I like Him. He Likes Her. She Doesn't Like Him. Hmm. Guy/girl friendships. Argh.

LegacyUser

I guess I'm just posting this here as I really cannot tell any of my friends the following and need to vent. One of my best friends is a guy. He's really great but very shy when it comes to women. I didn't fancy him at all when we became friends first. He is very good looking...when I was getting to know him first, he was just way too quite etc...but now we click so well. He has a great personality.

I liked him for ages, never told him, left the country and when I returned, immediately started going out with someone new...met someone else but it ended soon after. At that time a female friend of mine stared a small thing going with my guy friend. They just kissed once. I was a bit jealous, but I kept my mouth shut until she started seeing someone else+ I sort of told her to sort it out as it wasn't on etc. She chose the other guy (and is still happily going out with him 2 years later..now).

So my guy friend has been single for a while, he is now absolutely crazy about... my best female friend. Great. I've never told him straight out that I like him+ I've wrecked a friendship before, big time by going out with a guy friend (so wasn't worth it).... In relation to my best female friend... there's no WAY I'd tell her I was into him (long story which I won't go into)

so far, I've been staying out of anything between these two friends as much as possible (like if they both really liked each other, then of course I would never say anything etc..how could I, I would try and be happy for them as they're both amazing people)... both my guy friend (completely blind to how I do or could feel about him), rambles on to me about my female friend... he likes her so much. Then on the other hand, she doesn't feel a spark+ won't tell him out straight she doesn't like him etc... he's living on in hope, while I'm there, right in front of him.... listening to him talking about her. Hm. This is just a big vent, but it would be interesting to here if someone happened to be in a very similar situation etc. Thanks.

Teddi

OP, After reading this one thing came to mind at the end, you need to tell him!!
I was in something similiar about 3 years ago, never did anything about it until it was too late..then i regreted not doing it in the first place as whats there to loose?..If he is your best mate and doesnt feel the same, He'll be complimented but he should be able to get over that quick

I know its a sticky situation to be in, maybe take him aside and do the honest thing and tell him exactly how you feel, its the direct route but i think he deserves to know, you sound like your really suited for eachother

Teddi..

LegacyUser

Nothing worse than the object of your affection pouring his heart out to you about how much he likes someone else. I've been there....ugh.

Overheal

i think ive been in that situation before but i was the idiot cant be too sure about this though.. never really did find out.

LegacyUser

'hey op
been there no how you feel

you can say how you feel, its not hard it just takes strength!

I told this chick i really like once and it went tits up, i told another chick and where still friends and alls good there but i dont think id want to go out with her untill she cops on a bit more.

for your own sanity you should tell him, even if things go bad well take it as a learning experence but things could go good just do it for your self and your own sanity. other thing is remember he's seeing a girl who's giving him the arse so to speek . So in theroy he sounds like he knows what hes after but hes after something he can't, so he's sorta kick himself in the nuts....

good luck hope it all works out...'

LegacyUser

'Thanks for the replies. It's a bit ironic... my very good female friend has just started a thing going with someone she really likes. I'm really happy for her. She's not going to tell me guy friend this, as he never told her how he felt about her directly... it was all hearsay from other people (other friends who meant well). So now.. I want my guy friend to obviously know that the girl has moved on... but I don't want to tell me, as that would be a sort of gossip that I don't want to have to get involved in, + I don't want to be a go between/ messenger (there's a saying about that). Hmmm. he is blissfully unaware. I think in a situation like this, then yes, he should know so that he won't be always living on in a fantasy world and could...ah, move on. (my female friend thinks that the opposite, as that way he wouldn't be hurt). Any more suggestions/thoughts?'

Red Alert

From my experience so far you are best putting it out in the open with him as soon as possible. Otherwise you could end up wasting your own time if he doesn't think it's a good idea.

Teddi

I agree with red alert..


Its like taking a band aid off...just do it quickly and it wont hurt as much.

The sooner you tell him..the sooner that black cloud can float off your shoulders and you can be more at ease.

I would HATE to know that someone didnt tell me something serious like that...he could easily turn around to you and say "well...i like you too"....

now wouldnt that be something?

tell him....

you know you wanna!

Teddi..