relationship wonder

MollyOLeary

hey all!
just a quick question for all men out there...
do guys actualy fall in love? i know they can love a girl and care for her... but do they get the "in love" effect that girls do?
Also, girls u can answer to if u have proof of either... thx folks

challengemaster

Yes, yes we do.

MagicMarker

Speaking for myself, i've never loved a girl in a way that they love me.

From my experience, girls not only fall in love but almost become infatuated. I can't really explain it, for instance, my girlfriend has moved home now (Canada). She says she can't sleep without me there etc... Now, i'm not like this in the slightest and i don't see it as a major thing because i know i'll be seeing her in December when i move over there. So it's no biggie for me. I don't get a funny feeling in my stomach when i see her and my heart never skips a beat and i can't see it happening any time soon for anyone.

Now if she were to read this, she'd probably be upset. But i think (some)women don't understand that (some)men are different and don't think the same.

So... what was i saying?

LegacyUser

I was and still am to a certain extent curious about the whole love thing. I am fairly sure that guys just dont have that swoon, dreamy love feeling. Sure theres caring and empathy and theres lust and attraction but it just isnt the same as the way girls describe it. Ansd also theres no ...like switch. its not like there was a threshold where i suddenly crossed and was like, wow im in love this is what it feels like! And many girl say " you know what love is when you fall in love" which sounds sensible enough if a little frustrating. But then talking to lots of girls about it sometimes you ask a little more and find out that they have been in love 8 times or so. SO love means different things to different people. I think most people dont fall in love in the way you see in the movies. Everyone convinces themselves that they are cos otherwise they'd feel like they are missing outy on this wonderful thing.
For blokes, in my opinion, love is commitment. A cold hard calculated decision. This girl is the best girl i match with and im going to commit to making this relationship work.

Latchy

Yes yes , most definitely but it can be difficult to explain in words, the reality can be more different than the ideal (of love ) .See ? ...........i am having dificulty explaining .Love can be blind .

bronte

They do fall in love...it's different for every person...and men can have a different way of expressing it though.

sjaakie

yep. they do, they can.

why would they not?

Latchy

Its also possible to form an attraction to sombody ,and not be sure if or why you are feeling the way you do , some say it might be love at first sight (or in some cases lust ) i know i have expierenced love many times , it's when it's not returned thats hard, hence the broken heart syndrome that we all know and love so...............No , what am i saying ?

Doctor DooM

Yes is the only answer. Would I be correct in saying op there is a particular person who you wish would show you love?

moco

I'm sure they do, I don't get like that though the way most girls do:(

kowloon

I think even more so in a lot of cases, we often have a harder time letting go, whereas women can drop a fella once they see something more impressive that fits better into their perfect man ideal.
Perhaps many women are less attached to the actual person and more to the ideal?

andrew

yes..... but that doesn't stop us from looking at other women who are particularly good-looking

Manic Moran

If there are gender-specific ways of falling in love, I find it very hard to determine an answer to that question, unless you happen to be reincarnated as the opposite sex.

I think the only realistic answer is that guys fall in love the way guys do, and women do the way women do, and it seems to have done all right by humanity so far.

NTM

Wibbs

Duhhh Of course we do. I've been deeply in love with two women in my past. The sound of their very name would bring a smile to my heart and lips. Their happiness was of paramount importance to me and the return of their love made me a better me. This wasn't puppy love either. Proper adult stuff, none of the usual BF/GF "he said she said" tripe and even now years later, thinking of both of them still makes me very grateful that they were in my life and still all I could wish for them is happiness.

One of them I actually dumped as her attachment to me was screwing up her career and studies(looong story. Basically she had an amazing overseas job offer). I was crazy about her, but I wanted her to have the best life she could have and I knew if she stuck with me at the time, it was likely she may miss out on that. So I had to let her go, for her sake not mine. Broke my heart at the time. Yea I'd say that would be love alright when you want the best for someone even if it doesn't include you. Lack of selfishness basically.

Anyway, if men didn't love who the hell has been writing all the famous love poetry, building Taj mahals, painting masterpieces, even subduing nations in the pursuit of it? That would be the blokes then.:D

We will still as andrew points out look at other women. Sometimes a lot. Doesn't mean we don't love the woman we're with. Even with all that choice we're still with that woman.

Balmed Out

u have to be taking the piss

Marksie

Of course. We are all human being and subject to emotions and feelings

Marksie

Balmed out: Read the charter on unhelpful posting

patrickolee

yes men love.

Oryx

Yes, they do. Your particular mans way of demonstrating it may be different from how you show your love, so you may not see it as being the same kind of love as you feel.


edit: meant to add.... maximum kudos Wibbs. excellent post and sentiments.