Soap

popebenny16

I was presented with a challenge in Dunnes Store on Friday evening. A bar of soap for men. Now, in the good old days this was not a problem - I can remember Yardley Gold and even old reliable Brut having a bar of soap for blokes.

I was appalled by what I was presented with in the smelly section of Dunnes. "Men wash as well" I said to myself. I decided to play safe - Imperial Leather. Driving home I remembered well the TV adverts of some rich bloke who was forever in a foamy bath be it in his executive jet, at home or, on one occasion, appearing on Question Time with Robin Day. He was always being waited upon hand and foot by some slave whilst in said bath, all of which told me, though the miracle of television advertising that Imperial Leather was for rich men, like myself.

So, I get home, and strip off for some executive cleansing. A travesty revealed itself.

THE SMELL HAD BEEN CHANGED!!!

This joke of a soap, this failure of masculinity, was a woman's soap!!! There was ner even a warning on the packet "beware - the wimmin have cut the bollox off of this soap!". I was devastated and binned the offending article.

Now I am looking for a simple, manly soap. I don't really want to smell like a creosoted fence by resorting to the most evil of soaps - sunlight, or is it lifebuoy, how aptly named! - but there must be a mans soap out there that just cleans you and makes you smell like a man.

(as an aside I knew this wan who used to use IL. When I say use I mean USE because she worked far away in an open plan office and by Christ you would be walloped by it a mile off. She got off with a mate of mine who worked in another company. Funny enough, three months after they broke up he started dating this other wan who by then was in the same cubicle number one used to work in. Recalling the Flann O'Brien idea of bicycle/Guard I had to have the chair removed when a bloke in turn took over that workstation. It wasn't worth the risk.)

I did say it was an aside, so you didn't have to read that, OK? Stop giving out and find me my soap!!

Gillo

Try Clinique for Men Soap, you'll have to go to a clinique counter, but they normally have hot chick's working there. It's a pretty decent soap and doesn't really have any sort of smell.

Feeling metro?? ask about their three step programme, it's pretty cool, actually got complimented on my skin in work after I tried it.
(I'll be back in a week, I deserve a ban for this post).

Bazzy

what this soap stuff??

AlmightyCushion

If I were you I'd stay away from anything that has 'for men' after it. This usually means for metros.

Senna

i just use what the misses buys. And i couldn't tell you the name of it if my life depended on it.

trout

Senna wrote: »

i just use what the misses buys. And i couldn't tell you the name of it if my life depended on it.

And that my friend, is the right answer to the troublesome question of soap

J.S. Pill

AlmightyCushion wrote: »

If I were you I'd stay away from anything that has 'for men' after it. This usually means for metros.

Right on!

Rovi

I sometimes despair that I will probably never live up to the manly washing system my father employed (according to my mother, anyway) back in the '60s when he came in after a hard day's honest toil on the farm and would head for the bath with this-


this-


and one of these-



RIP Dad.

Hagar

Rovi wrote: »

back in the '60s when he came in after a hard day's honest toil on the farm and would head for the bath...

"Bath", he says "bath". What, prey tell, was wrong with the cold tap out the back yard?
Wimps and their fancy baths...pfffttt

ibh

Hagar wrote: »

"Bath", he says "bath". What, prey tell, was wrong with the cold tap out the back yard?
Wimps and their fancy baths...pfffttt

U sound like my Grandad.. Although he always pointed out that he didn't even have a tap outside, just a barrel to collect rainwater.. He was double-hard by the way...

Yeah my mad great-uncle Marx (with a name like that, he was doomed from the beginning) never had running water on his farm. Pump out the back for drinkin' barrel under the drainpipe for washin'. Much like Rovi's pater, all he used was lifebuoy and a brush that was too rough to polish your shoes with. Whenever we stayed at his place, and wanted to go for a "Barry White", he'd send us round the back, where the small vegetable plot was kept......."There's great fertiliser outta the young'uns".

He kept poitin in a TK white lemonade bottle and it nearly blew the false teeth out of me granny's head when she took a sip "to wet her whistle". He was also the greatest shark ever at dominoes, bingo, connect 4, marbles and 'nearest-the-wall" with 2p pieces. He'd let us win, and then shlaughter the other adults out of it if they wanted to play.

When he died, we went up to clean out his house, and found a) a tin of SMA baby food that was 14 years out of date (could well have been mine), b) a stone-age hurley that imploded with the first smack of a sliotair and c) a wasps' nest the size of a shopping trolley under the eaves in the barn.

Now he was a real man. None of this fancy soaps and baths and what have you.

Begone from here I say. Sure I just rub any excess shampoo onto the, ahem, downstairs rug, using it as a 'lather pad' with which to generate suds and clean the rest of my (michelin)-manly physique.

Blitzkrieger

Using soap would imply having to use a seperate shampoo for your hair. Just use a showergel all over - most don't leave much of a smell.

Archeron

You could always just use lard instead, AFAIK, its the same principle. Then afterwards, you'll smell like a fry up and it doesnt get much more manly than that.

slavetothegrind

Ya don't need soap. It's a myth.

If ya don't wash after a while the body looks after itself, i'm 2 years on this system and ...well....beginning to have doubts........

Try this its brilliant. Its the manliest cleaning product of all time and works better than soap.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Swarfega

Zaph

Don't forget to mix in some sawdust with your Swarfega for even manlier abrasive cleanliness.

nice1franko

get coal tar soap. its in an orange pack. you can get it in dunnes. good old fashioned manly soap.

él statutorio

I remember some kinda red carbolic soap from when i was a young lad, cant remember the name though:(

longshanks

and whats all this about using water? i use gravel, as did my old man and his before him. water's for pansies they told me. are ye pansies? well, are ye?

longshanks

and i use a cheese grater for a sponge, grrr

Zaph

él statutorio wrote: »

I remember some kinda red carbolic soap from when i was a young lad, cant remember the name though:(

Sunlight soap?