, silicone implanted, everyone’s penis is a 12 incher, anal fixated... rubbish. Give me erotic any day.

Sinfonia

eo980 wrote: »

Adult women dressed in school girl outfits are hot. It's as simple as that. What was Britney Spear's first big hit?????!

She was 16 though :eek:

Reku

I went to wikipedia to try find out what a "bunny teen" was so, after finding nothing (had suspicions of young furries), I'm just going to assume that it's only the teen part that is important. As such you needn't worry, most of the worlds porn is required to adhere to regulations in order to be allowed to continue on the internet, as such most of the "teens" are 18 or 19, with a few youthful girls in their 20's thrown in to the mix.

Women fantasise about an older man, men fantasise about a younger woman, just part of the symmetry. (Generalisation) *One exception is during teens, guys will fantasise about older women since they're more physically developed. (again, generalisation)

Duckjob

As other posters have pointed out, surmising from him looking at young women dressed in schoolgirl outfits that he could be a danger to his children is a pretty horrific (and irrational) leap for you to make.

Unless you have some other reason to think your husband is an incestuous paedophile, I'd drop that angle from any discussion you have with him unless you want to seriously damage your relationship.

sjaakie

its the fact that he denied it, thats! the problem.

also lied : if it was in the upperbar then he has typed it in himself.

i would not worry about the fact that he looks at porn but i would be worried about that fact that he did it sneakily.

Tails142

Your husband masturbates - and he probably isnt always thinking of you while he's doing it - sometimes... but probably not always.

You should probably just come to realise this and accept it.

i would not worry about the fact that he looks at porn but i would be worried about that fact that he did it sneakily.

Oh that's just gold - so you'd prefer him getting up after dinner or watchin tv in the evening, stretching and saying "I'm off upstairs for a ****, catch ya later!!" .... I doubt it!!

sjaakie

that made me laugh tails... but!

we were talking about sneakily watching porn not about masturbating

LegacyUser

sjaakie wrote: »

its the fact that he denied it, thats! the problem.

also lied : if it was in the upperbar then he has typed it in himself.

i would not worry about the fact that he looks at porn but i would be worried about that fact that he did it sneakily.

Sorry, but that's just not true about he having typed in the address himself. If you click this link: www.ireland.com - does the phrase "www.ireland.com" appear in the address bar? It should.

To the op, there are any number of legitimate explanations for why those websites were on the computer.
The first is that he was intentionally looking for, and at, them. With regards to your worry about the nature of the content, as has already been said here, websites with names such bunny teens or school girls are very upfront about the fact that the women featured are over 18 years of age.
The second reason could be spam:: he gets sent a message with a few links and, out of curiosity, clicks a link. Then either the pages simply pop-up automatically or they were "hidden" links - i.e. the name on the link didn't match the ultimate website address. a bit unlikely, perhaps, but it happens.
There are other reasons as well of course.

The thing that I'm curious about is why he would have left the pages open for anyone to see - especially if it's a computer in a place where both you and he (and potentially the kids) can easily access and use it. I'd suggest talking to him, rather than us. Explain that you have legitimate concerns about what you saw and need an honest explanation. I get the feeling that you are uncomfortable with the idea that he is potentially looking at porn, without your knowledge. Try not to be judgemental about it all, he may have difficulties talking through this. On the other hand, he may be telling the truth, it may have been accidental.

Finally, I'd suggest that, together, you look at some type of content filtering software that restricts what your children can look at on the internet. I'm not a fan of this type of censorship personally, but kids are curious and easily influenced and the internet can expose them to ideas and concepts before they're ready to deal with them.

ntlbell

sjaakie wrote: »

that made me laugh tails... but!

we were talking about sneakily watching porn not about masturbating

and why do you think he was "sneakily" watching porn?

To help him fill in the crossword?

Kintarō Hattori

SumGuy wrote: »

She was 16 though :eek:

Perhaps, but my point is that it sold and works well because that image is sexy and sells. They wouldn't have filmed it and filmed it in the way that they did if it wasn't going to be successful.

sjaakie wrote: »

that made me laugh tails... but!

we were talking about sneakily watching porn not about masturbating

Of course he denied it, I'd probably do the same if I thought I could talk my way out of it. It's an embarassing thing to admit too and the fact that he was discovered probably caught him off guard.
If I and most other people I think thought someone was browsing the odd prono website I wouldn't confront them with it. As long as it was legal and harming no-one then I don't see a point in creating an akward moment.

county

sjaakie wrote: »

that made me laugh tails... but!

we were talking about sneakily watching porn not about masturbating

you hardly board cast the fact your looking at porn, there`s an awful lot of prudish people out there,and i find it very hard to believe you can not associate porn and masturbation,i mean why look at porn at all

_blank_

OP, you are overreacting a bit.

