I suck at life

LegacyUser

I suck at life. Just wanted to say that. I know 16 year olds who have so much more life experience, done more things and have more confidence than me. I let other 16 year olds walk all over me. I am 22.

I am the definition of a loser. I cant stand up for myself. Sometimes I really hate myself. I research suicide because I enjoy it. I don't know why, but knowing that I have a choice comforts me. Am I the only one who thinks this? Not because I am sad, because I am angry. Angry at myself. It is the ultimate expression of ones freedom. I am drawn to it. I honour those who have done it. They are the courageous ones.

Who am I? I hate. Girls dont ever like losers. I sound like a teenager. Awesome. HURRR angst.

I need to grow up. This is ridiculous. I am ridiculous. **** everthing.

I dont want sympathy or pity. Just leave me alone.

There you go. Enjoy.

/moan.

bostonian

go join the royal marines.

Varkov

If you tape a pack of cornflakes on top of your car, it looks like a taxi from a distance.

Beruthiel

bostonian and Varkov - read this forums Charter before you get yourselves banned from here.

OP
Go talk to a professional, you need help.

Pigeon Reaper

Have you tried putting yourself into new situations? Life tends to pass you by unless you go out and embrace it. What have you tried to do to improve things for yourself and others?

Why exactly do you hate yourself? I'm a loser too and always have been but I don't hate myself mainly because I try to improve things for others who can't help themselves. That way I feel that there is some purpose to life and not everything is fake bull**** (just most of it) It's too easy to say you hate yourself for shock value etc. justify the hatred.

sympathy or pity? You certainly won't get it from me empathy is certainly there though. You don't deserve sympathy or pity unless you at least try to improve things.

"It is the ultimate expression of ones freedom. I am drawn to it. I honour those who have done it." Cowards one and all. They took the easy way out and gave in to their inner demons. It's harder to live a flawed life and to constantly fight with no end in sight. I've had friends kill themselves and have pulled plenty out of dublin bay, it's hard to call them cowards but thats what they are. It's the ultimate selfish act.

I agree that you need to talk to someone about what you're feeling. It does help.

craichoe

Just cop on and stop comparing yourself to others.
Your only going to compare all your negatives to their positives.

Live your own life, if your bored go and do something.

LegacyUser

Go travel

Sam Vimes

The ones who kill themselves are cowards. The ones who change their lives are the brave ones. You think your life is **** so you're just thinking of ending it? There are 6 billion different lives out there. When you've tried every one of them and thought they were all ****, maybe then consider suicide.

You've only tried one kind of life and you didn't like it. I'm sure you've eaten food you didn't like. Did you give up eating or did you try different food?

Dave147

Think for a minute how lucky you are to be 22 in what I presume good physical health in such a privileged country with so many opportunities. Get up off your ass, stop feeling sorry for yourself and do something about your "terrible" life. We all have a tough life, but we only have one and I'll be damned if I let ANYONE stop me from living it!

Buy a motivational book, might actually help you if you have an open mind.

By the way, I'm 21, a college dropout, working full time for my dad, out of a 2 year relationship and I'm as happy as can be.

flonge

first of all the attitude you have towards yourself is wrong...You SHOULD NOT put yourself down like that..Concentrate on your good points!don't be so hard on yourself,if you feel you are being walked all over do something about it,stand up for yourself!
Go out,socialise,help out in your community(youll gain satisfaction)!Don't dwell on the bad stuff,the only person who can stop you feeling sorry for yourself is you!Lie is tough for everyone!we all go through tough patches,we all have to get through them..Think of how lucky you are,your 22,in what I presume good physical health in such a privileged country with so many opportunities.you're still young so get out there and start living... stop feeling sorry for yourself and do something about your "terrible" life!

estar

Commander Vimes wrote:

The ones who kill themselves are cowards. The ones who change their lives are the brave ones. You think your life is **** so you're just thinking of ending it? There are 6 billion different lives out there. When you've tried every one of them and thought they were all ****, maybe then consider suicide.

