Ended a relationship

LegacyUser

Hi. i just ended it with my gf of 3 years. It was a long distance relationship, she lived outside the country.

I've been feeling so so about her for a while, not really texting her back, just going out and doing stuff on my own. I didnt really fill her in on stuff, and sometiems telling her i was at an event was such a chore.

She was besotted with me, and still is. She is a lovely girl who wouldnt harm a fly. Shes been totally faithful to me, and the perfect girl all around, yet i just couldnt return what she gave in the relationship. I dont feel the spark anymore. We were on the phone breaking up and she couldnt get a word out, i however could barely get a tear.

I am apauled at myself, because i know i love this girl.. im just not in love with her. I dont want to hurt anyone in any way at all, she is most definitly the last person on my list i would ever want to hurt yet im putting her through this hell.

Im starting to think that i should get back with her, just so that she doesnt have to go through the pain of being in a break up. Ill take the weight of the problems and just go on and live a lie. I've been doing it for a while now, why should it be any different to my usual daily routine that i just tried to get out of... I just realised i said "tried", so as you can see its pretty fresh in my head and i dont see us being over, but i dunno. I wasnt a good boyfriend to her and i didnt give her all the love she gave me. She would tell me that she loved me and i felt out of place saying it back.

I made the right decision didnt i? She was the perfect girl and i've ended it - im a fking idiot.

cornbb

It sounds like you might the right decision, and it was not an easy decision to make.

Changing your mind now would make you both unhappier in the long run. "Putting her through hell" is a necessary part of getting on with your lives. She may feel a lot of pain now but it will heal over time.

Wibbs

exactly as cornbb wrote and you can look at it this way, by breaking up with her you have caused her pain, but it will pass and you have given her the chance to meet someone who will be in love with her and cherish the day he met her and she him and that's good.

littlemizz

whoa....im in a similar situation myself....thing is im the loving gf that was dumped. my bf of 2yrs broke it off with me today, im completely broken, lost and inconsoleble i loved him so much yet he couldn give me the same love back. if he was thinking the same as you and took me back i would change completely even if that ment holding back some of the love i felt for him, anything to end this unbearable hurt i feel. its entirely up to you, she loves you probably will never love another guy as much you were her one.maybe in time youl come to love her also but if you doubt you will you could end up hurtin her even more.im only talkin from my experience and i no its probly not the right thing to do.....but doing the right thing is always hardest. go with ur heart......

LegacyUser

wow I could have written that post myself. 2 weeks ago I broke it off with my long distance boyfriend of 3 years for exactly the same reasons as you. He was crying hard, I found it hard to get out a tear, yet I can't remember any of the reasons I did it. All I can say is give it time, don't get back together just because you feel guilty. Really, she deserves someone who can say without a doubt that they are completely in love with her, and can't wait to talk to her every day. You deserve that too. This is what I am telling myself at the moment anyway!

Tragamin2k2

glad to know im not alone.broke up with my gf that i was with for a year and a half, 2 weeks ago, and found myself 2 days later wondering that reason i would put someone so innocent through something like that.but you did the right thing, you will think of getting back with her and stuff over the next while but if you do you and/or her will probably just get more hurt in that process.

i was sick of hearing this when i was living in regret 2 weeks ago but; time is the best healer. she will get on with her life even if it is hard, so will you and it will be hard.eventually you will be wondering why you worried so much about what seems like such a little thing but now its probably the main thing occupying(sp?) your mind. learn from experience, and dont regret it too much

axer

bwbbbee wrote:

Hi. i just ended it with my gf of 3 years. It was a long distance relationship, she lived outside the country.

I've been feeling so so about her for a while, not really texting her back, just going out and doing stuff on my own. I didnt really fill her in on stuff, and sometiems telling her i was at an event was such a chore.

She was besotted with me, and still is. She is a lovely girl who wouldnt harm a fly. Shes been totally faithful to me, and the perfect girl all around, yet i just couldnt return what she gave in the relationship. I dont feel the spark anymore. We were on the phone breaking up and she couldnt get a word out, i however could barely get a tear.

I am apauled at myself, because i know i love this girl.. im just not in love with her. I dont want to hurt anyone in any way at all, she is most definitly the last person on my list i would ever want to hurt yet im putting her through this hell.

Im starting to think that i should get back with her, just so that she doesnt have to go through the pain of being in a break up. Ill take the weight of the problems and just go on and live a lie. I've been doing it for a while now, why should it be any different to my usual daily routine that i just tried to get out of... I just realised i said "tried", so as you can see its pretty fresh in my head and i dont see us being over, but i dunno. I wasnt a good boyfriend to her and i didnt give her all the love she gave me. She would tell me that she loved me and i felt out of place saying it back.

I made the right decision didnt i? She was the perfect girl and i've ended it - im a fking idiot.

You did the right thing if you felt that way about the relationship. It is best for her that you break up now than drag it on. Its never easy but thats life. Both of ye will heal in time. Tis maybe best to stay away from each other i.e. communication-wise so that both can move on. Good luck.