Keep Chancing or Just Give Up?

LegacyUser

My Ex and I broke up well over a month ago because she didnt want a relationship. Reasons for this were because some times I was just too clingy and too loving (thats what she said, and I'll admit I was clingy now and again) but anyway...

Im still crazy in love with her and I know she still has feelings for me because shes doing her best to treat me bad and the usual things girls do, and now and again I would get the old affection that she used to show me!

I really wana try and win her back because shes really the love of my life but I dont really know how to win her back
Or should I just give up?

Could someone help me?

ali.c

shouldI? wrote:

My Ex and I broke up well over a month ago because she didnt want a relationship. Reasons for this were because some times I was just too clingy and too loving (thats what she said, and I'll admit I was clingy now and again) but anyway...

Im still crazy in love with her and I know she still has feelings for me because shes doing her best to treat me bad and the usual things girls do, and now and again I would get the old affection that she used to show me!

I really wana try and win her back because shes really the love of my life but I dont really know how to win her back
Or should I just give up?

Could someone help me?

I would recommend walking away. The reason she gave sounds to me the excuse i have used in the past when i didnt want a relationship with someone. Keep your dignity and let her go.

strawberrybox

how can someone be too loving?? clearly this was just an excuse to break up without an actual reason for it, it sounds like she just got sick of you probably ringing texting 24/7- the best thing you can do is to go out with your mates and start having fun and leave her well alone, in time she may start to see you as someone who is independant and fun to be around and may want to start things up with you again or you may just meet someone else in the mean time, but i would cut out the clingyness women hate that, while its nice to be appreciated and thought of it can all get a bit much if you have no freedom at all and all the "where are you, who you with, what time you coming back" can wear pretty thin-

Sorry if i sound harsh, you sound quite young, but independant strong men with there own sence of themselves are the type of men women usually go for

biko

You sound young (16-23?) and already say things like "shes really the love of my life". I can understand if she finds that a bit OTT.

Some people are more emotional than others, hopefully you'll soon find another soulmate who responds better to your emotions.

To seem less clingy:
Minimize public displays of affection to an occasional touch. Don't always sit next to her.
Keep texts to 2-4 a day.
Leave it open when you'll see her next time, "See you in the week sometime"

m2c

Marksie

strawberrybox wrote:

how can someone be too loving?? clearly this was just an excuse to break up without an actual reason for it, it sounds like she just got sick of you probably ringing texting 24/7- the best thing you can do is to go out with your mates and start having fun and leave her well alone, in time she may start to see you as someone who is independant and fun to be around and may want to start things up with you again or you may just meet someone else in the mean time, but i would cut out the clingyness women hate that, while its nice to be appreciated and thought of it can all get a bit much if you have no freedom at all and all the "where are you, who you with, what time you coming back" can wear pretty thin-

Sorry if i sound harsh, you sound quite young, but independant strong men with there own sence of themselves are the type of men women usually go for

My guess is too loving is a synonym for stifling her in the realtionship and i belive you are totally correct in your statement

shouldI? wrote:

I really wana try and win her back because shes really the love of my life but I dont really know how to win her back
Or should I just give up?

Love of your life??? How long were you dating? Do you think you may have scared the bejesus out of her?

Either? or?. No third way of stepping back and letting go, for thats what the whole issue is about.

If the relationship is dead its dead. Whether or not she still has feelings I got the mental impression that any affection would be greeted in the same way as an admonished puppy dog would come bounding back

shouldI? wrote:

Could someone help me?

No. You can only help yourself. By letting it go and being more rational.

Its a lesson to be learned about the difference for allowing affection and love become obsessional love.

blah

She's just not that into you.

Wibbs

shouldI? wrote:

My Ex and I broke up well over a month ago because she didnt want a relationship.

Translation? She didn't want a relationship with you.

Reasons for this were because some times I was just too clingy and too loving (thats what she said, and I'll admit I was clingy now and again) but anyway...

Loving, strength and emotional strength are required in a romantic relationship, but there has to be a balance. Now this is in general and we can forget the oul alpha male guff, but emotionally weak men are a big turn off for most women. Clingy is bad. telling her that without her you're nothing and that usual crapola will sooner or later cause women(and men) to lose respect and then feel you're less attractive. You are, simply because you're in effect telling them this. You're saying no one else could love me, I'm not too great and I can't believe you want me. Not good. Sooner or later they'll believe you and leave.

I know she still has feelings for me because shes doing her best to treat me bad and the usual things girls do,

Ehh not generally women who are past voting age and even before that.

and now and again I would get the old affection that she used to show me!

Ignore it, she's yanking your chain to see if you'll bark. If she wanted you she would be with you.

I really wana try and win her back because shes really the love of my life but I dont really know how to win her back

You can't win her back. You can only increase your chances of not winning her back. Begging, clingy, soppy behaviour will get you nowhere. Remember how you pulled her in the first place? Act like that. That's what she liked and wanted, not wishy washy boy she got and then left.

Or should I just give up?

Frankly I would. She's highly and I mean highly unlikely to be the love o your life. My first love? I hope all these years later she's happy in her life, but now I wouldn't touch with yours. Soooo not my type and when we split up due to distance I was sobbing into my liga and milk, praying for a second chance. Sob sob. Sheesh if I ever invent a time machine I'm going back to slap myself around for an hour and work in rubber hoses for good measure*

Point is there are plenty more fish in the sea and you will meet a few love of your life's if you're lucky. So learn from this and move on. Grow a pair, get less clingy, stand up for yourself and stand up for those who can't.








*BTW Mods, technically I am advocating violence, but it could only happen after I ripped apart the fabric of spacetime and I would be doing it to myself sooo I should be ok for a non banning.....

bostonian

strawberrybox wrote:

how can someone be too loving?? clearly this was just an excuse to break up without an actual reason for it, it sounds like she just got sick of you probably ringing texting 24/7- the best thing you can do is to go out with your mates and start having fun and leave her well alone, in time she may start to see you as someone who is independant and fun to be around and may want to start things up with you again or you may just meet someone else in the mean time, but i would cut out the clingyness women hate that, while its nice to be appreciated and thought of it can all get a bit much if you have no freedom at all and all the "where are you, who you with, what time you coming back" can wear pretty thin-

Sorry if i sound harsh, you sound quite young, but independant strong men with there own sence of themselves are the type of men women usually go for

agreed. you can never love too much. if it becomes too much, it isn't love. she was looking for a reason to bail, dude. let her go.

kf1920

Let her go, if she still has feelings, over time something may happen, or they'll die out. Either way, give her space imo