You've only tried one kind of life and you didn't like it. I'm sure you've eaten food you didn't like. Did you give up eating or did you try different food?

too right

about two years ago a guy i knew killed himself.

he was one of the best looking guys i ever met. he was a very talented individual. he seemed like he had it all. beautiful girlfriend. great future.

i bet he thought he sucked at life. i bet he thought himself into suicide with such thoughts.

im am quite disgusted that you research suicide. i empathise with your pain.
i do. but there is nothing like the pain of those left. thats real pain. the pain of going on wondering why the person did it. why they couldnt talk to you.
why you were so worthless that they left life, and left you in it.

dont even begin to tell me that leaving that pain behind is courageous.
i find it appalling that you think that people that leave life behind are the
brave ones.

go to africa. experience life over there. talk to suvivors of genocide whose
whole families have been killed in front of them, and come back and talk to
me about bravery. you don't even have to go to africa. look at the situation in burma. look around you. see what differences you can make. volunteer
to do something, like teach someone to read at a literacy programme. volunteer for the simon community. contribute and you will feel like you have a purpose. its way too easy to opt out.

i wish you the best. i wish that you will soon realise all the gifts that you
no doubt possess. i wish that you find your purpose in life. i wish that
you see that everyone has a purpose should you choose to find it.

not everyone is going to be famous, not everyone is going to be recognised as talented. not everyone is going to get what they want. thats not what life is about. life is about living every day well. living every day in the moment
contributing positively to the lives around you. that is how you dont suck.

only you know why you are so angry with yourself. if you wish to share that
and explore that there are a number of ways of doing it.

you could post here. you could speak to a counsellor. but exloring things you may find difficult to talk about really takes courage.

Strokesfan

^^ wow that's a really great post estar. I read it twice.

leninbenjamin

everyone sucks at life. that is the human condition (or rather one way of looking at it). you think you're the only one, but quite frankly your no different than millions of others.

so we wont leave you alone, because your just like a hell of a lot of us. we'll tell you to get up off your ass and smell the roses. I personally think travelling would be good for you. you need to start doing stuff and stop thinking.

SUNGOD

the only person that can help you is you. i know people who have been beaten down by life and what it threw at them from illness family death and bankrupcy and these same people keep living keep fighting and keep smiling .no one is going to give us happiness on a plate we get out of life what we put in and when disaster comes as it does for us all we have a choice sink or swim .your life/happiness is a gift thats worth fighting for .the only tragedy is that you might be to old to sick or to far gone before you realise this .remember if you end your life you are giving those you leave behind a life sentence of guilt .look closely at the replies above there is excellent advice in them i wish you well my friend : somebody elses opion of me is none of my business:

Cupcake_Crisis

smile more!

karen3212

Op, Why do you hate yourself? Maybe you don't have the courage, the get up and go etc etc of other people. But you never know when you might find out what you have that is unique and great about you. Why write yourself off so early, so young. Teenage and early twenties can be the very worst years of some people's lives, christ most people don't even know who they are until their mid twenties. Give yourself a chance. Look at a photograph of yourself as a five year old, what would you say to that child. Yourself as a child, what would you say to you as a child. Would you hate that child, do you hate yourself as a child. Talk to that child, and give that one a chance, you've only lived as an 'adult' for a very short time, give yourself a chance.

