Just feel so sad

MarinoMark

Feeling sad, no reason. Things are ok on the job,relationship, front, just feel so so sad...Is this weird ?

Doctor DooM

Nope. You are human so at the mercy of your hormones, etc.

Try getting out a bit more, air and activity help cheer the mood.

Mazeire

MarinoMark wrote:

Feeling sad, no reason. Things are ok on the job,relationship, front, just feel so so sad...Is this weird ?

No it was a crappy cold wet day and it was a Monday...do you suffer from SAD?

No, its normal enough. I get down for seemingly no reason regularly. Theres probably something u feel u are missing in your life and u may not have figured out what it is??


For example:


The guy who has a great wife, beautiful kids, stable and well paid job etc but never got to travel like he always dreamt of.

The guy who spends so much time with his girlfriend that he never sees his male friends and feels like he no longer has them.

The mother of two great young boys who wishes she had a daughter........




Try taking up a new hobby, do a nightcourse for a few weeks, take up a sport etc, just do something new. Breaks the monotony and you'll probably feel better. And try and figure out what u may be missing in your life.

MarinoMark

Ok..some backround. Lovely wife so so kind to me, little boy, Deaf, but had a cochlear implant, coming on great.he is 4 and is such a joy to me. Came to my bed last night in his pj,s and wellies at 4am and asked could we go fishing !! I think keeping all the balls in the air is killing me.
Huge Mortgage and I worry so so much if I get sick....we are doomed. Wish I could afford a sickness policy, But I cant. Have a huge commute daily...120 miles round trip, 5 days a week. I am bollioxed , but try not to show it...Typical man. I leave at 5.45am and have my dinner on a tray watching the 9 o clock news. Just cant hack it no more. Thats why I am sad....

Silent Grape

can your work tranfer you somewhere closer or can you switch companies to be closer?

and excercise a few times a week, go for a run or something, endorphins really do work. plan something for each weekend that you've been wanting to do but never got around to. even if its just meeting up with an old friend or reading another chapter of that book you never get a chance to read. something just for you. also spontaneously doing something really nice for someone else every now and then also really helps to cheer me up, like bringing your wife home a giant bunch of sunflowers or something, i dont know, it works for me anyway.

Esel

Could you stay over one night a week instead of commuting every day? Crash in a mate's or something? Even do that every second week?

It would help you to catch up on sleep and maybe get some relaxation in as well. Worth thinking about - even give it a try once and see how it goes.

Don't be worrying about getting sick, or any other stuff that is probably very unlikely to happen.

[edit] And get to bed, man! Early start and all that. [/edit]

biko

MarinoMark wrote:

Feeling sad, no reason. Things are ok on the job,relationship, front, just feel so so sad...Is this weird?

MarinoMark wrote:

Ok..some backround. Lovely wife so so kind to me, little boy, Deaf, but had a cochlear implant, coming on great.he is 4 and is such a joy to me. Came to my bed last night in his pj,s and wellies at 4am and asked could we go fishing !! I think keeping all the balls in the air is killing me.
Huge Mortgage and I worry so so much if I get sick....we are doomed. Wish I could afford a sickness policy, But I cant. Have a huge commute daily...120 miles round trip, 5 days a week. I am bollioxed , but try not to show it...Typical man. I leave at 5.45am and have my dinner on a tray watching the 9 o clock news. Just cant hack it no more. Thats why I am sad....

We all feel the worries of life now and again, hope it turns out well for you (and the rest of us).

Mr.Nice Guy

"Tears may flow in the night but there is joy in the morning".

~ Psalms

Cionnfhaolaidh

Sounds like the commuting/rat race is having an adverse effect on your quality of life. Have you thought about moving closer to work or finding a job closer to home? And why are you worring about becoming sick?

jawlie

MarinoMark wrote:

Ok..some backround. Lovely wife so so kind to me, little boy, Deaf, but had a cochlear implant, coming on great.he is 4 and is such a joy to me. Came to my bed last night in his pj,s and wellies at 4am and asked could we go fishing !! I think keeping all the balls in the air is killing me.
Huge Mortgage and I worry so so much if I get sick....we are doomed. Wish I could afford a sickness policy, But I cant. Have a huge commute daily...120 miles round trip, 5 days a week. I am bollioxed , but try not to show it...Typical man. I leave at 5.45am and have my dinner on a tray watching the 9 o clock news. Just cant hack it no more. Thats why I am sad....

Like most people who ask others for their opinion, you know the answer to your problem already, and just need reassurance.

Drift

Maybe if you make a little plan for each weekend in advance. If you do it on Monday or Tuesday you'll be looking forward all week. Could you bring the little lad fishing this weekend?

It doesn't even have to be anything major. Going to rent a cartoon on dvd or something and all three of you watch it together on Saturday evening. Anything that you'll enjoy. Also just keep your eyes open for a job nearer home ... you don't have to change immediately but it will probably make you feel a bit better that you're at least being proactive enough to search.

Good luck man, I know you don't feel it at the moment but you have got it a lot better than some. You just need to change things around a bit to get out of the routine.

How Strange

MarinoMark Ok..some backround. Lovely wife so so kind to me, little boy, Deaf, but had a cochlear implant, coming on great.he is 4 and is such a joy to me. Came to my bed last night in his pj,s and wellies at 4am and asked could we go fishing !! I think keeping all the balls in the air is killing me.
Huge Mortgage and I worry so so much if I get sick....we are doomed. Wish I could afford a sickness policy, But I cant. Have a huge commute daily...120 miles round trip, 5 days a week. I am bollioxed , but try not to show it...Typical man. I leave at 5.45am and have my dinner on a tray watching the 9 o clock news. Just cant hack it no more. Thats why I am sad....

