unsure

LegacyUser

I think I already know the answer to my predicament but as many folk have said before I think I'll feel better by typing this out.

I have been going out with my gf for 11 months, she is 22 and has graduated from uni, I am 20 and in my 3rd year. The first 6 months were great, we had so much in common, she's witty, inteligent and beautiful (too good for me some might, and have, said). All my friends and family get on with her too, however recently I can't help but feel the spark has gone but I know for a fact she doesnt feel the same way.

A few of her close friends have recently moved away with work/uni and as a result I feel she has become more clingy, I have a number of different circles of friends, many of whom have started to comment on the fact they hardly see me anymore. My parents have also started to comment on how they "don't see the boys round as much" anymore. I wouldnt go as far as to say she doesnt let me see my friends but she does always want me to put her first and cancel other plans or to check with her if we're free for me to see them. It's really starting to get to me.

I understand relationships are all about compromise but I can't help but feel im missing out on alot and I promised myself I wouldnt let this happen when I was so young.

I also really want to go travelling and have the chance to go to America next summer to work before I return home for my final year of uni. I know she won't like this and if I do go she'll want to come and although I love her I really feel this can be an experience of a lifetime for me and that I should go it alone. She has already done a year of uni in America so thats another thing that she has already ticked off the list.

I take the suggestions will involve me sitting her down and telling her all of this, I have kinda attempted it in the past (not about traveling) and it ended with her crying. She isn't as needy/clingy as the way I have worded this suggests but it is becoming a problem

Any suggestions/advise would be much appreciated, thanks for reading.

finbarrk

I think you are too young for a serious relationship, maybe take a break from her, tell her you want some freedom for a few years. Think about a serious relationship in 10 years time.

biko

Take a break, go to America. See what happens when you come back.

LegacyUser

thanks for the advice guys. I know if we break up she won't take it very well at all, suppose thats part of the process tho eh?

Esel

It's your life, don't live it for someone else. Is your gf working or is she at a loose end?

honru

Definetly go to the US if that is what you want to, but the fact that you do not want your girlfriend to come along shows that you probably aren't mature enough for a relationship with her. In that case I would part ways with her.

mik_da_man

rammo wrote: »

I can't help but feel the spark has gone

Says it all for me.

Do the decent thing and end it - there's no point hanging on to the relationship to protect the other person.
It will end worse if you lead her on and have lost interest - trust me

Mik