Cupcake_Crisis

i dont think theres really any need to go delving into child physcology for this!! i hope you didnt feel like this when you wer a child and if you didnt theres no point in tainting happy childhood memories with any problems your going through at the moment!
im not by any means belittling how bad your feeling.....but sometimes just stepping back and taking a wider look at your life...really looking at your achievments, the ppl around you....your family and friends.....all the smallest things that we take for granted s all you need to do to lift your spirits!! no one is as hard on us as we are on ourselves....we are often our own worst enemy. maybe just lightening up on yourself.....not being as self critical......going out and having fun..could be what you really need!!! this doesnt have to be one for the therapists!!

anomie_desuetud

estar wrote:

too right

about two years ago a guy i knew killed himself.

he was one of the best looking guys i ever met. he was a very talented individual. he seemed like he had it all. beautiful girlfriend. great future.

i bet he thought he sucked at life. i bet he thought himself into suicide with such thoughts.

...........................................

im am quite disgusted that you research suicide. i empathise with your pain.
i do. but there is nothing like the pain of those left. thats real pain. the pain of going on wondering why the person did it. why they couldnt talk to you.
why you were so worthless that they left life, and left you in it.

you could post here. you could speak to a counsellor. but exloring things you may find difficult to talk about really takes courage.

Look, you guys don't have a clue what you are talking about. Get the finger out, let the penny drop, chin up, cheer up, be grateful for all the sh!t that's getting you down in the first place.

I mean, wtf?

One poster says go and look at the misery in Africa, Burma. How's that going to make him feel good?

Then another post, my friend was all but perfect and he killed himself. Could it be that his brains, talents and beautiful girlfriend aren't the reasons he took his own life but were strong positives that would have made him hold on to life for longer than most, before he gave a permanent problem a permanent solution?

And the six billion other lives out there? Do you expect this guy, with his severe depression, low self-esteem and hopelessness, to check out each life, measure it against his own and decide which of them earns a chance at suicide. Aren't all those ant-like people crawling around the globe god's way of reinforcing the fact that we are insignificant? If you are lucky enough to blithely and blindly pass through life you can't hope to see it the way he does.

All I'll say is that I recommend that anyone contemplating suicide should go and seek help before they attempt. If it's depression managable with medication then life might start looking a bit more bearable. But if it's recurrent nihilistic emptiness and a life scarred by mental illness then, yes, make a careful decision about whether you want to carry on or not.

Friends and family love you so much that no matter how bad you feel, no matter how the sadness is eating into you like a physical pain, no matter how much you hate the person you have to live your life inside of...., that you must stay alive so that they can selfishly have you around and avoid the stigma of a family suicide.
It makes no sense that the pain of being left behind by the suicide is "the real pain. the pain of going on wondering why the person did it.. ". If it's so bad, so bad it makes them want to rip their stomachs' out, makes them want to slash themselves and mutilate themselves... well, then they might begin to understand the pain the suicide was in... and it may dawn on them that, yes, actually, given the pain that he was in, suicide probably was the neatest, simplest, most permanent method of getting relief form his suffering.

So, OP. These guys are ignorant pompous a$$holes. Look for help and do what minimises your pain. If it helps, know that there are some people who do understand and wish you peace in whatever you choose.

Strokesfan

anomie_desuetud wrote:

One poster says go and look at the misery in Africa, Burma. How's that going to make him feel good?

I think it puts things into perspective.

anomie_desuetud wrote:

Then another post, my friend was all but perfect and he killed himself. Could it be that his brains, talents and beautiful girlfriend aren't the reasons he took his own life but were strong positives that would have made him hold on to life for longer than most, before he gave a permanent problem a permanent solution?

You didn't read the post properly - I think it was intended to point out that we sometimes have an eschewed vision of things and the OP might not be seeing what they have going for them and seeing a lot of negatives and disregarding the positives.

anomie_desuetud wrote:

make a careful decision about whether you want to carry on or not.

I found the above absolutely reckless advice and some of your post was very thoughtless. The OP came here to voice their concerns and you ramble on about suicide being :

anomie_desuetud wrote:

simplest, most permanent method of getting relief form his suffering.

I don't think any of your post was constructive. You simply come across as extremely bitter and angry.

anomie_desuetud wrote:

So, OP. These guys are ignorant pompous a$$holes.

