If a guy says...

LegacyUser

Just wanna hear some views on this. Its not a major major problem...
But if a guy says "I dont want to ruin the friendship" is that just a nice way of saying he's not interested? Take into account the fact that we arent terribly good friends. Like we get on great but only see each other out once every few months. And theres no texting or phonecalls in between like there would be with friends.
Hmmm....

dudara

I do think that he is trying to find a nice way of saying that he is not interested. Sorry

biko

What dudara said

How Strange

yep, I agree with the other posters.

dame

Opinions wanted wrote: »

Just wanna hear some views on this. Its not a major major problem...
But if a guy says "I dont want to ruin the friendship" is that just a nice way of saying he's not interested? Take into account the fact that we arent terribly good friends. Like we get on great but only see each other out once every few months. And theres no texting or phonecalls in between like there would be with friends.
Hmmm....

Yes.

moco

I agree with the above posters too.

Cheeky_gal

I second these agreements....Unfortunate OP, just means you move on...

honru

Depends on the context imo. What did he respond to?

Changing dreams

''But if a guy says "I dont want to ruin the friendship" is that just a nice way of saying he's not interested?''

Sorry, but yes!

Carrigart Exile

Yep, sorry

eimsRV

Check out the book 'He's Just Not That Into You' by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo. Covers this excellently!!!

The "Maybe He Doesn't Want to Ruin the Friendship" Excuse

Dear Greg,

I'm so disappointed. I have this friend that I've known platonically for about ten years. He lives in a different city and recently he was in town for work, so we met for dinner. All of a sudden it felt like we were on a date. He was completely flirting with me. He even said to me, as he was checking me out, "So, what, you're working the whole 'model thing' now?" (That's flirting, right?) We both agreed that we should get together again soon. Well, Greg, I'm disappointed because it's been two weeks and he hasn't called me. Can I call him? He might be nervous about turning the friendship into romance. Can't I give him a nudge now? Isn't that what friends are for?

Jodi

Dear Friendly Girl,

Two weeks is two weeks, except when it's ten years and two weeks. That's how long ago he decided whether or not he could date a model or a girl who looks like one. Can you be a pal and give him a nudge? Nudge away, friendster — but watch how fast that nudge doesn't get a return phone call. And if your dinner/date did feel different to him, it's been two weeks and he's had time to think about it and decide he's just not that into you. Here's the truth: Guys don't mind messing up a friendship if it could lead to sex, whether it be a "(expletive) buddy" situation or a meaningful romance. Go find someone that lives in your zip code who will be rocked to the core by your deep conversation and model looks.

I hate to tell you, but that whole "I don't want to ruin the friendship" excuse is a racket. It works so well because it seems so wise. Sex could mess up a friendship. Unfortunately, in the entire history of mankind, that excuse has never ever been used by someone who actually means it. If we're really excited about someone, we can't stop ourselves — we want more. If we're friends with someone and attracted to them, we're going to want to take it further. And please, don't tell me he's just "scared." The only thing he's scared of — and I say this with a lot of love — is how not attracted to you he is.

Reku

Unless he has a history of treating his girlfriends badly and ending up parting on bad terms it's pretty much certain that he was just trying to let you down gently.

Knockoff Nige

There is no doubt about it. He said it to let you down gently. However, it doesnt mean you have no hope. I think people usualyl give up at this point as they dont want to look desperate. Sure, make sure you dont look desperate. However, stay interested and let him know. Guys often like a girl who shows interest over a period of time. You wont have to ask him out again but continue flirting (unless he has a girlfriend)

AngryBadger

dudara wrote: »

I do think that he is trying to find a nice way of saying that he is not interested. Sorry

+1

TheMilkyPirate

No, Not necessarily. I had a female friend who i became very close to, we kissed alot were very snug with each other and came close to having sex a few times. We never did have sex and we never got together and she always used to say that she just didn't want to ruin the friendship. I know for a fact she really liked me as she told alot of her friends and openly admitted it to me aswell. I guess some people just prefer certain people as friends.

kowloon

Its safe to say in in the vast majority of cases if a fella comes out with the friendship speech he's not interested in you that way.
Youre putting a female spin on it that just doesnt apply for 99% of men.

ian_m

He probably means... "I don't want to ruin the friendship"
Why don't you ask him or tell him you don't understand?