Is this girl interested? I'm baffled!

LegacyUser

Ok, I have been friends with this girl( lisa) for a few years but over the last couple of years she has got pretty flirtatious with me, I'll give you a few examples.

1) She would accidentaly txt me if she was out and i was out and maybe she'd come meet me or she'd ask me to come meet her/

2) If we were out together she'd txt to see if i got home ok... (i'm 6' 4' and a black belt in judo...!) conversation would start from there and sometimes go on for an hour or 2.

3) Our conversations would involve a lot of her saying shes ugly,fat,or that outfit she was wearing didnt look good then i would give her some positive feedback.

4) She would always ask me to dance and hold my hand on the dancefloor (she says this is just a girl thing... yes if your scoring them!)

5) She has started going to the places i would go out more.

6) This is gonna sound lame but she tends to smile a lot when were together.

7) Some of my friends girls and guys say she likes me.

I havent made a move yet (im am useless at this situations) And i dont really want to if im still in the friend pigeonhole!

Any ideas??

Beruthiel

She's blatantly throwing herself at you and yet still you're as blind as a bat.
Perhaps she should purchase a sledge hammer and knock you over the head with it.
Ask her out to dinner now!

jawlie

rdaindublin wrote:

I havent made a move yet (im am useless at this situations) And i dont really want to if im still in the friend pigeonhole!

Any ideas??

You have not said if you are interested in her, but only that you think she may be interestd in you.

Why not ask youself if you like her? Do you want to have a relationship which is more than friends? If yes, then suggest it to her. If not, then don't suggest it to her.

How about being led by what you want, and not by what you think she may or may not want?

LegacyUser

thanks for the quick replies! Yes i am very interested in her, we were at a ball on friday night in town. We pretty much danced with each other the whole night and couldnt take our eyes off each other,but i'm still cautious about making a move!

Beruthiel

rdaindublin wrote:

but i'm still cautious about making a move!

Seriously, if you're interested, what the hell are you waiting for?

LegacyUser

I'm not sure, But if shes so interested why hasnt she tried to kiss me or something!

Were going out on saturday with a few people so i will do something about it then!

kf1920

sounds like shes definitely interested, you are too so whats stopping ya?

Beruthiel

rdaindublin wrote:

But if shes so interested why hasnt she tried to kiss me or something!

Because she has thrown a million signals at you and you've ignored them all, she probably thinks you're not interested.

LegacyUser

kf1920 wrote:

sounds like shes definitely interested, you are too so whats stopping ya?

Like i said im pretty useless in these situations as i was in one a few years ago and misread it, it went horribly wrong!

Will be seeing her on saturday night we dance quite a bit so i think ill make my move then, lets hope i dont go down in flames!

ciotog

rdaindublin wrote:

I'm not sure, But if shes so interested why hasnt she tried to kiss me or something!

Were going out on saturday with a few people so i will do something about it then!

Why put it off? Also, wouldn't it be better for just the two of you to get together?

LegacyUser

ciotog wrote:

Why put it off? Also, wouldn't it be better for just the two of you to get together?

Its for a mutaul friends birthday so there will be a good few people there. Though i'm sure we can go off and find somewhere for a chat

Knockoff Nige

Try this line:

So, what type of guy are you interested in

(when she describes you to a T, and asks you what type of girl you're interested in say..)

Someone very much like you.

You cant miss.

Wibbs

Actually that's a good plan from Knockoff Nige

LegacyUser

Knockoff Nige wrote:

Try this line:

So, what type of guy are you interested in

(when she describes you to a T, and asks you what type of girl you're interested in say..)

Someone very much like you.

You cant miss.

That my friend is a genius plan!

AckwelFoley

Im gonna be blunt mate.

You need to spend less time thinking bout it and abit more action.

Go for it!

Beruthiel

Be sure to come back here afterwards and tell us how right we were

randombar

"6' 4' and a black belt in judo " Course she likes you haha!

Go for it man, been there a few times, takes a bit of balls but no matter what happens you'll be glad you had de balls to do it anyways!

cold_filter

Be like a needle... straight to the point! Give her one for the team!

Knockoff Nige

rdaindublin wrote:

That my friend is a genius plan!

