Chatting up a lady

LegacyUser

I know there has probably been many similar topics to this but anyway.

There's a new girl working in the shop in my college and I fancy the pants off her, to put it bluntly. She's foreign, I think maybe Polish or Czech. Anyway, she works there every day but is very rarely alone. There's usually the other staff member there or people in the shop. There's constantly people in the shop actually.

I've been planning on going in and just chatting to her. Finding out her name and then I'd have no problem talking to her afterwards. The problem is that I'm incredibly shy. I actually had a few lines planned. I'd ask her if she was studying in the college or just working there. Then ask where's she's from, and whatever else and finally ask her name shake hands and "nice to meet you" before leaving.

Anyway, today I was walking by and she was in the shop on her own for once. I went over said hello while looking for anything to buy. I then just asked her my planned question. She told me she was just working there and gave a little shy laugh, as you do when a lad asks you a strange question. That was me crapping myself then. My mind just went blank and I couldn't think of anything else to say. I just paid for my crisps and said goodbye.

She seems very friendly. Says hello, thank you and goodbye to everyone with a smile. Not very often you'd get that in Dublin.

So I kinda blew my chance today. Those that aren't shy probably don't understand how I bottled it. If it was a granny I'd have no problem talking to her. It was quite obvious to this girl that I was shy so there goes my plan of acting confident, smiling and joking.

Could anyone give me advise on how to best get chatting to her? What questions to ask, etc? Obviously I've no actual plans to ask her out just yet. I actually think asking her out would be easier than breaking the ice. My last resort is 6 pints down the pub at lunch and then going in and chatting to her, so I'd like to avoid that.

Latchy

Judging by recent post on the boards it seems polish girls and men are becoming very popular in ireland .....as for advice OP ? just try and be as natural as possible , you dont want to trip over your laces and make a fool of yourself.

Sparkle21

just be yourself and if all else fails practice chatting up one of your friends(a girl preferrabley)cause thats the best way to practice,

jdivision

Ask her where she's from, if she's been in Ireland long and what she thinks of it. Then if you've been to where she's from talk about what you thought about it. That's five minutes of conversation straight off the bat.

Dord

jdivision wrote:

Ask her where she's from, if she's been in Ireland long and what she thinks of it. Then if you've been to where she's from talk about what you thought about it. That's five minutes of conversation straight off the bat.

+1

If you haven't been there, say that you'd like to go there in the future. Ask about any good places to visit maybe?

Just try act natural.

Rob_l

Firts mistake you made was planning what you were going to say that made led to a big mental build in your mind alwasy a abd move


you had the right idea with your first line to her, the only chat up line I ever use is hi

LegacyUser

Rob_l wrote:

Firts mistake you made was planning what you were going to say that made led to a big mental build in your mind alwasy a abd move

You could be right but in fairness I think it would have happened either way. I just wish talking came natural to me. When I was trying to talk to her today I was like a bloody journalist asking a question. After a 2 or 3 drinks I could be myself and talk to her no bother but I don't want to have to do that. I'm 21 now and need to get a grip tbh.

_blank_

If you fancy her, you can be damn sure other lads do too.

You can also be damn sure that some of these other lads aren't as shy as you, and have already tried to chat her up.

Now, she might be sick and tired of it, or she may not be. You need to get in there and just chat to her as if she's a normal person, because, in reality that's what she is. And do it tomorrow, because if you don't then someone else will, and then it'll be too late for you.

Also bear in mind that a fair number of these Eastern European girls arrive over with boyfriends already, so be prepared for that too.

farva

I was in a similar situation before. I saw a girl in a local shop that I liked, I was in a good few times and couldn't think of any way to strike up a conversation other than the usual "hows it going today?" or "you look busy today". One day I had to buy wrapping paper for a father's day present or something, so I wandered around the shop for a bit, then went up to the till with a 2 sheets of wrapping paper, so I said to her something like "stupid question but do you think that this would be enough to cover (whatever the present was)?" It was stupid, but it made her laugh.

We chatted about the present and other small talk, she knew me to see at this stage. Next time I was in she asked me did my dad like the present, and the conversations just went from there. The toughest part is breaking the ice. After a while she even asked me to go to her birthday, never ended up going though...

LegacyUser

I finally plucked up the courage to talk to her 10 minutes ago. I'm delighted with myself. I was very nervous but I don't think I came across as such. The first question is always easy, "what time did you open the shop at?". Then I joked about still being asleep and that relaxed me a little.