- once again, bitter, angry bad advice. Come back when you've more than 3 posts and have something helpful to contribute.

anomie_desuetud

Strokesfan wrote:

I don't think any of your post was constructive. You simply come across as extremely bitter and angry.



- once again, bitter, angry bad advice. Come back when you've more than 3 posts and have something helpful to contribute.

Heh, you're spot on that I'm bitter and angry
I didn't intend that to colour my post though.

Bubs101

Longer ****??

The Bollox

Strokesfan wrote:

Come back when you've more than 3 posts and have something helpful to contribute.

post count isn't everything

OP. my advise to you is this: if you have any money saved then use it to travel somewhere and work there for a while. I am not in your situation but I really want to get out of this country, so I am going to Europe or America to work for a few months and clear my head, and I think it will do you the world of good to see other countries and meet new people.

Marksie

Bubs101: banned unhelpful posting, there had been a previous warning.


anomie_desuetud: I am giving you a warning on abuse of other posters, I am not banning you because this thread may give you the opportunity to get things off your chest. Do so in a polite fashion.

Colonel Sanders

anomie_desuetud wrote: »

Look, you guys don't have a clue what you are talking about. Get the finger out, let the penny drop, chin up, cheer up, be grateful for all the sh!t that's getting you down in the first place.

I mean, wtf?

One poster says go and look at the misery in Africa, Burma. How's that going to make him feel good?

Then another post, my friend was all but perfect and he killed himself. Could it be that his brains, talents and beautiful girlfriend aren't the reasons he took his own life but were strong positives that would have made him hold on to life for longer than most, before he gave a permanent problem a permanent solution?

And the six billion other lives out there? Do you expect this guy, with his severe depression, low self-esteem and hopelessness, to check out each life, measure it against his own and decide which of them earns a chance at suicide. Aren't all those ant-like people crawling around the globe god's way of reinforcing the fact that we are insignificant? If you are lucky enough to blithely and blindly pass through life you can't hope to see it the way he does.

All I'll say is that I recommend that anyone contemplating suicide should go and seek help before they attempt. If it's depression managable with medication then life might start looking a bit more bearable. But if it's recurrent nihilistic emptiness and a life scarred by mental illness then, yes, make a careful decision about whether you want to carry on or not.

Friends and family love you so much that no matter how bad you feel, no matter how the sadness is eating into you like a physical pain, no matter how much you hate the person you have to live your life inside of...., that you must stay alive so that they can selfishly have you around and avoid the stigma of a family suicide.
It makes no sense that the pain of being left behind by the suicide is "the real pain. the pain of going on wondering why the person did it.. ". If it's so bad, so bad it makes them want to rip their stomachs' out, makes them want to slash themselves and mutilate themselves... well, then they might begin to understand the pain the suicide was in... and it may dawn on them that, yes, actually, given the pain that he was in, suicide probably was the neatest, simplest, most permanent method of getting relief form his suffering.

So, OP. These guys are ignorant pompous a$$holes. Look for help and do what minimises your pain. If it helps, know that there are some people who do understand and wish you peace in whatever you choose.

if you notice these people said exactly what you said, they wished him well.

dont call people a%%holes. its not constructive

ryanairzer

OP, your problem is not so much that you suck, it's probably that you suck at the things society deems the most important qualities. You're probably unattractive and socially retarded. But there's all sorts of drugs you can get from your psychiatrist to sort out the depression and social retardation and CBT is very useful. Obviously you can't make yourself hot but you can shower daily and dress well, which pretty much makes you f*ckable. People who aren't losers don't call themselves losers. You are a loser but christ you can fix pretty much everything that makes you a loser. Go read The Bell Jar.

