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how can i even consider getting back in the game

  • 08-10-2007 10:53AM
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi Im a mid 20's guy living in dublin. For the past almost 4 years I've been with a fantastic girl who i love very much. However we never really had a huge amount of time for each other. when we did see each other it was great but lately i wanted more. We are not in a position to advanced presently because of the long distance and I started to get resentful of the situation. I ended it with her recently a few weeks ago. It ended nicely if you want to call it that. I have hurt her. I absolutely hate myself now for hurting her. There is a terrible feeling of guilt and 'have i done the right thing'. Sometimes I think i have done the right thing, that a decision has been made that needed to be made for both our benefits and that it is for the best. Other times i reminiss and it makes me sad and pine for her. However i know if we were to get back together the problems would still be there.
    Lately my friends want me to come out with them to go into town. I'm trying to keep busy to keep my mind off things. We went into town over the weekend. There were beautiful girls everywhere but it only really made me aware of how not ready I am right now to even consider getting into the dating game (never mind it being disrespectful to my ex on the other side of the country). Even if i were to see a girl again that I like, ive been with my ex for so long I dont even know how to chat some girl up. I'm not good at the chatting up thing. I dont even know how to kiss another girl. Is feeling this way normal after the breakup of a serious relationship.
    I'm posting anon here for obvious reasons!


Comments

  • #2
    Seraphina
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,875 ✭✭✭Seraphina


    dude thats how EVERYONE feels after the break up of a long term relationship.
    if you're not ready, then just trying chatting to a few girls that catch your eye to get back into the swing of things, but there's no rush.

    ffs people are married for years and think that there'll never be anyone else, only for it to end for whatever expected or unexpected reason. you're still young in the grand scheme of things, there's nothing to be worried about.
    it'll all come back to you at some stage (most likely when you feel ready to move on) remember man has been getting it on long before this 'chattin up' malarky. i frankly hate being 'chatted up' i prefer men to just talk to me normally.


  • #3
    Talliesin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,314 ✭✭✭Talliesin


    headwrecked wrote:
    (never mind it being disrespectful to my ex on the other side of the country)
    ex-1

    (also e-; ef- before f)
    1. out: exclude.
    2. upward: extol.
    3. thoroughly: excruciate.
    4. referring to removal or release: excommunicate.
    5. forming verbs which indicate inducement of a state: exasperate.
    6. referring to a former state: ex-husband.
    [ > Latin ex "out of"]

    It's not disrespectful to your ex to be with someone else, she's your ex. Referring to a former state. Ceased to be. See also Python, Monty; "Dead Parrot Sketch".

    All the rest of what you described is a normal grieving process for something you have lost. But please, don't engage in silly talk like the above or it could stick with you once you're ready to date again, and that'll just lead to bad things for all concerned.


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