And who says lines dont work?

kf1920

Knockoff Nige wrote:

Try this line:

So, what type of guy are you interested in

(when she describes you to a T, and asks you what type of girl you're interested in say..)

Someone very much like you.

You cant miss.

Thats actually a great idea, if she does cop it from that that u lik her , the only other thing u can do is wear a sign stating u like her

Zulu

You moran - you are so in. good for you

Knockoff Nige

Zulu wrote:

You moran - you are so in. good for you

yeah, you're such a Kevin Moran

Zulu

...blasted spell checker!
Rumbled again.

Colonel_McCoy

Make a move..........before somebody else does

How Strange

Colonel_McCoy... Make a move..........before somebody else does

+1. Go for it. Good luck although I doubt you need it.

SarahSassy

rdaindublin wrote:

thanks for the quick replies! Yes i am very interested in her, we were at a ball on friday night in town. We pretty much danced with each other the whole night and couldnt take our eyes off each other,but i'm still cautious about making a move!

Will ya just get on with it before she gets bored trying to come on to you...

Talliesin

rdaindublin wrote:

I havent made a move yet (im am useless at this situations) And i dont really want to if im still in the friend pigeonhole!

Any ideas??

Here's an idea. Grow a pair.

And sod asking her what she likes in a man, that could just mis-direct her away "oh dear, must think of things I like that don't correspond with him so he doesn't know I fancy him".

Just make a move. Worse comes to the worse you'll be a tad embarrassed for all of 3 seconds and that's it. If she is only interested in you as a friend then she's clearly very interested in you as a friend so will just find it flattering that someone she holds in such high esteem fancies her.

And really, that doesn't seem the more likely possibility by a long shot.

bronte

She definitely likes you op!! Make a move at the birthday...you won't fail!

strawberrybox

as a woman i can tell you she is defo defo interested we dont go through all that bother for nothing, how much more does she have to do?? I think you know this already but just want some re-assurance before you make your move but do it soon or she will just get fed up and assume you are not interested.

Reku

Reading this I get a sneaking feeling that I could've had a few more girlfriends than I have since I've had numerous female friends act a bit like this...
I always just follow the principle of if she felt something she'd say so, everyone has different views of what's flirting (apparently I unintentionally flirt a lot but I sure as hell don't intend to, I'm just being friendly) so short of someone saying that they like you you can't really say for sure from flirting. I don't know..., not going to change who I am after this many years but I will wish the OP good luck, hopefully you'll find many years of happiness together.

The question this topic does raise is why can't women stop depending on "signals" and "signs" which many lads are oblivious to and just say that they like them, if you want equality it's a bit unfair to leave it all up to the lads as to whether you date or not?

adonis

try a hip throw on her...

SarahSassy

farohar wrote:

I always just follow the principle of if she felt something she'd say so...

The question this topic does raise is why can't women stop depending on "signals" and "signs" which many lads are oblivious to and just say that they like them, if you want equality it's a bit unfair to leave it all up to the lads as to whether you date or not?

Cos women can be shy too..... Maybe you are giving them mixed signals... It works both ways and life would be so simple if none of us had confidence issues.....

LegacyUser

jawlie wrote:

Why not ask youself if you like her? Do you want to have a relationship which is more than friends? If yes, then suggest it to her. If not, then don't suggest it to her.

How about being led by what you want, and not by what you think she may or may not want?

Absolutely hit the nail on the head. Never mind signs and signals, although it sounds like she is into you, you still can't be 100% sure. The only thing you can be sure about is how you feel about her. Take it from there.

Oh, and ask the girl out for godsakes!! : )

clickerquicklic

grow some balls ask her out you need to realise all she can say is no and if she says no just get her locked

Mr. Incognito

No it's obvious she hates you.

Cop on.

Caliden

Aks her out to a movie that you both would enjoy. Friends don't go to the movies alone together and it's subtle first move towards dating.

Overheal

If you're that close it should be a very striaghtforward matter just to have a no-bs talk about it ?

biko

Do this: Whenever you are out on a night next time wait 2-3 drinks or so then stand close to her and say: "Know what would really make this a good night?"
When she says "No", lean in a kiss her on the lips for about a second, no peck.
Then lean back and look into her eyes, they will tell you if it's OK to lean in for seconds

littlemizz

i have got 2 say from a female perspective she is most certainly interested mate! thats how girls flirt with guys and she is obviously 2 shy to make the first move and is waiting on you to take charge!:D hope it alll goes to plan!

