I find it hard to meet girls.

LegacyUser

I’m at 19 year old going on 20 male in my 2nd year of college. The social circles I run in are all drink orientated but I not big into drinking like I have gone about 4 months without having a single drink and on a night out in a club I would only have about 4 pints and maybe a shot or two if not less and I rarely get drunk. The main reason I drink is so that I relax and bite the bullet and talk to random girls but I never do take the chance because I get scared. Even when I am getting all the singles I don’t act because I am very causish (spelling?).

Like take this a few months ago I met this group of girls and one lad, think the lad asked for my number because we where going to be in the same class and he didn’t know any other lads. I say my number out loud he puts its in his phone, then I get a text off a number I didn’t have in my phone book I think its him but then the text says “Hi, I’m Áine the girl in the green top” which was one of his friends I mean how much of a hint is that. Then we were walking around and me and her are taking but then she says something about the other lad and results in me talking to him about it and not talking to her. Thing is I was really into this girl and I guess she was into me but did I act on this.

My mates love going out to nightclubs but TBH with you I’m sick of them I’ve been going to them since I was about 15. I do like going off and dancing with my mates and taking the píss but that is about it.

Sometimes I think that I will just end up single for the rest of my life because I am waiting the right girl to find ME and not the other way around.

I’m not to gone on girls who get hammered each night they go out and end up with some scumbag.

I want to go off traveling around the world, do stuff like rock climbing ect and I also play a lot of football I even represent my college but I don’t even like watching football anymore which is a big shock to me because I used to love watching it.

The other day I saw this girl who had a very similar style to my own. I saw her looking over at me but the thought didn’t even come into my mind to go over to her and chat to her and maybe give her my number or take hers. Even if he had I know I wouldn’t have the guts to go over and talk to her.

I don’t know what I’m gonna do like if I’m not gonna take the risk and go over and talk to random girls and with Irish culture saying that it is unacceptable for females to go over and chat up males.

I also think I rely too much on my looks and I am a very picky person.

I know I need a push but I don’t know how this is going to happen.

tSubh Dearg

This is my top tip for meeting single girls outside of the pubbing and clubbing scene, however it only really works if you can sing.

Join a choir. I know this may seem like the usual PI advice but the one thing choir have which a lot of other activites mightn't is lots and lots and lots of single women.

Choirs are crying out for any male members that can hold a tune to plump out the tenor and bass sections to match the over crowded soprano and alto sections.

There is a lot of casual chat between members in the choir, this would help you with your confidence to approach girls. There's nothing more natural than going over to a girl in a choir and asking "what do you think of the piece?" as a general piece of chit chat.

In fact you might find girls doing this to you, why wouldn't they chat to some guy in the choir, while standing in line for a cup of tea or whatever.

Plus you get the pleasure of making music and the thrill of perfoming in front of an audience.

mikemac

I just know you stole that advice about the choir from American Pie

Good advice though and worth trying out

Latchy

Nothing worse than trying to tell a female all about yourself and your life in 5 minutes and expect her to take it all in .Take it easy on yourself .
If you meet a girl ask her about herself ,her intrests,hobbies etc ,give her some nice compliments ,put the focus on her not you, and most importantly just be yourself

Overheal

I dont know if id ever be one to meet a girl in the pub... or the club... or the street corner for that matter...

My best advice OP is to stop worrying about it - you'd only give off a weird Desparation vibe. In my experience though Im the same age as you and let me tell you: they dont come to you.
I do like to be different though; most of the time I'll dress outlandishly and say the stupidest ****e - because its either going to a) throw them off and scare them away completely (oh, I get it a lot... but because of the way it happens its absolutely hilarious) or b) they find it to be great and a conversation ensues.... erm.... that hasnt happened yet at least not with someone i didnt know already.

In short: the only thing you're doing in the club is having a laugh and thats honestly all its for: hell, I chat up my friends' Gf's in the club because hey we're all drinking and havin a laugh and its not as if something is going to happen - I learned that long ago

but outside in the real world just be yourself: go join a club or society, maybe a martial art or something (good craic, and ooh... physical )

Dont panic that it hasnt happened yet - at some stage somebody comes along and you'll try one thing or the other and you'll just click. Takes a long time and theres no real method to it but I will tell you when you talk to any girl whether platonically or not: be honest, it totally works ^_^

by the way: Cautious*

af_thefragile

Hey, i'm in exactly the same situation as you... Turned 20 just 2 days ago and going into my 2nd year in coll...
My college starts tomorrow and i'm quite much looking to get back into some sorta relationship/friendship after my recent horrible break up.

I'm pretty much almost the same as Overheal, I do end up saying some really stupid ****... which made me come off as an arrogant and cocky dickhead... But then i sorta eased off on that and act more normal now... As obviously being blatantly arrogant and cocky doesn't work!
Though i'm naturally cocky, so can't really help that bit and apparently chicks dig that too!

And then... dunno the point of my post, probably just letting you know you're not alone in this!!

But one thing... The best way to get a chick is to not look for one!! Just don't. Be yourself, be cool and play along with whatever comes your way. If you try looking for a chick, you'll end up messing things up and even give off the desperate vibe which is a big no no!

SO all you need to do is sit back, relax, be cool... Speak to em as if you'ld be speaking to another guy you've just met. Look for making friends first. Once you've gotten to know her well and she's responding well to you, you can move ahead and try taking things further.
Knocking her off the wall with an absurd comment on the first instance you meet her will drive things horribly wrong if you're not able to pull it off well all throughout to the end of it.

Good luck with it dude. If you ever feel like sharing any experiences or anything, feel free to PM as i'm pretty much in the same boat as you... Maybe we all can help eachother out here!