Wow MarinoMark, you sound very stressed and weary and I'm not suprised. What age are you? Mid-late thirties? You have put yourself under some extreme amount of pressure.

Where is your quality of life? I think young Irish adults are so desperate to accumulate all the trappings that they forget life is for living and enjoying. You are lucky in so many ways and you know it. You have a family. That's precious.

Just imagine for a second - what would happen if you got sick and had to make a life change or if something awful happened to one of your family to make you re-evaluate everything. Would you miss the great job if you had to give it up? Would you miss the big house if you had to sell it? Would you miss the commute? Probably not. It might be tight at first but you would do it. So why wait for something to happen to force your hand?

Try to change one thing in your life - it will be a biggie but make a sacrifice. Get a job closer to home even if it means a paycit, sell the house and get a smaller one. If that isn't feasible try to do something, ANYTHING, to give yourself a quality of life.

MarinoMark

Decided today to do something...anything..this sucks...thanks all..Mark

dudara

Good luck with whatever you choose. Life can suck at times, but ultimately it is up to you to live it.

Pauli

check out a book called How To Be Idle by Tom Hodgkinson

MarinoMark

Whooooope ! Have an interview this friday for a job 6 miles from home. Wage cut, but I spend that on petrol anyway !! Fingers crossed, and thanks to you lot out there, Complete Strangers, So kind...Thank You.

SarahSassy

MarinoMark wrote:

Feeling sad, no reason. Things are ok on the job,relationship, front, just feel so so sad...Is this weird ?

Who said we have to be happy all the time??? Are you sad or just not happy??? If we all bounced around on top of the world all the time we would be like stepford wives....

It will pass... If not within a month or so try visiting the doctor...

Pigletlover

MarinoMark wrote:

Whooooope ! Have an interview this friday for a job 6 miles from home. Wage cut, but I spend that on petrol anyway !! Fingers crossed, and thanks to you lot out there, Complete Strangers, So kind...Thank You.

Best of luck. Don't focus on the wage cut - as you said you spend it on petrol anyway and you could always go home for lunch and save there. You'll be able to lie in a bit longer in the mornings, get home earlier in the evenings and then have loads of energy to do all the things you're too sapped to do now at the weekends. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you.

How Strange

MarinoMark, congrats on the interview. Forget about the paycut. Unfortunately if you take a job out of Dublin you will have to take some sort of cut. Focus on the things you will gain like having dinner in the evening with your wife at 7pm or putting your son to bed.

Good luck on Friday.

SarahSassy

Best of luck on Friday.

Corkgirl21

Oh good luck tomorrow. I hope it goes well...

Aard

MarinoMark wrote:

Whooooope ! Have an interview this friday for a job 6 miles from home. Wage cut, but I spend that on petrol anyway !! Fingers crossed, and thanks to you lot out there, Complete Strangers, So kind...Thank You.

I really hope this works out for you. The commute and lack of spare time was clearly a killer for you, but it takes balls to take a lower wage. Fair play.

Radio Mad.

The very best of luck with the interview. I don't know you, but, having read your message, I truly hope you get the job, and start feeling a whole lot better very, very soon. Life really can be tough. Fingers and toes crossed all goes well.

brayblue24

All the advice given to you here is good, particularly by "how strange". The value of having breakfast/lunch/dinner with your kids and/or dropping them off/collecting them from school is priceless, it really is-and it can't be bought back when they're 18! Bring the boy fishing but insist he wears the boots! Even if you hate fishing! Went through that myself 8 years ago, changed lifestlye ie. off the gargle, took up cycling. Now 40 feel great, look good ( I think ) for my age, lost weight, but most importantly have breakfast/dinner with my kids 90% of the time & still occasionally get out for the odd beer with my mates ( I had to reconnect there too ). Your current position is as temporary as you make IMO.
PS: I should add, if these suggestions do not work maybe you should visit your GP to be sure there is not something more underlying. I was actually suffering from PTSD but a couple of tabs short term set me off to a whole new outlook and TBH I've never looked back!! Life Is Good.

Dave!

Best of luck with the interview! If for some reason you don't get it, don't dwell on it, just get back on the bike and look for another job!

It's great that you made the decision and are going ahead with it. It's not healthy to be commuting for so long when you clearly want to spend more time with your family.

Good luck to you and all the best!

Jesus Wept

MarinoMark wrote:

Ok..some backround. Lovely wife so so kind to me, little boy, Deaf, but had a cochlear implant, coming on great.he is 4 and is such a joy to me. Came to my bed last night in his pj,s and wellies at 4am and asked could we go fishing !!

lol! Too cool.

MarinoMark wrote:

I think keeping all the balls in the air is killing me.
Huge Mortgage and I worry so so much if I get sick....we are doomed. Wish I could afford a sickness policy, But I cant. Have a huge commute daily...120 miles round trip, 5 days a week. I am bollioxed , but try not to show it...Typical man. I leave at 5.45am and have my dinner on a tray watching the 9 o clock news. Just cant hack it no more. Thats why I am sad....

Sounds like you need some lifestyle changes, you are burning the candle too much.

Can you move closer to where you work? Would that be more expensive or less?

Could you downsize the house? Would that be a huge loss to you/your wife?

Could you work from home a couple of days? Would that make things easier in any way or not?

Could you change jobs?



Edit: I see most of these questions were asked, heh.