I had a couple of questions planned. "where are you from?" followed by "how long have you been in ireland?". I felt I needed a follow up question as I didn't want to ask her where she's from and then be stuck for words. I didn't even have to ask the second question though. "I'm from Brazil. I've been here just one month". My fantasy! :eek: I got her name too which makes things a lot easier. So do I just let things flow now or does anyone have any tips on how to impress a Brazilian.

LegacyUser

I should also say that I know there's a very good chance she's not single but asking her out isn't even on my mind yet. If I found out today that she has a boyfriend I'd still be going out of my way to talk to her. Anyway, I think it'll help me in the future when it comes to talking to women.

Dord

Good on ya!

Latchy

If you really want to cut to the chase with this girl, why dont you learn some Polish or Czech ? Believe me, the fact that you took time to learn (some) of her language will really impress her know end .

Even if its just basic 'hello ,how are you ? ,good morning ,afternoon ,evening ...you have lovley eyes ......then you can learn more as you go along

BaZmO*

latchyco wrote:

If you really want to cut to the chase with this girl, why dont you learn some Polish or Czech ?

Haha, cos that'd impress a Brazilian girl.

Victor

BaZmO* wrote:

Haha, cos that'd impress a Brazilian girl.

Say 'Obrigado' (thank you) and pick up a few other words of Portugese.

Spoony2

good man :cool:

tampopo

Talk about that cheatin' flouncing around Brazilan goalkeeper Dida.

Or that wonderfully talented Brazilian player, Marta, who cheated like mad to get the US player sent off in the Women's World Cup semi-final last month. A disgrace.

Or talk about the Brit police shooting that innocent Brazilian John Charles de Menezes two years ago,(inquest ongoing at present)
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/7035620.stm


Or, "did ya see them dissing the Brazilian beef industry on Questions & Answers on Monday night?" (Brazilian Ambassador in the audience.)

Marksie

Tampopo: this is PI not the soccer forum or AH.

toco123

My fave lines are:

"I'm adam, wanna be my eve?"
"I'm pony, Wanna ride?"
"I'm your homework, do me on your desk!"

Or a more sweeter :

"you are so cool, there isn't a list long enough to write all the good things about you!"

Or the most upfront:

" My friend was just wondering, would you go out with me!?"


Hope this helps:D

Latchy

BaZmO*]Haha, cos that'd impress a Brazilian girl.

Eh i am sure it would as long as she understood polish or czech

dont forget OP when she throws her arms around you in that sexy polish /czech voice and says ' my lovley irish boy ' (assume your irish ?) who gave you the good advice .............:D

Tampopo - Or that wonderfully talented Brazilian player, Marta, who cheated like mad to get the US player sent off in the Women's World Cup semi-final last month. A disgrace.

Aint those women footballers a joy to watch ?

BaZmO*

latchyco wrote:

Eh i am sure it would as long as she understood polish or czech

dont forget OP when she throws her arms around you in that sexy polish /czech voice and says ' my lovley irish boy ' (assume your irish ?) who gave you the good advice .............:D

The girl he was talking to is Brazilian.

A Primal Nut

latchyco wrote:

Eh i am sure it would as long as she understood polish or czech

There's 0.000% chance of that.

OP, it can be difficult to get into a flowing conversation with a girl you like, so when it happens, its better to use the opportunity, even if its the first time. Girls don't like guys being hesitant, show your confidence by asking her out for a drink the next time you talk to her. Also allows you to get there ahead of everyone else. Easier said than done but the longer you leave it, the less likely she'll say yes, and the harder it will be for you to ask.

Rob_l

A Primal Nut wrote:

There's 0.000% chance of that.

OP, it can be difficult to get into a flowing conversation with a girl you like, so when it happens, its better to use the opportunity, even if its the first time. Girls don't like guys being hesitant, show your confidence by asking her out for a drink the next time you talk to her. Also allows you to get there ahead of everyone else. Easier said than done but the longer you leave it, the less likely she'll say yes, and the harder it will be for you to ask.

indeed its better to take your chances when you have.
OP i think you said she worked in the shop in college you could ask her when she gets her break and if she wanted to grab a quick coffee inocuos enough request, allows isolation better convo and furthering any hope for further rendevous.

Latchy

Quote - BaZmO*The girl he was talking to is Brazilian.

Ahhh , i was going on what the OP said below , good luck to him anyway .

There's a new girl working in the shop in my college and I fancy the pants off her, to put it bluntly. She's foreign, I think maybe Polish or Czech

.

Unreged53

Unreged53 wrote:

You could be right but in fairness I think it would have happened either way. I just wish talking came natural to me. When I was trying to talk to her today I was like a bloody journalist asking a question. After a 2 or 3 drinks I could be myself and talk to her no bother but I don't want to have to do that. I'm 21 now and need to get a grip tbh.

