She wants..... what?

LegacyUser

So I had known this girl from last year and now this week after a fateful encounter we kinda fell into this thing...

Well on night one we had got together at the bank of a river for a while and I walked her home. Then the next day we spent some time together, rented a movie, etc.
When we get back to her place she explains to me that shes a month out of her 6th relationship (she's 22 and has been dating perpetually since 16). So now I have come along right when she was planning to give the whole Independence thing a try. She told me a bit of all of this the night before so I wasn't taken back all that much.

I on the other hand, am 20 and have never been in a relationship. hell, I've barely been kissed up until this week. So I've got a strong feel for the Independence thing. Anyway, we talked about this for an hour but were somewhat distracted by the chemistry between us.

Anyway we end up taking a long walk back to my place because the TV was occupied. Anyway, we watch the movie and she ends up staying the night. I dont have any experience sharing a bed so sleep didnt come easy for me, but she seemed very comfortable with it; even happy, in her sleep.

So thus far we've talked a bit and hung out a little after that but there hasn't been any interaction really approaching the same area. Frankly, I'm a little concerned about falling into the Friend Zone as much as I know I need to give her space

so basically yea: this n00b on a stick needs advice.

Wibbs

If she asks for space give it to her and lots of it. It has two purposes, 1) it establishes that you will be adult about this and are no pushover and want more than friendship, 2) People are more likely to want what they can't have. Either way, result.

LegacyUser

Im exactly in the same boat with a guy I like. Same zone that you get on really well and am really just not sure where to go and what to say. Stayed over at his place, great fun and we pratically talk every day!

I too think the "FriendZone" could be approaching and as much as I dont want to loose this guy as a friend (cause he really is the best - he's just soooo much fun!), i dont want to push him away by bringing up the subject of everything. I know that he is not good at all with a commitment thing and its not like I want to marry him or anything but I would love to see if he showed some form of idea that it may at some point happen. If he just mentioned that he didnt like me, id take it on the chin cause I wouldnt want to not be friends!

Sorry man I have just completely taken over your post but SNAP buddy! Its not a nice place to be

Carrigart Exile

You will be dangled on a stick until she tires of you and is ready to move on to what she sees as her next proper relationship.

Dakeyras

next time you in bed sleeping, drop the hand! no point dancing around, no point wondering, if you're done you're done and if you're good you be good!

thats honest advice ruthie, stay any twitchy ban urges

Gaz

Dakeyras wrote:

next time you in bed sleeping, drop the hand!

I agree , you should have made a move. "Friends" dont sleep together , sleeping together shows intimacy on some level .... either she was up for some no strings fun (which will become a headfu<K in the long run) or she was being a tease.

Oh oh , or maybe she was testing you .... women can be sneaky like that

Dakeyras

Darth Homer wrote:

I agree , you should have made a move. "Friends" dont sleep together

alas i'll have to disagree, course they do. ive done many a time and will do again

i still recommend the op to drop the hand. one must know were one stands

LegacyUser

Well that night there was a lot of making out, yes. each of us did everything above the waist though pretty much - she set the boundary line on anything past the lingerie lines: belly, small of back, neck, etc. etc. were all allowed...hands were allowed underneath clothing; clothes did not come off save for when I lifted her shirt to make out with her belly

pretty-in-pink

Friends can just sleep in the same bed.

but if something already happened then make a move, or tease her back. she could very well want a friend she sometimes sleeps with. play it carefully but deffo play it

Overheal

n00b-ona-stick wrote:

Well that night there was a lot of making out, yes. each of us did everything above the waist though pretty much - she set the boundary line on anything past the lingerie lines: belly, small of back, neck, etc. etc. were all allowed...hands were allowed underneath clothing; clothes did not come off save for when I lifted her shirt to make out with her belly

well that doesnt sound too friend zone to me whats youre big worry?

BaZmO*

n00b-ona-stick wrote:

Well that night there was a lot of making out, yes. each of us did everything above the waist though pretty much - she set the boundary line on anything past the lingerie lines: belly, small of back, neck, etc. etc. were all allowed...hands were allowed underneath clothing; clothes did not come off save for when I lifted her shirt to make out with her belly

Did she make you sign a contract first?

You have 2 choices here, the first one is dependant on whether you're happy being involved in some type of Fúck Buddy scenario.

a) next time you're together make a move and see where it goes

or

b) hang around her like a lap dog while she plays you like a puppet.

K-9

n00b-ona-stick wrote:

Well that night there was a lot of making out, yes. each of us did everything above the waist though pretty much - she set the boundary line on anything past the lingerie lines: belly, small of back, neck, etc. etc. were all allowed...hands were allowed underneath clothing; clothes did not come off save for when I lifted her shirt to make out with her belly

Build on that! You're getting somewhere. Sounds like no, not now, but a definite maybe, in the future! If no later, she's a tease, or you did something wrong!

livinginkorea

Well you are going along the right track but no need to be in such a hurry. Take your time and enjoy it. Get to know her more and then you will understand her more if she is serious or not.

It always happens that when you are not looking somebody great comes along.

- D

Dragan

Darth Homer wrote:

"Friends" dont sleep together , sleeping together shows intimacy on some level

I disagree. I have slept quite happily in the same bed as a few of my female friends, normally in the "boyfriend" position of their head on my chest and my arm around them.

Hardly lacking in intimacy.

Just because two folk sleep in the same bed does not mean anything has to happen. I always take it as a great compliment that someone would be willing to trust me like that, to be honest. There is more to intimacy than sex..... emotional intimacy can be unbelievable.

Gaz

I suppose your right but for a lot of blokes , especially younger guys , i think they would tend to look at sleeping in the same bed as a "Im in here" type of moment.

I think for me i dont look at it as a "friends" thing to do because im in a long term relationship , if i was to sleep with a female friend in a completely plutonic way my other half would probably do a loretta Bobbit on my man bits

munsterchick

2 years ago, I was just out of a 1 ****ty relationship followed by another. I wasn't looking for a relationship just some fun being single,

One night I happened to meet a fella i was mad about for ages, and nearly 2years later we are still together, despite the fact i wasn't looking for a relationship and neither was he. We love each other and that all that matters.

My reckoning is that love comes along when your not looking.

Make a move on her, she could be lying there wanting you to make a move on her, but too shy/embarassed whatever to make a move on you.

You'l never know till you try.