Overheal

biko wrote:

Do this: Whenever you are out on a night next time wait 2-3 drinks or so then stand close to her and say: "Know what would really make this a good night?"
When she says "No", lean in a kiss her on the lips for about a second, no peck.
Then lean back and look into her eyes, they will tell you if it's OK to lean in for seconds

god, that sounds so my style. I kiss you for suggesting it

Corkgirl21

biko wrote:

Do this: Whenever you are out on a night next time wait 2-3 drinks or so then stand close to her and say: "Know what would really make this a good night?"
When she says "No", lean in a kiss her on the lips for about a second, no peck.
Then lean back and look into her eyes, they will tell you if it's OK to lean in for seconds

That is the definitely the thing to do. If I liked a guy (and she obviously likes you) and he did that I would be weak at the knees!

LegacyUser

Dude the amount of times I've read bloke's with not even women issue's but a lack of confidance to make a move is some thing else.

I personally have allways allways had an issue with women, not so much women but actuly my self. I can't actuly figure out what exactly why but I never make a move i think its down to the fact that im very private and i dont like people seeing me kissing othr women it anoy's the **** out of me.

all i can say is to any one in his position theres nothing wrong with makeing a pass or chating up a woman.

signals

prolonged eye contact.

allways face towars you touching

in this dudes case, asking for aproval=ie im ugly or im fat he says dont be silly.

smile's

touch,

licking of the lips

now this is a stupid one and ive never ever understood how
this one works or how your suposed to read it but apprently womens eyes dialate when there attracted to you but how can you see the blacks in there eye's if your in a club.

but any way you can bye dating books of the interenet bye a dude called david dialangalo. and do you no what it does'nt work because these books incourage you to change your personality from good to just not your true self.

so all il say is dude go forth on your own accord in your own way dont try br cheasey you seem level headed so do whats right for you and her. not some ones other idea of how to attract a woman.

you know your in, We know your in, She's knows your in.

all you wanted was the conformation.

and if you allready snoged the face off her well done and good luck.

Talliesin

Caliden wrote:

Friends don't go to the movies alone together and it's subtle first move towards dating.

What are the cinemas like where you live? :eek:

Still, not a dreadful idea precisely because you are wrong - it is something friends do, but it is also a common date situation, so it could be a stepping stone.

In all though, I say avoid stepping stones and go for something that's definitely a date.

K-9

biko wrote:

Do this: Whenever you are out on a night next time wait 2-3 drinks or so then stand close to her and say: "Know what would really make this a good night?"
When she says "No", lean in a kiss her on the lips for about a second, no peck.
Then lean back and look into her eyes, they will tell you if it's OK to lean in for seconds

Or get her to describe the perfect man. She should, or you should mention it if she doesn't, like a man who leads.

There's your cue! Kiss! Use your fingertips on her neck while kissing and you're in!

jawlie

eh? wrote:

Absolutely hit the nail on the head. Never mind signs and signals, although it sounds like she is into you, you still can't be 100% sure. The only thing you can be sure about is how you feel about her. Take it from there.

Oh, and ask the girl out for godsakes!! : )

It depends what you want. I've often found the direct approach works, and girls are very attracted to a cheeky boy who dares to ask. You'd be surprised how often people answer yes when they are asked a direct question question, and if they say no then you are no worse off.

Pyjamarama

jawlie wrote:

I've often found the direct approach works, and girls are very attracted to a cheeky boy who dares to ask. You'd be surprised how often people answer yes when they are asked a direct question question, and if they say no then you are no worse off.

Very true, it shows confidence and that you've got some balls, much more attractive than pussyfooting around! Amazing the things you can get away with with a bit of cheeky charm!

The Sweeper

Why hasn't she tried to kiss you yet? Because you're 6 ft 4" tall and unless she goes to the trouble of dragging up a barstool I'm assuming she'd have to jump a little - not the easiest way to make a first pass, unless she wants to nut you in the chin...

milkerman

Of course she fancies you.
If you like her, just tell her so and that you want to go out with her - full stop.The chat up lines & cute moves suit some blokes but not all. Just be direct.
Leave signs & signals to the sea scouts.

lordgoat

Beruthiel wrote:

She's blatantly throwing herself at you and yet still you're as blind as a bat.
Perhaps she should purchase a sledge hammer and knock you over the head with it.
Ask her out to dinner now!