Jesus Wept

estar wrote: »

too right

about two years ago a guy i knew killed himself.

he was one of the best looking guys i ever met. he was a very talented individual. he seemed like he had it all. beautiful girlfriend. great future.

i bet he thought he sucked at life. i bet he thought himself into suicide with such thoughts.

im am quite disgusted that you research suicide. i empathise with your pain.
i do. but there is nothing like the pain of those left. thats real pain. the pain of going on wondering why the person did it. why they couldnt talk to you.
why you were so worthless that they left life, and left you in it.

dont even begin to tell me that leaving that pain behind is courageous.
i find it appalling that you think that people that leave life behind are the
brave ones.

go to africa. experience life over there. talk to suvivors of genocide whose
whole families have been killed in front of them, and come back and talk to
me about bravery. you don't even have to go to africa. look at the situation in burma. look around you. see what differences you can make. volunteer
to do something, like teach someone to read at a literacy programme. volunteer for the simon community. contribute and you will feel like you have a purpose. its way too easy to opt out.

i wish you the best. i wish that you will soon realise all the gifts that you
no doubt possess. i wish that you find your purpose in life. i wish that
you see that everyone has a purpose should you choose to find it.

not everyone is going to be famous, not everyone is going to be recognised as talented. not everyone is going to get what they want. thats not what life is about. life is about living every day well. living every day in the moment
contributing positively to the lives around you. that is how you dont suck.

only you know why you are so angry with yourself. if you wish to share that
and explore that there are a number of ways of doing it.

you could post here. you could speak to a counsellor. but exloring things you may find difficult to talk about really takes courage.

It's great that you took the time to post, and I'm sure the OP appreciates it, however personally, I really don't think going to Africa and seeing so much human suffering is ideal for someone who isn't enjoying life as it is.


I think it would just compound the OP's feelings.

kowloon

The-Rigger wrote: »

however personally, I really don't think going to Africa and seeing so much human suffering is ideal for someone who isn't enjoying life as it is.
I think it would just compound the OP's feelings.

Agreed...
I know plenty of people who have volunteered or traveled in poorer countries, but they were all positive and enthusiastic people before they left.
Someone who is depressed is not always going to respond well to being in that environment, it might bring an introvert person out of their shell, but i could make them worse.
I think its not sound advice unless given by a professional.

celestial

you can't tell someone who is depressed or down like that to get a grip because other ppl have it worse - that only makes things worse.

OP - go get some help, you deserve it - stop using internet forums and start with a good GP, the samaritans, www.aware.ie

don't forget - you're a good person and you deserve to treat yourself well - so go get that help from the right place

Beruthiel

ryanairzer wrote: »

OP, your problem is not so much that you suck, it's probably that you suck at the things society deems the most important qualities. You're probably unattractive and socially retarded. But there's all sorts of drugs you can get from your psychiatrist to sort out the depression and social retardation and CBT is very useful. Obviously you can't make yourself hot but you can shower daily and dress well, which pretty much makes you f*ckable. People who aren't losers don't call themselves losers. You are a loser but christ you can fix pretty much everything that makes you a loser. Go read The Bell Jar.

Clearly you have not read this forums Charter.
If you cannot make a helpful comment please refrain from posting.
Consider this your warning.
B

Teg Veece

I don't think that its right to say that people who commit suicide are cowards. Most of these people have suffered from extreme depression for years, have tried all they can and see no other alternative. Its not like they can just wake up one day and say to themselves that they are going to start afresh and suddenly cure their mental illness like in some Disney movie.

Also, I don't think that going to Africa to look at genocide survivors is the answer. In fact, its probably not even a possibilty. The OP is clearly suffering from depression and, from the sounds of things, seems to find it difficult to even step outside his front door so these suggestions of travelling to Africa or Burma are a wishy washy to say the least.

OP, you need to seek proper help. Tell someone close to you how you feel (parents, sibling or friend) and tell them that you'd like to talk to a professional about it. There a thousands more in a similar situation to you around Ireland alone and its important that you don't try to fight your problems on your own.

Mr. Incognito

OP, Please seek professional help. These feelings are not normal.