"bunny teens" and young looking girls in schoolgirl uniforms are par for the course in internet porn.

And, usually when people are browsing porn, they won't specifically type in the address.

Google is there.

And it isn't true to say that the address wouldn't be in the address bar if he didn't type it.

Nothing to worry about, he "lied" to you because he's embarrassed, that's all.

Zulu

sjaakie wrote: »

its the fact that he denied it, thats! the problem.

No it's not. He was caught off guard about a particularly embarrassing thing. His snap decision is the same snap decision EVERY other person would make in the same circumstances - try and get out of this awkward situation asap.. The problem is that this didn't work for him because his wife has some bizarre OTT notion, and did a half-ar$ed investigation consisting of a tiny bit of knowledge and a whole pile of extraordinary speculation and assumption.

also lied : if it was in the upperbar then he has typed it in himself.

That is not true. You have no evidence to prove what he did or did not type. Besides, it's not important.

i would not worry about the fact that he looks at porn but i would be worried about that fact that he did it sneakily.

For christ sake, what do you expect? him to (as another poster suggested) announce it every time he wants to whack one off? It's private - private things are done in private. It's not being "sneakily".
Try this example: it's "that" time of the month for his wife. She get's up to go to the bathroom. He confronts her with: "are you going to change your tampon???"
This is an awkward situation. Theres every chance she'll deny it as it's embarrassing. So is she "sneakily" doing it? Should he be worried she "lieing" and being deceitful? Or should he just respect her privacy????

we were talking about sneakily watching porn not about masturbating

No, we're talking about masturbation, and the possibility of this poor husband being an incestuous paedophile because he's had a **** over a fully grown woman in a school uniform.

ntlbell

sjaakie wrote: »

its the fact that he denied it, thats! the problem.

also lied : if it was in the upperbar then he has typed it in himself.

i would not worry about the fact that he looks at porn but i would be worried about that fact that he did it sneakily.

so when should he do it?

just whip it out after dinner while the kids do their home work?

we don't even know if he was looking at porn so him denying it, he very well maybe telling the truth!

I can assure there's thousands of ways for it to get into the address bar without anyone typing anything.

Seth Brundle

ntlbell wrote: »

so when should he do it?

just whip it out after dinner while the kids do their home work?

At least that will help prove that he's a paedophile!

syklops

sjaakie wrote: »

its the fact that he denied it, thats! the problem.

also lied : if it was in the upperbar then he has typed it in himself.

i would not worry about the fact that he looks at porn but i would be worried about that fact that he did it sneakily.

Errr. No. I wanted to point this out. OP, when he said he had not looked at anything, you said: "Its a new computer so nothing could be on there."

No, hate to beak it to you. Before the guy stuck it in the box he could have checked the internet worked by checking his favourite website. It may also have a virus/spyware which pops up porn sites, which got put in the history.

Maybe a site he wanted to check has been hacked and redirects to some teen porn. For example, go to whitehouse.net. Or he typed the address in wrong and got something he did not want to. Do not assume he is lying just because he is a guy. And do not assume he was being sneaky about it even if he did look at some pron. If you went out where were the kids? An hour in an evening when the kids are not in the house(assuming he works days) could be the only time he could look at any kind of adult material, even just for curiosity.


Lets just clarify, was it in the history? The address bar? or the search bar? Are you using firefox or Internet Exxxplorer? The 3 x's in the name is because it is very susceptible to porn pop-ups.

LegacyUser

hi guys ,

thank you for all the honest replies.....i have read every one.

ok i guess now i over reacted ,as i have said before ,i do not like or enjoy porn ,it makes me uncomfortable ,but hey thats just me!
but after reading the posts here i googled porn and yes you are right most sites are named after girls/teens stuff like that...[see i should have done that before!]

the fact he had lied to me too bugged the hell out of me and i asked him about it last night and he said it was because he thought i would be angry if i knew he looked for it! ...like come on i know he watchs it on tv ,so i just told him i have a problem with it on the family pc.....

so thanks for all the replies and to help me arrange things in my head ,


ooh and to who ever it was that said my husband ****.....i could pretend he dosen't but then again i can pretend i don't masturbate either but i doubt ye would believe me!!

thanks very much for the advice, it was appeciated

Marksie

Kbannon: This isnt AH. Behave