I'm 20, she is 27...any hope?

Bored-Stupid

I was on a trip to Africa and not when I was there, but when I came home and saw this woman (my leader on the trip) more as a friend than my leader did I become attracted to her.I live here and she lives in England (well she is going to college there) and while I was visiting her one weekend we went out,got a bit drunk and copped off with eachother.

Ever since im attracted to her even more but as my title says im 20 and she is 27. Whats even as difficult is that I still kinda see her as my leader rather than as the fantastic woman and friend she is....how could I approach this.I dont even know what her feelings were about us getting together!

Actually I kinda tell a lie....I txt her (as I was too cowardly to say it to her face or phone her) this morning and told her how I feel. But she hasnt gotten back to me.Like we were txting freely before I sent that message so its not like she hasnt got her phone.So what could this mean and would she be offended by someone 7 yrs younger saying that they have these feelings for her?

I hope I havent ruined our friendship.

AckwelFoley

7 years for a woman to be older than the man, particularly when she is in her 20's is alot.

At least you had the balls to let her know how you feel, but i dont think she is going to e interested. You havnt ruined the friendship yet, when she does get back to decline the kind offer, take it on the chinand let her know that the friend ship is more important and that the reaso you are attracted to her is because shes such a great person.

sjaakie

my opinion: women like having a younger bf/partner/husband.. for a variety of reasons... the fact that she has not texted you back yet does not mean anything, she could be out and about, in the shower, having a meeting or whatever.

yes! persue, worst thing that could happen is that she says no. Dont have any ! hang ups about being younger cus that is childish

my husband ( yes he used to be my bf ) is younger then i am and i always loved it, its the personality that counts not the age .

gl

Zambia

Mate this is like a wink from a pretty girl at a party. It may go somewhere it may go nowhere but only a fool does not follow it to its full conculsion.

Oh and you may try actually ringing her, she appears to be worth the full conversation experience as opposed 2 d txt altern*.

Best of luck

Dudess

snyper wrote:

7 years for a woman to be older than the man, particularly when she is in her 20's is alot.

But it would be ok if you reversed the genders? I have a real problem with that double standard. You're only saying "for a woman to be older than a man" because it flies in the face of what you consider the cultural norm. And what's this "particularly when she is in her 20s" about?

Bored-Stupid

Thanks for all your advice....I rang her earlier and as expected she doesnt feel the same way,admits the night we had together was a mistake and just wants to forget about it....she did say it in the nicest way possible and we agreed to focus on having a good friendship and move on from this!

Cheers All!

P.S That means im single ladies!Ha you all know my age too!

Dudess

20? You've YEARS of fun with the opposite sex to look forward to! Enjoy! As for age gaps, I think it's more about whether you're on the same wavelength. I'm 29 and I go for fellas in their 40s.

scoot on

Just to give the flip side.

A friend of mine (female) is 30 and has been going out with a 22 year old for the last 6 months. They're so happy together it's sickening

But it can work. Totally depends on the people imo

Talliesin

Sure it can work. It probably won't, but then that's true of any potential couple at this stage.

If it seems worth going for, go for it.

Jonnykitedude

im 25 and im getting married to my G/F who is 32 nearly 33 in 18 months!!!

livinginkorea

Well at least you found out. It's better to have love and lost then not to have loved at all! The waiting to find out and not being sure can be a kick in the nuts but once you find out everything can be ok. At least you two can still be friends.

My wife is 5 years older than me

- lik

Bored-Stupid

Well I have a date for friday night with a lovely girl I used to work with!She is 2 years younger than me.....so a 9 year turnaround!!

Maybe this was meant to happen.....hopefully anyway!

Papillon87

Bored-Stupid wrote:

Well I have a date for friday night with a lovely girl I used to work with!She is 2 years younger than me.....so a 9 year turnaround!!

Maybe this was meant to happen.....hopefully anyway!

Hope it all works out for you!

LegacyUser

Nah...

How Strange

I was on a trip to Africa and not when I was there, but when I came home and saw this woman (my leader on the trip) more as a friend than my leader did I become attracted to her......Ever since im attracted to her even more but as my title says im 20 and she is 27. Whats even as difficult is that I still kinda see her as my leader rather than as the fantastic woman and friend she is....how could I approach this.

OP, I think you're attraction to this woman was partly because she was the leader of your travel group. That's a fairly common occurance when you go away with a group of people. At least one person out of the group will fancy the leader regardless of whether it is male or female. You said yourself that you still see her as a leader and not a friend. And the fact that she is older, confident and looking after you all would fuel a younger man's desire.

From her perspective, she probably gets lots of attention from male travellers so you are just one of many. The two of you got together afterwards and she might have seen that as being unprofessional because they can lose their jobs for doing that.

In short its all perfectly normal, its like a holiday romance except you fell in love/lust with the leader not a fellow traveller. Enjoy it for what it was, remember it with fondness and move on.

Bored-Stupid

Thanks for all your help folks.Just want to add that I was on my date and went very well.Will be seeing her again so I guess it may be fate.Lets hope so!:D

bronte

Great stuff!! hope it works out for you!!