Virgin Girlfriend

LegacyUser

My current girlfriend and i have reached the stage where sex has come into the picture. The issue is she is a virgin and nervous and im just not able to get her to relax enough to make it possible.

Also she is not as relaxed about sex and both oral and hand stimulation are off the cards making it a little more difficult again.

She keeps suggesting getting drunk and iv continually talked her out of it as i want it to be a better memory than when i lost mine.

I want to make it as nice as i can but its proving difficult as even with alot of foreplay she cant relax as she keeps building it up.

anyone have any helpful suggestions.

Knockoff Nige

She could drink 1 or 2 as that should be enough to get her to relax. She doesnt need to black out. Also why is oral and /or handjob out of the question?

txt_mess

If you really want to do it right leave the drink out and try to not make it about sex just try and enjoy yourselves things will go further eventually in their own time

Marksie

unreg1010101 wrote:

My current girlfriend and i have reached the stage where sex has come into the picture. The issue is she is a virgin and nervous and im just not able to get her to relax enough to make it possible..

If she is not relaxing she may in fact not be ready to go further, despite your best efforts

unreg1010101 wrote:

Also she is not as relaxed about sex and both oral and hand stimulation are off the cards making it a little more difficult again. .

if manual stimulation is not possible then certainly moving straight to penetrative intercourse will not be. She does not seem comfortable at all with the idea of physical intimacy at this point.
Maybe she is unure of how to effectively strojke you, or is frightened.
One possibility is to let her watch you stroke yourself. while she touches the non genital parts of your body.
She will then see how you like to do it and also get used to the idea of touching and intimacy

unreg1010101 wrote:

She keeps suggesting getting drunk and iv continually talked her out of it as i want it to be a better memory than when i lost mine..

That is the best course of action.

unreg1010101 wrote:

I want to make it as nice as i can but its proving difficult as even with alot of foreplay she cant relax as she keeps building it up..

Building what up?
The energy or the urge to have penetrative sex?
It does seem that she isn't at all ready despite what she says

unreg1010101 wrote:

anyone have any helpful suggestions.

Forget about the penetration aspect, concentrte totally on the foreplay. Make it teh be all and end all.
I get the hint that you are doing all the foreplay? Would that be correct?
If so, gently bring her into teh whole process, move her slowly beyond the resistance and into physical intimacy.

Talliesin

unreg1010101 wrote:

both oral and hand stimulation are off the cards

Why?

mr biazzi

hahahahahahahaha

Wibbs

mr biazzi wrote:

hahahahahahahaha

Clearly this brings up painful sound memories of the time mr biazzi's girlfriend saw him naked for the first time.

OP I think you have to talk to your girlfriend about this. If foreplay is pretty much off the cards, what makes you think intercourse is going to be a good thing for her?

Overheal

I tend to agree: how can you reach Home base without going to Third (foreplay)?

Marksie

mr biazzi: read the charter on off topic unhelpful posting. Any more and you will be banned

Miss Fluff

unreg1010101 wrote:

Also she is not as relaxed about sex and both oral and hand stimulation are off the cards making it a little more difficult again..

Why off the cards? Have you tried and she finds it uncomfortable/unpleasant or does she object to you trying? I think you are trying to run before you can walk here, I'd put penetrative sex completely out of your mind until you can enjoy all other aspects of foreplay. Maybe she feels unable to relax because she feels under pressure (suggesting that she gets herself sh1t-faced beforehand wouldn't exactly instill confidence - and NOT something she should do, you were right to advise against).

Put penetrative sex on the back burner for now and get to know one another's bodies better before contemplating it. When you get to that stage, you can then turn around and have mind-blowing sex but right now she is obviously not ready for it.

LegacyUser

'Yea it looks like i have to agree with ye and say she is simply not ready despite what she says.

As for hand stimulation/oral she objects to it.
I do not put any pressure on her and i will not do so in future either.
I think it will just take time.

Thanks for your help.'

Talliesin

thnk3435 wrote:

As for hand stimulation/oral she objects to it.

If she objects to that then what does she not object to; lying back and thinking of Ireland while you go straight for penetration?

Not feeling ready for sex is one thing, feeling ready for sex as long as it's crap is another. I'd rather have no sex tbh.

Wait until she's really ready.

Mr. Incognito

Why the hell does she object to it? It's a penis not a spider. She's going to have to get a bit more comfortable with sex. She sounds quite young and nervous. I think you need to sit down and have a proper chat instead of going headlong here. Rest her mind and the body will follow.

strawberrybox

i think you are just going to have to take things in very small steps she may be just nervous and afraid of getting things wrong all girls go through something similar and think "oh god what if he thinks im crap and i dont know what im doing" when your making out just start easy on the foreplay and re assure her that it doesnt neccessarly have to end with sex and that should take some of the pressure off her if she thinks that everytime you touch her she is thinking that she will have to have sex, i think a drink or two is no harm obviously dont get hammered but it prolly help her to relax