Old GirlFriend

LegacyUser

ok strange situation here.

Earlier this year i finally got together with this girl id been crazy about for ever. We had kissed before a couple of times and flirted non stop We had a fantastic few months, but the sex was never great and for the last month was non existant. So we called it a day. (she actually got with someone str8 away, you could call it a holiday fling)

We have remained very good friends and im very good friends with her family aswell.

Well recently it has been like the old times before we got together, she is really flirty around me and im really confused. Does this mean she wants to get back with me or what. We doin all the old stuff we used to do before we got together.

Am i reading the signs right or am i reading way too much into this??????

How Strange

Unre11450871145....Earlier this year i finally got together with this girl id been crazy about for ever. We had kissed before a couple of times and flirted non stop We had a fantastic few months, but the sex was never great and for the last month was non existant. So we called it a day.

OP, you should remember the reasons why you didn't make it the first time around. You said the sex between you wasn't great. Does that mean it was awful? Sometimes that just happens between two people despite their attraction. Do you think the sex will be any better this time around? And if it isn't will it be a reason to break up again?

Could it be that you are her fall back guy? She only starts flirting with you when there is no-one else around? She certainly didn't hang around when you broke up before.

geuro

yep i would stay away from this one op.. does'nt sound like things are very likely to work out this time, and there is nothing worse than bad sex :eek:

jawlie

Unre11450871145 wrote:

ok strange situation here.

.... So we called it a day. (she actually got with someone str8 away, you could call it a holiday fling)

Well recently it has been like the old times before we got together, she is really flirty around me and im really confused. Does this mean she wants to get back with me or what. We doin all the old stuff we used to do before we got together.

Am i reading the signs right or am i reading way too much into this??????

What you seem to be saying is that you had a relatinoship, it didn't work out, you both decided to part, and now you ar considering getting back together?

While I am sure there will, as usual, be lots of people who will want to rush in here and give their opinions and offer all sorts of what they imagine to be helpful advice, ask yourself this;

Even if she is wanting to rekindle your relationship, do you want that?

And, if you do, what makes you think this time it will be different, and will have a different outcome?

DD

Unre11450871145 wrote:

ok strange situation here.

Earlier this year i finally got together with this girl id been crazy about for ever........ but the sex was never great and for the last month was non existant. So we called it a day. (she actually got with someone str8 away, you could call it a holiday fling)

Well recently it has been like the old times before we got together, she is really flirty around me and im really confused. Does this mean she wants to get back with me or what. We doin all the old stuff we used to do before we got together.

Am i reading the signs right or am i reading way too much into this??????

First ...why wasnt the sex great?
Even u two are great together, sex still is very important in a relationship. So ..see if u can solve the sex problem, until then there useless to start it again, u will have the same issue sooner or later

Wibbs

Her acting flirty around you is not always a sign she wants to go back. She may just like the attention now that she's single(even if she's not), especially if she spots you still carry a torch for her. Women are generally far better at spotting that stuff too. You could also be her safety net until someone she wants to be with comes along. Do not fall into that trap. I would say that generally women are more likely to do that with men that they know like them. Women are more likely to say the "lets be friends" after a relationship has gone south as an example of that kind of thinking.

Basically you have to tell her how you feel and discuss the possibility of trying again from a clean slate. If she says she's confused or just says no, walk away. I know it will be difficult, but at the moment if you're around her and acting like a proxy boyfriend, she gets to have the best of both worlds. She has your support, yet she's single and that will continue until as I wrote she finds a real boyfriend. Fair enough, a lot of people will go along with that as it's easy. If you walk away respectfully, she will know what it's like to not have you in her life and that should ease her confusion and be forced to make a decision either way. This isn't a game or selfish on your part. It's better for you both not to be stuck in the current limbo, if that's how you see it. It won't be easy considering your connection to her and her family, but taking a stand is better in the long run. This advice is also good for those countless guys in countless threads that are in the friend zone.

Now it can work out going back to an ex. I've seen it work out very well with a few people, but only if there is a solid basis of love/emotions/connection between the two people and both want to try and the things and the background to those things that split you up in the first relationship are worked on by both people. Do not expect to go back to where you were, as where you were and how you acted in the old relationship are the things that split you up.

I would say though that bad sex is not a good sign at all, unless you were both quite inexperienced. In that case it should get better. Also how would you define bad sex? Was it just the physical that was the problem or was there no emotional connection during it? The former can be worked on, the latter is a lost cause. A lot of couples sex lives diminish after an initial excitement period and they wonder where the "spark" went. I would opine it's because of a lack of emotional connection in the first place more than anything. Without that the physical will get worse with time.

Talliesin

Unre11450871145 wrote:

Well recently it has been like the old times before we got together, she is really flirty around me and im really confused. Does this mean she wants to get back with me or what.

Maybe she does and maybe she doesn't. That's pretty much the point of flirting; once it's either clearly seduction or clearly having fun it isn't really flirting any more.

A more important question is, what has changed that could make this better than it was the last time? If you don't have a good answer to that then just enjoy the flirting and don't try for anything more.

someothername

move on chap.....
same as other posters have said ... she is either using you as her fallback man or else is using you to regain confidence and let her know "she still has it"

my advice - enjoy the flirting , but dont read too much into it....
and dont go back..... you broke up for a valid reason the first time.

Mr. Incognito

The grass is always greener in your imagination

LegacyUser

'well today we wnt shopping together, and it was amazing she was flirting and hitting me and playful messing. im so confused'