I rarely post in here as there are enough wise people here. But Beruthiel is generally right in her advice. If you haven't taken it already do it.

It's simple and asking a girl to dinner sends a clear message.

Riesen_Meal

Good stuff OP.....

Sounds like your well in there!

Just bring it up a gear, nicely....

LegacyUser

'

rdaindublin wrote:

Ok, I have been friends with this girl( lisa) for a few years but over the last couple of years she has got pretty flirtatious with me, I'll give you a few examples.

1) She would accidentaly txt me if she was out and i was out and maybe she'd come meet me or she'd ask me to come meet her/

2) If we were out together she'd txt to see if i got home ok... (i'm 6' 4' and a black belt in judo...!) conversation would start from there and sometimes go on for an hour or 2.

3) Our conversations would involve a lot of her saying shes ugly,fat,or that outfit she was wearing didnt look good then i would give her some positive feedback.

4) She would always ask me to dance and hold my hand on the dancefloor (she says this is just a girl thing... yes if your scoring them!)

5) She has started going to the places i would go out more.

6) This is gonna sound lame but she tends to smile a lot when were together.

7) Some of my friends girls and guys say she likes me.

I havent made a move yet (im am useless at this situations) And i dont really want to if im still in the friend pigeonhole!

Any ideas??

Go for it! what you've described sounds exactly like how I was acting round my best male friend for ages - good news is that we finally got together years ago, and have just had our two year wedding anniversary :-)

The girl sounds like she is doing all she can to give you the "in" to ask her out, while trying to not come straight out and say it bluntly to you, for fear she might freak you out and lose you as a friend if you're not interested.

As I said, I did all of what you said for months and months, and it still took a brazen effort on my part to finally get us together (a text that could not be read as anything other than a blatent come-on), as although he felt the same way, he was afraid he was just reading my signals as being best-matey rather than flirting, and didn't want to risk freaking me out in case he was wrong. Am I glad one of us got the guts up to make the first obvious move!

I'll break it down relating to your points as to how it happened with us:

on point 1 - I did this, innocently texting to "let him know" I was in such and such a pub if he fancied coming in for a pint, and was secretly thrilled when he did as it would mean he wanted to spend time in my company

point 2 - not applicable as we were in a houseshare together, but I would text late at night from bed to say "goodnight", as it let him know I was thinking of him late at night (you get my drift here.....)

point 3 - it's a great way to guage if someone actually thinks you look good, as if the response is just "ah you look fine" then they're just being nice to try to get you to shut up, but if it's a "you look fantastic/gorgeous/stunning in that outfit" it's a stronger sign they actually like you

point 4 - not exactly the same, but if we were having a party in our house, I'd sit beside him on the couch, and "doze off" on his shoulder - it's all physical contact, and most girls I know don't go touching male mates unless there's some sense of intimacy or attraction

point 5 - she's going to the same places so you can spend more time in each other's company, and possibly to make sure you're not interested in some other girl in case she makes a fool of herself by making a move when you're chasing someone else and not interested in her at all

point 6 - it's obvious, isn't it! she smiles more because she's happy around you!

point 7 - if your friends are noticing too, it's because it's obvious to them - virtually all of our friends had copped myself and my fella were mad about each other and said it often to each of us seperately, even though we'd never admit to it, in case it got back to each other and freaked the other out, IYKWIM?

What I'm trying to say is - go for it, it sounds to me (having been there as that girl and done that and ended up married to the guy) that you are most definitely not in the friend pigeonhole anymore, but she is unsure if you feel the same way and is afraid that if she makes a move and you don't fancy her, you will get awkward round her and she'll lose you as a friend too.

Go for it! It doesn't really matter how you broach the topic, whether it's getting her out on her own for a drink with you, sitting together chatting in a mates' house party, whatever, just push things a little further, sling your arm round her and lean in close, and you'll soon be able to tell if you lean in that she'll reciprocate!!!'