No, u never plan what ur gonna say, asking for trouble, 9 times outta 10 its a disaster cos the second the conversation breaks from ur intended flow u leave urself open to becomming rattled.



Follow the 3 second rule, walk in, dont think about it, then when u see her, act within 3 seconds therefore ur an autopilot rather than running off a pre rehersed conversation. It will come across and feel more natural, trust me it works.

milkerman

Why dont you just ask her out?
She might even say yes, it has been known to happen. Some girls like the brash approach but a good many find the 'chat up line' too cheesy. I always found good eye contact and a clear expression of interest to be the best approach.
Her English may not be 100% and some fancy lines would be lost on her.

Knockoff Nige

Try this approach.

'Hi how are you doing today'

'not bad thanks'

'I'm glad, i fell down the stairs this morning, very embarrassing'

'oh dear, are you alright'

'yeah, not hurt thanks for asking.... so have you a logn day ahead?'

blah blah blah, you're in the conversation, keep talking. then say, 'ooh must go, late for class. hey, would you be interested in meeting up for a drink sometime?'

I really dont know what her response will be but I think you'll have given yourself a fair chance.

LegacyUser

'Would you guys still have no problem going into the shop and chatting to her if she rejected you asking her out? I don't know if I could. That's why I'd prefer to find out if she has a boyfriend - by asking whether she's been out in the pubs/clubs much since she arrived. If I find out she hasn't got a boyfriend I'd still probably play it safe. What would people think of something like this. Friday comes along and I ask her what her plans are for the weekend. If she tells me she's going out Friday, Saturday and Sunday then fair enough. If she says she has no plans I'd say something like "you're more than welcome to come out with me" (given the fact she's only here a month).

What does that sound like? It's not really a yes or no question so she'll probably just giggle. If this was someone in a club I wouldn't have to take the safe root but I have to see her every single day.

again, I know I probably shouldn't be using "lines" but I pretty much have to plan this thing out. '

bostonian

Unreged53 wrote:

I finally plucked up the courage to talk to her 10 minutes ago. I'm delighted with myself. I was very nervous but I don't think I came across as such. The first question is always easy, "what time did you open the shop at?". Then I joked about still being asleep and that relaxed me a little.

I had a couple of questions planned. "where are you from?" followed by "how long have you been in ireland?". I felt I needed a follow up question as I didn't want to ask her where she's from and then be stuck for words. I didn't even have to ask the second question though. "I'm from Brazil. I've been here just one month". My fantasy! :eek: I got her name too which makes things a lot easier. So do I just let things flow now or does anyone have any tips on how to impress a Brazilian.

ah you are talking to the guru now. i speak portuguese and have dated many brazilian girls, been to brazil as well with one. good craic down there if you ever have the opportunity.

1. when you ask what part she is from, do not ask if that is near rio or sao paulo. EVERYONE asks them that. also, if you can't find brazil on a map, don't waste your time.

2. remember what brazilian men are like- they surf and many smoke pot. few, if any, are uptight, it's a laidback culture. if you aren't laidback, move on.

3. she will be wildly impressed if you go to this shop with a little portuguese phrasebook and ask her to help you with the pronounciation. you don't have to actually learn any.

dublincityvic

I always use the line "Hi my name is 'chance'...Do i have one?" cuts to the chase..no pussy footing around..works 60% of the time everytime!

Latchy

Quote bostonian - . she will be wildly impressed if you go to this shop with a little portuguese phrasebook and ask her to help you with the pronounciation. you don't have to actually learn any.

Regardless of what nationality she is ,she will always be impressed that you are attempting learning her language .

I was on a bus recently and this blonde girl was asking for directions so on hearing were she wanted to go i explained i was going to the same place (i was ) and offered to escort her there ,which i did and i had the most pleasent 10 minute chat .She thanked me and then said ' see ya ' and i thought ..if only ?

LegacyUser

There is some pretty good advice here bar the chat up lines..don't use them. I just thought I'd chime in and say not to be too worried about coming across as quiet or shy. Personally I prefer quieter ,less in your face kind of men . Lots of women do. If she already likes the look of you she'll might find it endearing. Often more is said by a shy smile or a coy glance about how much someone fancies you than is ever communicated in a corny chat up line. If I was you I think I'd ask how she finds Ireland and if she knows many people yet. If she's only here a month chances are that she won't... cue easy opportunity to extend the hand of friendship/welcome and ask her for a coffee. Something casual and unintimidating all around might be best first time if you're naturally shyer yourself. Then if you like her and she seems to like you ,you can ask her out properly. Also if she brushes you off or says no nothing is lost and you can face into the shop again easier the following day .Good luck!